One If By Clam, Two If By Sea

Season 3, Episode 4, Aired
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Episode Summary

When a hurricane strikes Quahog, everything is destroyed except The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.moreless
8.2
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EPISODE RATING: Great
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Fan Episode Reviews (13)

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  • Terrible.

    2.0
    "Terrible"
    By jmbsonic555, Oct 30, 2011 Report Abuse
    When a hurricane strikes Quahog, everything is destroyed except The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.

    What I liked:
    -Tricia Takinawa getting hit by the tree
    -The King of the Hill reference

    2/10

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    0 1

  • Can someone explain the title?

    8.5
    "Great"
    By oceanic6, Jul 03, 2010 Report Abuse
    After a hurricane sweeps Quahog; their favorite bar is sold to the English and Peter and his friends are accused burning it down. Meanwhile; Lois tries to avoid the charms of a creepy Brit whose daughter, Stewie tries to make into a proper lady. Who would've thought that a natural disaster will prove to be the setting for one of the most consistently funny Family Guy episodes i've seen. Besides the endless British jokes and accents which prove just as effective as other stereotypes; but any other gag just bullseyed and couple that with a fun plot and it's a recipe for a winner. Special mentions go to the "cigarrette" gag, the nod to King of the Hill (it's about time!), the maniacal cockroach and of course the vacuum bit. In fact make it any joke where you can't sense the writer's begging us to laugh. This episode takes the correct step in avoiding any dramatic moments or falling back on a soppy ending; both seemed imminent at some points. Everything here is played for laughs and it's what people want from an animated comedy; if they wanted forced drama they'd tuen in to any channel during midday. Unfortunately, not everything in this episode works. There are some large - scale failures to balance out this episode's many triumphs; the most notable being the whole subplot involving Stewie and Eloiza. As far as comedy goes, it is painfully dull and not funny. Every time the scene shifts to these two brats, we witness a grinding halt to an otherwise smooth episode. We just wanted to say "Yes, we get it. My Fair Lady!". Also Nigel Pinchley is given too much time onscreen and his teeth, mannerisms and speech gets less amusing with each scene.

    One if by....blah, blah. Is really what Family Guy stands for and is one of the few times where we walk away from it satisfied.moreless

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    2 0

  • It wasn't funny at all.

    8.0
    "Great"
    By amazing_race, Feb 06, 2010 Report Abuse
    Although it is still a fairly worthwhile episode, this one was aboslutely dreadful in the humour department. That aspect of the show was 100% missing from this episode, which is my only criticism this time round.

    On to the positive side of the episode, which is that the storyline is interesting and that is what was the good part of this episode.

    I thought it was well thought of and I really enjoyed the storyline, which is always great!

    However, I don't think it is an episode that is really rewatchable, because it didn't provide any laughs at all.

    However, if you can get past that, it is still a worthwhile episode.moreless

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    1 0

  • British people invade the Drunken Clam.

    9.1
    "Superb"
    By thefanof, Aug 21, 2008 Report Abuse
    This is a fine example of how good Family Guy was during its first run and now because of newer episodes, this can be considered a series classic. So many classic quotes from "We kicked your ass in WWII" to "we'll drive them back to whatever country they came from" that it is difficult to stay in your seat while watching the broadcast.

    Instead of bizarre pop culture references reminiscent of Disaster Movie, Meet The Spartans or other garbage like that, there were a limited number of well-thought-out cutaway scenes. The plot was interesting and did not digress like so often the case with newer episodes. This was just a really fun half hour of television.moreless

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    1 0

  • This was a great episode, and the show is just getting better and better (more funny and interesting)...

    8.4
    "Great"
    By j19000, Aug 03, 2008 Report Abuse
    This was a great episode, and the show is getting better and better...

    This presented a lot of entertainment, especially because of the humor. It's also more pleasing when Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire are all involved with Peter, like this episode. The drunken clam was replaced by some gay place and because of an attack by a large insect, Peter was convicted to jail along with his best mates: Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire. Them being in jail was a massive nutty comedy and I'll probably never forget those jail scenes.

    Stewie seemed to find a bit of love, but maybe I wouldn't really call it that --. He taught this girl how to correctly pronounce words and to sing, not that funny - but very interesting to watch.

    The whole plot about the villain and witnesses with crime and everything was a series classic. Epic...
    I loved it heaps, and I just can't wait to see more of this third season.

    Overall, it's definitely getting better and better. I can't wait to see more. Great, clever and a homorous episode.moreless

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    1 0
 

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • Trivia

    ADD TRIVIA
    • Lois mistakes a globe for Bonnie's pregnant stomach, but Bonnie was wearing her normal dress, not a blue one. Edit
    • The Union Flag displayed in the Clam's Head bar is inaccurate; the red saltire of St. Patrick is centered in the white St. Andrew's Cross instead of being staggered. Edit
    • In the Tron parody there is a secret message that says "Your TV is upside down if you can read this." The message is indeed upside down. Edit

  • Notes

    ADD NOTES
    • The syndication version of this episode cuts out Quagmire's pick-up line in the lesbian bar "Any of you girls been penetrated?" and his being thrown out on the street. The TBS and Adult Swim versions retain both Edit
    • In the original airing of this episode, Fox cut out this after the British guy tries to explain cricket to the guys and they are confused. Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that 'fag' means cigarette. Peter: Well, someone tell this cigarette to shut up! This line can be seen on the volume 2 DVD, and in repeats on the Cartoon Network. Edit
    • Originally scheduled to air on July 25, 2000. Edit

  • Quotes

    ADD QUOTES
    • Bartender: Evening, gents! How about a nice, warm lager? Englishman: And help yourself to a packet of crisps. Englishman Two: Or a ruddy nice plum pudding. Peter: Holy crap, it's a gay bar! Edit
    • Tom Tucker: In a late breaking development, the police have a new suspect. We now go live to Hispanic reporter, Maria Jim...Jimen...Jimen- Diane Simmons: -Jimenez. Tom: I know what it is! Edit
    • (Peter is punched in the face by a Queen's Guard) Peter: Hell, I thought you English guys never move. Guard: No. That's just our women. Edit

  • Allusions

    ADD ALLUSIONS
    • Tron The futuristic bike race is an allusion to the race sequence in the movie 'Tron'. Edit
    • Time-Life books 70s ad The scene in which Joe pulls out a copy of Time-Life Book of Quohog Killers is a parody of an ad that Time Life Books ran in the 70s/80s for their book The Gunfighters. Quagmire's and Peter's lines are direct from the ad, and the ad was famous for mentioning John Wesley Hardin - a man so mean he once shot a man just for snoring. Edit
    • Fosse When the boys are in jail practicing their dance for the prison talent show, the movements, hats and music are a nod to the Broadway show "Fosse", based on the choreography of dancer/actor/director Bob Fosse. Edit

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