Take My Wife
Lois (and various)
Meg (season 2+)
Chris (and various)
Peter / Stewie / Brian / Quagmire / Tom Tucker (and various)
Before Chris' concert, James Woods Regional High School is shown, but with its sign's middle word spelled incorrectly: "Reglonal."
The soldier who Stewie and Brian see after they shoot themselves in the feet is wearing master sergeant insignia on his arm and lieutenant general rank insignia on his lapel. It is unlikely that a general would be guarding the medical tent, so it is reasonable to assume he was a master sergeant.
The Drill Sergeant's stripes are upside down even though on the wall next to the recruiters door the enlisted ranks were correct.
The second episode in a row to have unpopular side character(s) killed off.
The sign outside of Radio City Music Hall says "Radio City, Welcome to the Grammys (Not you, Fred Durst).
Brian's non-traditional challenges during the obstacle course include riding a unicycle, completing a Rubik's Cube, playing Perfection, finding Waldo, serving Pepper to two diners, and consoling a woman who has been dumped by her boyfriend.
Once again, Stewie mentions to Brian that he hasn't finished his novel.
The sign outside of the Army recruiters office says "Be All You Can Be. Unless you're gay. Although if you're gay and not too fancy about it, that might be all right."
Brian is shown sweating even though dogs do not sweat.
Stewie kills Verne and Johnny a.k.a. The Vaudeville Guys in this episode. He then says to the camera "Okay they're dead, alright, we're not going to be seeing them again".
Chris: The army sounds awesome! And the recruiter said, with any luck, I could get the clap from a twelve year-old Chinese prostitute.
Peter: Oh, that's great! You'll be serving your country, just like American film legend, Mickey Rooney.
(scene switches to Mickey Rooney in a chair)
Mickey Rooney: Hi, I'm former biggest star in the world Mickey Rooney, and, as you may know, I am totally and completely insane! I like to yell at mice with my shirt off! (a shirtless Rooney kneels by a mouse) Aaah! Aaah! Sometimes, I like to steal other people's scabs! (Rooney steals a man's scab and runs off) Aaah! Aaah! How do I stay so crazy? (lifts up a jar of pills) Mickey Rooney's Crazy Pills! Take one with breakfast, one with lunch, and before you know it, you'll be up on your roof, pooping in the chimney! (switches to Rooney sitting on a chimney, pants down) Hold out your stockings, kids!
Peter: (playing piano and singing) I am Peter Griffin, I like fancy food, I like reading comic books and dressing like a dude! (throws piano) Oh yeah! Rock 'n' roll!
Chris: Hello, James Woods High! I'm Chris, and this is my band, Splash Log! And we are gonna rock this place until about 9:30, cuz that's when the dance is over!
Lois: Chris, I don't like this attitude of yours.
Chris: I don't care what you think of me!
Peter: Oh, I envy that. I am so self-concious about what people think of me.
Stewie: Brian, did you see Revenge of the Sith?
Brian: Yeah, I saw part of it.
Stewie: Why does Emperor Palpatine have a desk?
Stewie: In that scene where Yoda comes in and they're about to have that big fight, Emperor Palpatine clearly gets up from his desk. I'm just saying, what does he...what does he need a desk for?
Brian: Who the hell cares?
Stewie: I'm just saying, it's weird. I mean, like, what was he doing at his desk right before Yoda walked in? What was he doing? Was he doing paperwork? Was he, like, "Uh Yoda, what do you need, and will it take longer than five minutes? I'm absolutely swamped. These requisition forms for new TIE fighters have to be down to Debbie in accounting by six or Nute Gunray is gonna pitch a tent in my waiting room."
Stewie: What are you doing?
Brian: What does it look like? I'm leaving.
Stewie: You can't leave. That's desertion! They'll come after you like Peter came after that hockey coach! (Pause) No clip? Huh. Thought we had a clip.
Peter: Good thing we distracted the guard with that riddle.
Guard: What gets wetter as it dries...a towel. Hey, I've been had!
Sgt Angryman: Where are you from boy?
Sgt. Angryman: There are only two things in Quahog steers and queers and I don't see any antlers. So what does that make you?
Sgt. Angryman: Right!
Stewie: Oh did I get it?
(Stewie and Brian begin kissing in order to get thrown out of the Army)
Stewie: Wow, look at how gay we are! I am so gay with my gayness!
Brian: Me, too! I'm...I'm a homo.
Army Guy: Any room for one more?
Stewie: Hell yeah!
(Brian smacks Stewie)
(Iraqi Guy tells Iraqi Suicide Bomber how to bomb a store.)
Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Ok, I go in store, I throw Back-Pack, Big boom!
Iraqi Guy: No, no, no, you are big boom, big hero!
Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Okay right, so I throw backpack, come back and have big hero party with many virgins!
Iraqi Guy: No no no no no no. You BOOM!
Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Ohh ok ok, I put on backpack, BOOM, then I come back, big hero virgins.
Iraqi Guy: OK yeah, see you in a few minutes big hero.
(Gregory Peck and his kids are riding in the car, his kids look and talk exactly like him)
Son #1: Are we there yet?
Son #2: It's crowded back here!
Son #3: Stop touching me!
Son #2: Your leg is rubbing up against mine!
Gregory Peck: Hey! Quiet down or I'm pulling over.
Son #1: Stop breathing on the window!
Son #2: You idiot! That's condensation, it's on the outside.
Gregory Peck: That's it! I will come back there and so help me god, I will hit you with my ring-hand.
Presenter: And the Grammy, for biggest posse goes to...Ja Rule!
Presenter: No Madonna, posse, posse.
Lois: (opens Chris's closet) What the hell!? Marilyn Manson? Is that who's causing all this?
Peter: Yeah, it's all him or hers fault. Who does he or she think he or she is. Look, you can totally see his or her nipples. That's obscene maybe.
Lois: There's only one thing to do.
Peter: You're right, we've got to find this Marilyn Manson and I've gotta give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.
Sgt. Angryman: Congratulations men, you've all passed basic training. I'm proud to call you soldiers. I'm sure you'll do your country proud tomorrow when you are all shipped off, to Iraq.
Stewie: Oh don't worry, I'm sure he means Fraggle-Iraq.
Sgt. Angryman: My God. You are the sorriest bunch of rejects I've ever seen, and I've seen The Bangles in concert.
Stewie: (after killing the Vaudeville Guys) Okay, they're dead, alright? We're not going to be seeing them again.
(Stewie walks into the recruiters office)
Recruiter: Peggy would you send in the next- oh, you're already here. Say, aren't you a little young to join the Army?
Stewie: No, I have that...um...Webster disease. Hey, is that the M9 double action pistol?
Recruiter: Sure is, standard issue in the Army.
Stewie: Where do I sign?
Recruiter: Right here. Did I mention there's a hundred dollar bonus if you sign up a buddy?
Stewie: Really? Well I think I have a surprise for somebody. (Stewie signs up Brian too)
Lois: Chris, you can't join the army, you're too young. Besides, the Army's weak. Now the Marines, those are the men you wanna (Bleep).
Stewie: Let me ask you this. When was the last time you saw something through to the end?
Brian: Well I uh..
Stewie: NEVER, thats when! You need this Brian. You dropped out of college, you still haven't finished your novel, do you know what you lack? Discipline! You know where you'll get it? Right here in the Army!
Peter: (to his therapist) Every time my daughter opens her mouth, I just wanna' punch her in the face, she's really annoying.
In this episode we see Peter play the piano to a short song he made up. In the episode Wasted Talent Peter could only play the piano if he was drunk, he was not drunk when he was playing it in this episode.
Again, Meg appeared in this episode, but didn't have any speaking lines.
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman
Stewie shouts "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" into the radio. Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman is a 70's era show that was meant to satire soup operas of that time period. The show was produced by Norman Lear.
Missing White Woman Syndrome
The scene where the man is discussing to the media the girl who died in the bus crash, and the media's reaction afterward is a reference to the term missing white woman snydrome (or MWWS for short). MWWS is described as disproportionate media coverage of missing or murdered young white female victims, whereas stories about men or older women or non-white women or other news stories receive less attention. An excellent example of MWWS is the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, the young girl who disappeared in Aruba in 2005.
When Brian is running the obstacle course, the theme from the movie Stripes is playing.
In the scene where Lois and Peter investigate Chris's room, Lois recites a quote by Inspectah Deck from the Wu-tang Clan song "Bring Da Ruckus." The Wu-Tang Clan are a popular hip-hop supergroup from Staten Island, New York.
West Side Story
While the recruits are marching in the woods, they go into a dance. The music is from the song "Mambo" in West Side Story. During the dance the recruits shout, "Mambo!", just like the dancers during the Mambo scene in West Side Story.
The Game Perfection
During the obstacle course Brian is seen playing a game of perfection. Perfection created by Milton Bradley is a puzzle game were the player must fit in odd pieces into the slot before the 30 second timer runs out were the board springs up. This isn't the first time it debut in the show but an old episode were Stewie is getting his trike, Stewie is seen playing perfection but loses!
Army Recruiting Sign
Outside the recruitment center is a sign that reads "Be All That You Can Be; Unless you're gay. Although if you're gay and not too fancy about it, that might be alright." This is an allusion to the policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" introduced by President Clinton, whereby homosexuals continued to be prohibited from military service, but the military was barred from asking if a serviceman or woman was homosexual.
Soccer World Cup 2006
Stewie says that is better than having a telegram from Zinedine Zidane, followed by a scene of him hitting an old lady with his head. In the final of the 2006 Soccer World Cup, there was a famous incident where Zinedine Zidane head butted Marco Materazzi in the chest, causing him to be given a red card and thereby sent off.
Choose Your Own Adventure
Peter is seen reading a Choose Your Own Adventure book. These books are written in the way where the reader becomes the hero, and has to choose different paths to determine the storyline.
Sgt. Angryman forces Brian to listen to a Chris Gaines album. Chris Gaines is the alter-ego of country music superstar Garth Brooks.
An Officer and a Gentleman
Stewie: Oh don't worry, I'm sure he meant Fraggle-Iraq.
This is a reference to the 1980s childrens show Fraggle Rock.
Peter's therapist in this episode is Dr. Katz, from the show Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, a cartoon about the life of Jonathan Katz. Peter asking him why he's shaking is a reference to the Squigglevision technology, which is used to give the cartoons that effect.
Brian confronts Stewie about a punch line that he makes, and states that he got it from The Onion. The Onion is a weekly publication featuring satirical articles on current events.
Full Metal Jacket
The scene when Stewie and Brian just enter boot camp is similar to the boot camp scene in Full Metal Jacket. Also a reference is when Sgt. Angryman finds a half-eaten dead bird in Brian's footlocker, mirroring the scene where Sgt. Hartman finds a jelly donut in Private Pyle's footlocker.
Dogs Playing Poker
Mayor West is shown playing poker with the dogs from Cassius Marcellus Coolidge's Dogs Playing Poker painting.
Saving Private Brian
User Score: 301
User Score: 4614
User Score: 1178
User Score: 678
User Score: 368
User Score: 273
User Score: 261
User Score: 251
User Score: 205
User Score: 167
User Score: 108
User Score: 107
User Score: 100
User Score: 97
User Score: 96
User Score: 91
User Score: 88
User Score: 81
User Score: 80
User Score: 72