Family Guy

Season 5 Episode 1

Stewie Loves Lois

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Sep 10, 2006 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • When Peter rips up the test in front of the teacher it has an 'A' up in the corner where the grade usually is.

    • Stewie makes a big deal about Rupert being torn apart, but in the episode "A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas" he tears it apart himself, not sparing a second thought to it.

    • Peter runs from the hospital with just his pants, but later walks home with his shirt on.

    • For the first time, the evil monkey in Chris's closet shows himself to someone else, but Peter just calls him Meg.

    • Stewie's favorite meal is: Cut Green Beans, Atkins friendly potato sticks arranged in order of size, from large to small, and a Scooby-Doo yogurt with Shaggy's eyes scratched out.

    • When Peter is in the bar after the bathroom scene, he has all his hair back, even after he mutilated it in the bathroom.

    • When Peter was at the Drunken Clam telling Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire about him being "raped," his glass hit the floor and a smashing sound was heard, but then when the camera zoomed out, the glass was in perfect condition.

    • In the very beginning of the episode, the Griffins are on the couch watching tv. If you look very carefully, you can see Chris' hat is completely orange instead of being black and orange.

  • Quotes

    • Tom Tucker: Our top story tonight: A woman loses her sex drive after a $125 dinner at Alfredo's.

    • Peter: Guys, I went to see Dr. Hartman yesterday and he did things to my fanny (Cries)
      Cleavland: Peter it's okay.
      Peter: No it's not okay, you don't know what it's like.
      Cleavland: You're wrong. I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts.
      Peter: He did it to you too?
      Quagmire: I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical slice guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig. With sexual experimentation.
      Joe: You guys are a bunch of queers. (Joe rolls away, but then comes back) And so am I. Oh god, it was horrible. I scrubbed and I scrubbed, but damn it, they don't make water hot enough.

    • Lois: Peter, you look terrible. What happened?
      Peter: I...was...raped.

    • Brian (trying to consol Peter): Hey, Peter, buddy. How about some TV, huh? (Turns it on)
      Announcer: We now return to Freddy Got Fingered.
      Peter: Oh, God. (Changes the channel to see E.T. pointing his glowing finger)
      E.T.: Ouch.
      Peter: Oh, God! (Changes the channel to see a Yellow Pages ad)
      Announcer 2: Yellow Pages: Let your fingers do the walking. (Peter runs upstairs crying and passes Chris with a foam finger on)
      Chris: Are we still going to the baseball game?
      Peter: Get the hell away from me, Chris! (Continues running and crying, pans to see the Evil Monkey, doing his gesture to Peter) Stop it, Meg! (Runs away crying)

    • Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
      Lois: What!?
      Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

    • Stewie: Oh God! Oh it is so hard to find funny women, and you are hilarious...aahw, you're like a female Bonnie Hunt.

    • Peter: (Yelling) What the hell was that?
      Dr. Hartman: Mr. Griffin, that's a prostate exam.
      Peter: (Yelling) Shut up, you had your finger in my ass!

    • Peter: I'm not gonna stand for this. Too many people get away with injustice. Like the folks you meet in those Louisiana swamps.
      (Cut to Kermit playing his banjo in the swamp as in The Muppet Movie. A black man rows by in a rowboat)
      Black man: Excuse me, do you know how to get to town?
      Kermit: (aggressively) Yeah, it's back the way you came. (draws a shotgun and cocks it)

    • Stewie: I'll testify against you, just like I did against Michael Jackson.
      (flashback to courtroom scene)
      Prosecutor: Stewie, did Mr. Jackson behave inappropriately toward you?
      Stewie: Well yes, but the worst part was he never called back.
      (Courtroom erupts in laughter)
      Stewie: No, but in all seriousness yeah, he was actually pretty aggressive.

    • (Peter, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire are in the Drunken Clam)
      Joe: Peter, you're urinating unusually frequently.
      Quagmire: Yeah, what gives?
      Shamus: If its gale force peein ya be doin, it could mean ya got barnacles on yer prostate. Best have sick bay check below yer decks.
      Peter: Wait a minute, are you telling me I need a prostate exam?
      Shamus: Aye, and soon, before your rudder jams with flotsam, and your droppin' anchor without an order from the captain. (pauses) How are you liking all of these nautical puns?
      Joe: Cute.
      Quagmire: Not bad.
      Cleveland: Somewhat entertaining.

    • (Lois is entering the basement holding Stewie)
      Stewie: I have so much fun when we hang out Lois, and I love your hair. We should make up a name for your hair color. We could call it like, like strawberry sunset, or ginger maiden. Or or or one of those hair color names thats a random noun, like temptress.
      (Lois turns on the Washer)
      Stewie: (gasps) Oooh oooh! At some point you have to let me braid it!
      (Lois places Stewie into the washing machine)
      Stewie: Lois, what are you doing!?
      (Lois repeatedly slams the lid on Stewie, and then shuts it)
      Stewie: (muffled) ahhhhhh!
      (Suddenly, Lois wakes up from what was just a bad dream)
      Lois: (Breathing heavily) Oh my god. Oh my god, what's happening to me? I'm like that Texas woman who gave her son brain damage by holding him under water. (gasps) I'm just like Barbara Bush!

    • Peter: My God, we've all been victims of Dr. Hartman's "prostate exam." Well gentlemen, the abuse stops here. I will not turn a brown eye to this. I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No if's, and's, or butt's. I'm gonna be really anal about this.
      (Pauses) Sphincter.

    • Brian: (teasing) Stewie loves Lois.
      Stewie: Brian loves Olympia Dukakis.
      Brian: Oh, yeah I do.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • The Accused

      Peter's "rape" scene on the pinball machine is a reference to a scene from the Jodie Foster movie The Accused.

    • Stewie: I'll testify against you, just like I did against Michael Jackson.

      Referencing the famous pop star Michael Jackson and his child abuse trial.

    • Lord of the Rings

      Shamus: I've also got a map of Middle Earth

      Middle Earth is the fictitious land, where most of the Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien takes place.

    • Star Trek

      Peter: So, can you help me out, Dr. McCoy?
      Dr. McCoy: Forget it. I'm a doctor, not a patsy.

      Dr. Leonard McCoy is another character from the Star Trek universe played by DeForest Kelley. The line "...I'm a doctor, not a ..." became an often parodied expression of his.

    • Brian: He's like a totally different person. Like Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Sulu.

      A reference to "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", the 1886 horror novel by Robert Louis Stevenson, that features Dr Jekyll, who turns into evil Mr. Hyde after using chemicals. The novel has spawned countless movies. However, Mr. Sulu is a character in the Star Trek universe, played by George Takei.

    • Stewie: Brian loves Olympia Dukakis.

      Referencing Olympia Dukakis, the daughter of Greek immigrants, who has starred in many movies. She is also cousin to former presidential candidate Michael Dukakis.

    • The Muppet Movie

      Kermit the Frog is seen in the swamp playing a banjo. This is taken from the opening of The Muppet Movie.

    • Tommy Lee

      When his protestations to Lois that he's dying go ignored, Stewie exclaims, "what is this, a Tommy Lee pool party?" This refers to a 2001 5th birthday party for Tommy Lee's son, at which a 4-year-old guest drowned in the pool.

    • Frampton Comes Alive

      Peter: You know what was a monster? Frampton Comes Alive 1976.

      Frampton Comes Alive is a live album from Peter Frampton. Its one of the best selling live albums of all time, going sextuple platinum.

    • All in the Family

      The episode's end credits, are a parody of the 1970's show All in the Family.

    • Sabado Gigante

      Stewie: Sorry, I fell asleep watching Sabado Gigante last night.

      Sabado Gigante, meaning "Gigantic Saturday" is a popular variety/talk/music/comedy/game show seen on Spanish station Univision, hosted by Don Francisco.