Chris (and various)
Lois (and various)
Meg (season 2+)
Peter / Stewie / Brian / Quagmire / Tom Tucker (and various)
In the scene where Peter visits his third choice of an old girlfriend to "get back" at Lois, on the walls is a lot of photos of Peter. One of the photos is of Peter sitting on a couch, reading the papers. This photo looks like the same shot of Peter from Episode 1 when he "has gas for the first time at 30" during a cutaway.
When Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland come by to pick up Peter so they can go out drinking, Peter jokingly says, "I quit drinking. I think I might be an alcoholic." An alcoholic is a person who drinks a lot of alcohol, so someone who quits drinking cannot be an alcoholic. However, you can quit drinking if you are an alcoholic, so maybe this is the case.
Muriel says that she met Mort through a dating service, but in "The Kiss Seen Around The World", Mort said they had known each other since they were kids.
In one flashback scene, it shows that Stewie's head was not always shaped like a football and it was all an accident. But, in Chitty Chitty Death Bang (see ep.3) it showed Stewie being born with that head. However, though Stewie remembered his birth, he didn't know how he looked, so in the scene(of him being born) he used how he looks right now
(thinking Lois is cheating on him with her old boyfriend)
Peter: I saw you and him the other day, breaking the Fifth Commandment! Congress passes these things for a reason, Lois!
(After Brian gets off the phone)
Brian: The good news is the same company makes a solvent that'll get us unstuck. The bad news is it takes two weeks for delivery.
Stewie: You're telling me that we're stuck like this for a bloody fortnight?
Brian: You can not tell Lois about this.
Stewie: Oh, and what if I do?
Brian: I'll show her those pictures of you wearing her wedding dress.
Stewie: You said there was no film in that camera!
(A policeman pulls over Brian)
Policeman: You were going sixty-five fella, that's ten miles over the- (he notices Brian and Stewie holding hands) Why are you holding that infant's hand?
Stewie: We met on the internet.
Brian: Shut up!
Stewie: Yes, he lured me down to the park with promises of candy and funny stories.
Brian: Officer, you ever hear of that super-industrial adhesive?
(The policeman turns to show another policeman stuck on his back)
Second Policeman: Actually, yes, we have.
Peter: (Tries a free sample of sausage) Mmm, delicious! I will seriously consider purchasing this product! (Peter leaves, a woman tries a sample, then what looks like Peter in a fake nose/glasses walks up)
Fake Nose/Glasses Peter: Ooh, what have we here? May I partake? (Tries some, then leaves. A man tries some, then an Oriental Peter appears)
Oriental Peter: Ah, sausage-san! Plan to buy great amount for samurai buddies!
Vendor: Sir, you don't have to keep moving to the back of the line. You can take as many as you like. They're free!
Oriental Peter: What are you talking about? (Fake Nose/Glasses Peter and Peter walk up behind him)
Fake Nose/Glasses Peter: Hey, can I have some more sausage?
Peter: Yeah, me too!
Girl In Well: Help!
Stewie: It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again.
(Peter is standing in front of a mirror)
Lois: Oh, look at that handsome man!
Peter: (angrily) You son of a bitch! (punches the mirror)
Peter: (while teaching Chris how to hula) No! It's step, hip, step pivot! Are you trying to piss off the volcano?!
Peter: C'mon, let's go drink 'til we can't feel feelings anymore.
Lois: Dear Diary, Kevin is so hot. Today he was raking the yard. God I wish he'd throw me into that pile of leaves.
(Whole family laughs)
Meg: (Walks into the room) Hey what's everyone... Oh my God! You're reading my diary! I hate you all! (Runs away screaming and crying)
Peter: (Opens beer) Keep going!
Peter: (runs towards the movie screen and punching it) Come here, you home-wrecking bastard!
Chris: Don't do it, dad! He's bigger than you!
Quagmire: (thinks to self) God this itches! I wonder who I got it from. Probably that skank that I gave a ride to the gas station. Last time I do someone a favor. Oh God! They heard me! Oh god! I heard me! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Man: There's a little girl stuck in that well. Unfortunately no one's arms are long enough to reach her except for that one guy, but he's helping that woman tickle a midget in a tree.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: (to Peter) You have got to be the most vile, disgusting human being I've ever met... and I have never been more turned on in my life. (kisses Peter)
Lois: (running up to Jennifer Love Hewitt) Hold on, toots! I don't care what our therapist says. I won't stand by and watch my husband lock lips with another woman! Now, beat it!
Jennifer Love Hewitt: What's your problem, Grandma?
Lois: You are! And I only saw Heartbreakers on a plane! (knocks Jennifer down) And the flight was delayed, so the headphones were free!
Peter: (about Lois knocking Jennifer down) Wow! That was cool, Lois.
Lois: Gosh! I guess I finally understand... (gets hit with a chair by Jennifer)
Lois: (pulls Jennifer Love Hewitt's hair, and kicks her) Yeah, you better run, you little bitch! (to Peter) I guess I finally understand how you can get so jealous sometimes. Seeing her kiss you like that just made me crazy. I guess we're just gonna have to learn to control our jealousy together.
(Stewie watches Brian licking himself)
Stewie: UGH!! What the hell do you think you're doing?!
Brian: I'm cleaning myself.
Stewie: You were clean fifteen minutes ago. Now you're just on vacation.
Peter: Ahh. Hey, waiter, that sign in the bathroom about washing your hands, that's only for the staff isn't it?
Waiter: Technically yes, but -
Peter: Great, thanks.
Peter: Hey Lois, can you grab me a beer? Lois?
Chris: Dad, I think she went out.
Peter: Alright then you be Lois.
Peter: Hey Lois, can you get me a be...oh my God, you've really let yourself go!
Chris: Well maybe if you bought me some nice clothes once in a while!
Marriage Counselor: I'd like to put video cameras in every room of your house so that I can observe your uncensored behavior.
Peter: Wow, just like that show Big Brother. Except somebody will be watching.
On the DVD series, it states that Peter dates Gwyneth Paltrow and not Jennifer Love Hewitt.
The marriage counselor wanted to put cameras in the Griffin's house. This already happened in the episode "Fifteen Minutes of Shame".
This is an allusion to Costco, a wholesale supermarket that sells everything in bulk or oversized packages.
Peppermint Patty and Marci are characters from Charles Schultz' popular comic strip "Peanuts" and the "Charlie Brown" cartoons. Many believe them to be gay.
Peter: Wow, just like that show Big Brother. Except someone will be watching.
Big Brother is a reality series on CBS.
Peter: Some of this stuff, you wonder who would ever need it in bulk. I mean, like watermelons...
Right after Peter says this line, Gallagher walks up and puts a 12 pack of watermelons in his shopping cart. Gallagher is a stand-up comedian who is famous for his sledge-o-matic, a big sledge hammer that he smashes watermelons with.
Raiders of the Lost Ark
When Peter is looking for his "little black book," the staff that he holds up to the sun is identical to the Staff of Ra which Indiana Jones uses in the map room of "Raiders of the Lost Ark."
Silence of the Lambs
Stewie: It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...
The serial killer Buffalo Bill in the movie Silence of the Lambs says this to the senator's daughter who is being held prisoner by him in a well in the basement of his house.
Stewie: We could watch Rita Rudner do a 5 minute routine.
Rita Rudner is a stand-up comedian known to tell very long routines.
BadGuys: Let's go bug Q-Bert
Pacman is one of the first video games. Q-Bert is also an early game
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