Chris (and various)
Lois (and various)
Meg (season 2+)
Peter / Stewie / Brian / Quagmire / Tom Tucker (and various)
The Griffins are shown in Purgatory saying "not that good, not that bad". Purgatory is a horrific place, used to cleanse souls for their entrance into heaven. The Griffins would actually be in Limbo, the place reserved for "righteous pagans and children who have died before baptism", where there is no torment but pleasure is withheld.
The sign in front of the rehab clinic reads:
Providence Rehab Clinic
Because, dude, it's time.
On the newspaper that shows Brian in his ticker tape parade, a headline reads "Scientist Mystified By Paper Rain."
The doctor that is in charge of Brian while in rehab looks an awfully like Miss Ironbachs from the episode I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar.
This episode is the only time, in the original 3 seasons, where they had to officially beep-out the f-word. Other times it was said, it was written into the script to be obscured by some other sound effect.
At the rehab clinic, Peter's 6-pack of beer has eight cans in it the first time we see it. The second time, however, it has only six cans.
When Joe and Brian are fighting midgets in the Sunday School, a poster on the wall depicts Jesus in gangster garb with a headline "It's Cool To Love Jesus."
Rehab Counselor: Wait a minute, Brian, you have a pre-existing relationship with this degenerate?
Peter: A degenerate, am I? Well, you are a festisio! See? I can make up words too, sister.
Brian: So I see you got a new receptionist. Nice little body on her, huh?
Therapist: That's my daughter.
Brian: Well, we could probably call this an early day, huh?
Greased Up Deaf Guy: You're never gonna catch me! You're wasting your time!
Lois: So... how was your day?
Brian: [on drugs] My Day? Un-freaking- believable! First we nailed this bastard who had the gall to hide his stuff in his daughter's doll! Her doll for god's sake! [takes a puff of his cigarette and exhales] Where's the line anymore? Well I got news for you... It's it's not even on the radar screen! The days of decency and virtue are gone honey, BAM! It freaking evaporated like a dingy, stinky mud puddle! One day you... you see your reflection in it, and the next day it's a... it's a damn oil spot on your crack driveway staring back at you, mocking you... Blah Blah Blah! Knowing the perverted truth will rot in the pit of your soul! That's how my freaking day was!
[Everyone at the Table stares at him]
Joe: Say hello to our newest narc.
Quagmire: Oh, yeah? (to Brian) How good are you?
Brian: (Sniffs) You're back from Manila. You had lumpia for dinner. Then you made love to two Filipino women. (Sniffs) And a man.
Quagmire: You mean three Filipino women. (Brian stares blankly) NOOOOO!!
(The family is sitting in the kitchen)
Lois: So, Peter, where shall we go for your week off?
Peter: Well, I... I was thinking we could all go to Purgatory like we did last year!
(It switches to the Griffins floating in front of a plain white background)
Lois: This isn't bad... it's not that good, but y'know... it's not that bad.
Brian: It's so-so.
Peter: Yeah... more or less...
Rehab Counselor: I'll be keeping my eye on you. What's your name?
Peter: Uhh..uhh..my name? Uh..uh..uhh..uhh [sees a pea on a plate] P..uhh..uhh [sees girl crying] tear..uh..uhh [sees a griffin flying through the room] Griffin. Yeah, yeah, Peter Griffin. Oh, crap.
Stewie: (As Brian breaks down, crying) Well, now we know what kind of dog he is: A melon-collie! (Laughs weakly) No, no, I meant: Chi-wa-wa! (Pause) I don't have to #bleep#-ing impress you!
(Later, outside the rehab clinic)
Lois: Good luck, Brian. I just know you're gonna get clean.
Peter: Well, it shouldn't be too hard to get clean with all these mineral baths and saunas!
(Everyone but Stewie laughs)
Stewie: Oh, I get it. The fat man cracks a funny and everyone wets themselves. I give you gold and I get squat! I'll be in the car.
(The cops are congratulating Brian)
Joe: Nice work, rookie!
Cop#1: You're a credit to the force!
Cop#2: Additional generic cop compliment, Brian!
Peter: I'm NOT being insensitive, Lois. I just don't see why we have to cancel our vacation, just because the dog's a coke-fiend.
(Brian walks in the door)
Stewie: Oh, Splendid!, Fido Mc Coke-fiend is home.
(To the police force)
Brian: The real hero here is God: for blessing me with this nose, and a few other amazing appendages!
Chris: Hey dad, I heard if you use tanning beds, you can get something called 'Melanoma'.
Peter: Oh, Chris, that's just fancy-talk for Sexified!
Peter: What do you think they put in the bug juice?
Peter: No, they don't! Come on! Shut up!
Brian: (wasted) Sorry to be tardy to the party.
(Brian has discovered Peter at the clinic)
Brian: What are you doing here?
Peter: I'm on vacation. Oh, and if anyone asks, I'm also on smack.
Rehab Counselor: I don't think you're an addict, I think you're an idiot.
Peter: Yeah, well I don't pay you to think,hot lips, in fact, I don't pay you at all...Count it!
Peter: Brian, it's moments like this that make me sad you're gonna die fifty years before I do.
Meg: Wow, Brian! Have you lost weight? You gotta tell me your secret!
Brian: Here's a hint: Put down the fork! (pushes his hand out) FACE!
Brian: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up.
Cut for time, Gerald the Happy and Abstinent Police Clown originally sang a song about Gonorrhea (a.k.a. The Clap) sung to the tune of If you're happy and you know it.
The writers originally wrote this episode to be a season finale, which is why it ends in "to be continued..." However, because of the constant scheduling changes by FOX, it never happened.
The opening credits has the line "Laugh and Cry" rerecorded so people don't keep thinking it's "Eff'n Cry"
Brian refers to Lois as a Stepford Wife, referencing the novel about a town filled with synthetic submissive wives.
Don't Move, Dirtbag!
This line is taken from the Police Academy movie.
The music played when Brian catches his first drug dealer is taken from this iconic cop show starring Erik Estrada.
The Thin White Line
The title of this episode is an allusion to the 1998 film "The Thin Red Line", an adaptation of James Jones' autobiographical 1962 novel, focusing on the conflict at Guadalcanal during the second World War.
Peter as George Harrison's security guard:
We see Peter not noticing a intruder breaking onto George Harrison's property. In 1999, Michael Abram snuck passed George Harrison's home security and stabbed him multiple times.
Rocky: And now, here's something we hope you're really like.
Rocky from 1960's cartoon The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show says this line. The cartoon is also referenced by Peter mistakenly pulling a lion out of the time machine, as Bullwinkle used to pull a lion from a magician's hat.
The Late Show With David Letterman
Peter: I miss the good old days when you were my sidekick.
The scene that follows is a reference to David Lettermen and Paul Schaffer, from the late night talk show The Late Show With David Letterman
Toucan Sam: Follow your nose...follow your nose...
Toucan Sam was in commercials for Fruit Loops, and that line was always in the commercials.
Brian: Ok, they're in the woods...the camera keeps on moving...uh, I think they're looking for some witch or something...etc
When Brian is acting as a seeing eye dog, he takes a blind guy to a movie and explains what's going on. The movie he's explaining is the Blair Witch Project, a 1999 fictional "documentary" horror movie in which three kids go into the forest while filming a documentary about the legend of the Blair Witch. The movie was preceded by a lot of hype and it ended up being very successful, but a lot of people were disappointed by its unusual reality-TV-esque style.
Charles In Charge
Peter: Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights....
Peter sings along to the original theme song of the 80's television show Charles in Charge.
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