Family Matters

Steve: State your name. Waldo: Illinois. Steve: No, Waldo. State your name, not name your state. Waldo: Ohhhhh. Waldo Faldo... from Illinois.

Carl: It was just a stupid bug!

Carl: (talking about the bug) Did you see the size of that thing? Mother Winslow: I bet that's what the bug was thinking, too!

Judge: Well, I have, uh, considered this case carefully and I have reached a decision. Steve: Uh, never mind, Your Honor. Judge: Never mind? Carl: Uh, we, uh, we settled it ourselves. Steve: Mmmhmm. Judge: What? But, I'm the judge. It's what I do! I judge things! Well, would you at least like to hear what I would have said? Carl: Nope. Steve: No. Not really. It's not even necessary.

Judge: Alright, young man, call your first witness. Steve: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! Waldo: Okay, but I'm not home.

(After having stepped on Steve's bug) Carl: Who is Pablo? Steve: (pointing to the floor) Him. And him. And… OOHHH, and him!

Eddie: That thing is so ugly. Steve: Shhh. Pablo's bilingual. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life.

Steve: Hold on to your briefs, mama! I've inherited the wind!

Carl (referring to Urkel's rare praying mantis): It was just a stupid bug!