Family Matters

Season 3 Episode 17

Food, Lies and Videotape

Aired Unknown Feb 07, 1992 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • Waldo claims that after he made some bread and some stuffing, he "got [him]self a gobbler." But even if he had the entire class period for the turkey alone, he still would've had no hope of finishing it; it takes hours to roast a turkey.

  • Quotes

    • Miss Steuben: I'm quitting, Steve.
      Steve: Oh, bite your tongue, Miss Steuben.
      Miss Steuben: I did that already when I slipped.

    • Steve: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. Why, you teach us things about life!
      Ms. Steuben: Oh, you really think so?
      Steve: Look, I know the pay is lousy, the hours are long, and you hardly ever get the credit you deserve. But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one.

    • Steve: Ms. Steuben, listen! You taught Laura to slow down and stop taking shortcuts. And you taught Cathy Lynn Nubbles, the poster girl for useless people, what it's like to do things for herself.

    • Steve: You're a wonderful teacher.
      Ms. Steuben: No, I'm a nervous teacher! I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking!

    • (after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room)
      Steve: Ms. Steuben…I told the janitor about our little problem here.
      Ms. Steuben: Is he coming?
      Steve: Uh…no. He opted for early retirement.

    • Ms. Steuben: Listen, now, you tried as hard as you could and I'm gonna be generous and give you a C.
      Steve: A what? A what?
      Ms. Steuben: A C. A C!
      Steve: But… but, I never… I never got less than… than an A.
      Ms. Steuben: So?
      Steve: So, I can't live with that! Why, it'll ruin my transcript.
      Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven.
      Steve: I can't. I can't! Oh, the room is spinning. Oh, yes it is! I… I'm getting dizzy. Oh, my God! I feel stupid!

    • Ms. Steuben: I'm going to give you an A.
      Waldo: (Pause) Wow! Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? I wanna take it home and read it to my mom.

    • Ms. Steuben: Waldo! What a turkey!
      Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names!

    • Ms. Steuben: Alright, class. This semester we're…. Steven, you'd better get going. You're late for class.
      Steve: Oh, no I'm not. I'm in this class.
      Ms. Steuben: That's…that's not funny, Steven.
      Steve: Oh, I'm not joking. So, what's cookin', good lookin'? (laughs)
      Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us…just a minute. (Pulls Steve to other side of room) Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semester and you told me HOME EC!
      Steve: Well, yes, I did.
      Ms. Steuben: But…here you are. It's not fair.

    • Carl: This baby has a remote. I'll be in all the videos.
      Estelle: Then you'll need a wide-angle lens.

    • Harriette: Laura! This oven is on 550.
      Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. So, I figured if I doubled the temperature, I could cook it in half the time.
      Steve: (Cracks up) Oh, that's rich! That's one for the books! Ohh! How could a girl so smart do something so…so…. So long!

    • Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke?
      Steve: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. A small gastronomic goof up. A minor Betty Crocker boo boo.
      Harriette: Laura, translate.

    • (After putting out Laura's oven fire)
      Steve: You're safe now, Missi.
      Laura: Thank you, Steve. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that.
      Steve: Oh, I understand.
      Laura: You did good.
      Steve: You love me, don't you?

    • (On the phone)
      Laura: Steve, I can't talk now. I'm cooking breakfast. No, you're not invited. It's just for the family. … Steve… stop begging.

  • Notes

  • Allusions