Judy: A CD player! Look out! I'm musically armed and dangerous!
Eddie: Whoa! Check out my new boom box! (laughs)
Carl: Hey. Please tell me we got 'em headphones, too.
Carl: Thank God.
Carl: (after Rachel tells him that Richie wants nothing but a Freddy Teddy for Christmas) So, what is it? You need some money, Rachel? Is, uh, Fuddy Duddy expensive?
Rachel: Freddy Teddy. No. It's not that. It's just that I've been to every toy store in town, and they're all sold out.
Rachel: You know, the toy companies do that on purpose. See, they deliberately create a shortage, which increases demand, which shoots up their profits!
Rachel: You know, they don't give a HOOT about the customer! It's just money! Money! Money! I tell ya, it just burns my boots.
Rachel: Y'know what? I'm'a call my congressman. N-n-no! I'm'a call the senator! Oh, forget that! I'm callin' the PRESIDENT!
Carl: I'll call Al Mushman.
Rachel: Oh, who?
Carl: Al Mushman. Our equipment supply officer. He can find anything. If there's a "Fonky Franky" within 500 square miles...
Rachel: Freddy... Teddy.
Carl: Whatever. Mushman will know where it is.
Estelle: Is Al Mushman cute?
Carl: I guess.
Estelle: Is he single?
Estelle: And he can find anything?
Carl: Right, Mama.
Estelle: Then tell him he can find me here tonight at 8:00.
Steve: I'm spending Christmas with my Uncle Cecil.
Carl: I thought your Uncle Cecil was busted for operating an unlicensed hot-tub club.
Steve: He beat that rap. He had a Polaroid of the judge tickling the baliff with a rubber ducky.
Eddie: Steve, you shouldn't have told Richie that Santa was going to bring him a Freddy Teddy.
Steve: Well why the Sam Hill not?
Laura: Because Aunt Rachel's having a hard time finding one.
Steve: Well, why's she even bothering? That's Santa's job.
Richie: Hey, Steve, I'm gonna ask Santa for a teddy bear.
Steve: Well, were you a good boy this year?
Richie: Well, I had a pretty good August.
The German episode title is "Urkels größter Wunsch", meaning "Urkel's Giant Wish".
Music: "Winter Wonderland" performed by Reginald VelJohnson, JoMarie Payton, Rosetta LeNoire, Darius McCrary, Kellie Shanygne Williams, Jaimee Foxworth, Bryton McClure, and Telma Hopkins; "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" performed by Jaleel White
The title of this episode is a play on the holiday song, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas".
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