Family Matters

Laura: Steve, you were right anything is possible! Steve: Will you marry me? Laura: Except that.

Cassie Lynn: Oh, and you think you're so hip, you little geek? Laura: No, I just thought we could try somthing new. (cold smile) And if you ever call me "geek" again, you'll be digesting those pom poms.

Coach: What's your name? Steve: Urkel, sir. Steven Q. Coach: What kind of name is Urkelsir Stevencue? Dutch? Steve: Uh... yeah.

Coach: Look, kid. You're not a basketball player. Steve: Why not? Coach: In short... you're short.

Coach: Now, I ask you... what is a "Muskrat"? Steve: A large, aquatic rodent! Coach: Well, yeah. But what is a VANDERBILT Muskrat? Steve: A physically overdeveloped, mentally deficient high school student!

(Mother Winslow is reading a Victoria's Secret catalog) Laura: Am I old enough to see that? Mother Winslow: I don't think I'm old enough to see that.

Carl: I'm always happy to donate to charity. Richie: Well, it's not exactly charity. Carl: Oh? Then what's the good cause? Richie: It's "cause" I need a new bike.

Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. Carl: What? We've got cheerleaders taller than him.

Steve: I've never tried out for athletics before, and the equipment list says every guy should wear a cup. Coach: That's right. Steve: Well, I didn't have one. So, is it alright with you? I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug.

Steve: I've got an uncle, Dirk Urkel, who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged 8½ blocks.

Eddie: As a starting forward on the school team, it's my duty to play round ball, not nerd ball. Steve: But I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. And since no one with play with me, I have to say so myself.

Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? Steve: Sorry, it's your turn!