Computer Steve: 7 minutes left. You're about to be exposed to 3,000,000,000 rads of deadly radiation. But look on the bright side: Soon you'll be your own night light. (laughs and snorts)
Steve: You said you wanted something KILLER, a sure-fire A, and I gave it to you, an A-Bomb.
Carl: See what your daughter did?
Harriette: Oh, sure, she makes the honor roll, she's your daughter; she blows up the world, she's my daughter.
Carl: Laura, you're grounded for... how much time is left?
Laura: Five minutes.
Carl: For five minutes.
Harriette: Go up to your room and stay there until you're blown out of it.
(Steve just built an atomic bomb)
Steve: I knew you'd be thrilled.
Laura: This is just a model, right? It can't explode or anything?
Steve: Why, of course it can! I love ya too much to build you a dud!
Laura: But… but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff?
Steve: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon—Colonel Dirk Urkel!
Laura: There's an Urkel in our defense department?
Carl: What's wrong, honey?
Laura: Science class. I'm in big trouble! I may get a B.
Carl: I got a B once. I framed it.
Laura: Dad, this is serious. I can't afford to get a B on my permanent record. From now on, no parties and no TV. In fact, I'm grounded.
Laura: Don't argue. Someday, I'll thank myself for this.
(Steve accidentally set off his A-bomb)
Steve: Don't panic, my love! If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement.
Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you!
Steve: Good point… PANIC!
Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. And I'm sorry.
Steve: So, you used me! You trifled with my emotions! I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat!
Steve: No biggie!
The script for this episode is dated October 17th, 1990. Episode was most likely videotaped on Friday, October 19th, 1990.
The German episode title is "Alptraum mit Urkel", meaning "Nightmare with Urkel".
Music: "That's Life" performed by Reginald VelJohnson, JoMarie Payton, and Rosetta LeNoire
The Steve Urkel on the bomb's computer monitor that spoke with a shuttering voice was a reference to the British sci-fi short series Max Headroom, in which the entitled character spoke in a similar distorted manner.