Crackers Don't Matter

Season 2, Episode 4, Aired

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The crew returns from a commerce planet with a load of crackers and a meek alien called T'raltixx, who promises he can alter Moya's electromagnetic profile in order to make her untraceable. Crichton is skeptical; it seems too good to be true. As they pass through a constellation of pulsars, an intense paranoia affects the crew, turning them violently again each other. Crichton must fight against his own paranoid delusions to work out what T'raltixx is actually doing -- and how to stop him.moreless
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Fan Episode Reviews (6)

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  • One of the best episodes...

    9.9
    "Superb"
    By farscapefanuk, Mar 12, 2007
    What a great episode. I really enjoyed this episode for a number of reasons one being the amusing storyline but also because i thought that through the events of this episode we really begin to see the major charators bonding. This episode featured every chactor and envolved them with something. I think that more episodes need to be written like this. The story was simple but the charactor interaction was strong and well written, this will undoubtably remain in my mind as one of the best episodes of Farscape so far. This season is turing out to be great, we can only hope that the episodes stay at such a high quality.moreless

  • Most hilarious episode of Farscape ever!

    10
    "Perfect"
    By TheDContinuum, Feb 21, 2007
    "Crackers" is undoubtedly the finest combination of pop culture, Crichtonisms, and utter hilarity of the entire series. Though debatably the best episode of them all, it is undeniably the funniest. It is also a crucial episode in which the first substantial hint of the Scorpy clone present in John's brain. "I've got great eyes...they can see better than 20/20, and they're blue."

  • I'm crazy, you're crazy, we're all crazy. In space.

    9.9
    "Superb"
    By SleepTight, Jun 18, 2006
    Once again, Farscape did it.
    With ridiculous beginning, and some not so convincing lines. 'Crackers Don't Matter' beginning as a failing episode and ending as a completely hilarious and excellent one is a big achievement.

    The uniqueness of this episode is very rare. It begins on Moya, the crew members are acting a little touchy, especially Crichton. There is also someone on there who says that they will all change a bit when they go into a place but after that they will go back to normal.

    Soon, fights begin. While Zhaan annoys everyone, Aeryn and Chiana fight. Soon Crichton and D'Argo join the fight.

    The first fights are all over some crackers. Chiana is eating a lot of them and so is Rygel. D'Argo gets upset with Rygel and attacks him and makes him almost choke on them.

    Soon they go their own way, while Zhaan acts around like a stoned blue-junkie. D'Argo and Chiana work together and think that Crichton and the others want to kill them. Meanwhile Aeryn and Rygel take their own way and want to take over Moya. Pilot is also changing, he is mostly just putting down Crichton and making sure he realise how useless he is.

    Then soon Crichton who was holding everything right gets completely nuts as well, he begins to see Scorpius around who tells him to kill his friends. First he shoots D'Argo and then he attacks Chiana and wants to rape her. Then he goes to Aeryn and they tell each other what they really think of each other and shoot some more. But then Crichton realised it's all crazy and he shoots Scorpius in his mind which head falls into a lot of more heads. Great scene.

    But then Crichton gets pissed off and he captured all of his friends. He shoots some crackers on them and makes sure they get the point that they are loosing it. He wants to stop the real bad guy who is hiding somewhere and making Pilot give him light. They don't want him to do it but eventually dress him up, he looked ridiculous but hilarious. So he goes and begins to destroy the alien's place and then kills it. Crichton is then finally freed and so is the rest.

    I loved how ashamed they all were and how they apologized. Lucky Zhaan who didn't remember anything.

    The episode was excellent, Crichton looked so ridiculously funny. The acting was very strong and the episode was very well reconstructed. Beginning in a lame way and ending up so powerfully.
    'Cracker's Don't Matter' is another Farscape success.
    moreless

  • the crew has very little time to get supplies with wanted posters of them up so all they can get are crackers and an alien who starts a process that makes them all start going mad so that he can destroy the universe. Pritty normal day for our herosmoreless

    10
    "Perfect"
    By Max42, Feb 21, 2006
    I love this episode. Everyone is loosing their minds and acting irrational and the only one vagly keeping their head on is John who has Scorpous's nero clone talking him saying things like we'll have pizza's and margarita shooters.

    this also has them shooting at each other and John finaly gets them all together-by force and explains to them why crackers don't matter

    all in all this is a good episode and a reason i love this seriesmoreless

  • Very impressive acting from all cast members with some impressive surprises

    10
    "Perfect"
    By Ranlier, Feb 12, 2006
    In addition to great acting from everybody (especially Ben Browder, who\'s really been having a ball since \"Mind the Baby\", I loved the extended history of the characters shown. The good, the bad, and the ugly all come out.

    Of course, the best part was Scorpius in a hawaiian shirt, but that's just me.
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  • TRIVIA (4)

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    • The Scorpius Clone makes its first attempt to use the desire for revenge as a means to get Crichton to do as he wishes; this campaign will later come full circle in the third season episode "Revenging Angel".

    • Though at first it seems as though Crichton seeing Scorpius is just a hallucination, it in fact marks the first appearance of the neural clone, implanted in Crichton's head by Scorpius and a crucial part of the story as the season continues.

    • It is unknown why T'raltixx needed the light exactly. Somehow, the light boosted his powers, and it had something to do with the light being produced by a leviathan as opposed to conventional methods. T'raltixx said that his people would find another leviathan to make their light and that this would allow them to rise from their dormancy and sweep the galaxy like a plague.

    • Nitpick: When Chiana was describing how much food they had managed to acquire at the commerce planet she explained that they had enough crackers for "a thousand years", however Crichton is generally the only one to use the term "years", everyone else on the crew regularly uses the term "cycles".

  • QUOTES (26)

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    • Chiana: (referring to Scorpius' beacon) She won't show me the message! There's a hidden message on there, and she won't show it to me! Aeryn: She's out of her frelling mind! There's nothing on there! Crichton: Show her the message. Aeryn: What?! Crichton: Show her the message. If there's nothing secret on the beacon, then show her the message and she can get the hell out of here. Chiana: Wait a minute, why do you want me to watch it? What's on there you want me to see?!

    • Chiana: (when Crichton says he has great eyesight) Okay, so, can you read the symbols on the basin over there? Crichton: There's nothing there! Rygel: (reading) Warning... D'Argo: ...don't flush corrosives... Aeryn: ...down the waste tunnel.

    • Aeryn: Unless you're planning on pulling the trigger, never point a gun at me again. Crichton: I was making a point. Aeryn: So was I.

    • Pilot: I'm only judging on my experience with you, but I've never seen such a deficient species. You have no special abilities. You're not particularly smart, can hardly smell, can barely see, and you're not even vaguely physically or spiritually imposing. Is there anything you do well? Crichton: Watch football.

    • Crichton: Does this strike any of you superior beings as a little bit ironic? Chiana: Why? Crichton: I'm the deficient one, and I'm still saving your butts.

    • Rygel: Shut up! I don't need a grunt to give me a military assault lecture. I wrote military assault lectures! Aeryn: You? The only thing you've ever assaulted was a plate of food cubes. Now shut up.

    • Aeryn: Got a bit of a problem, Commander? Because now you've got one more. The only way you're going to get my weapon is if I'm dead. (Aeryn holds her gun to her head.) Crichton: Look at what you're doing. Look. Aeryn: (laughing) Yes, you're right. You're so right. He's absolutely right. The power setting's too low! (She starts shooting at Crichton) Thank you! So much better! Crichton: You missed!

    • (To D'Argo after finishing talking to the Scorpius hallucination) Crichton: What...? Am I being... irrational!? Oh well, have a little pain... (Crichton shoots D'Argo in the leg)

    • Crichton: I'm not deficient, I'm SUPERIOR! Humans are superior!

    • Rygel: I never run away! I strategically maneuver!

    • Crichton: I got great eyes! They're better than twenty-twenty and they're blue!

    • Crichton: They don't get it, Scorpy. They don't get how crazy they are. Scorpius: You're right, John, they don't get it. They don't get how crazy they are. Because... 'cause they stole the crackers.

    • Crichton: I don't care about crackers! Rygel: We do! We want food! Crichton: Is that what this is all about? Is that it? Okay. Then where's my ice cream? Aeryn: What? Crichton: Where's my ice cream? Rygel: Savage, I know almost every food in the galaxy- Crichton: WHERE'S MY DAMN ICE CREAM? Rygel: I have no idea what izes creme is.

    • Crichton: (to T'raltixx) Ionic radiation gives them photogasms, unless she's faking it, they can do that you know--hey, Zhaan, you faking it? Zhaan: (giggling) No....

    • Crichton: (to T'raltixx about Rygel) That guy eats and craps his own body weight twice a day.

    • Crichton: Anybody feel anything? D'Argo: Nope. Rygel: No. Zhaan: (blissing out with a photogasm) I do. I feel good- the light... Crichton & D'Argo: Oh, great!

    • Crichton: (to Pilot) Do I look stupid to you? No, please, don't answer that question.

    • Pilot: How is your module? Crichton: Checked out fine, I checked out fine. Pilot: While vaguely concerned about you, I'm much more interested in how this will affect Moya.

    • Scorpius Hallucination: Kill her. Then we'll have pizza and margarita shooters. Go on, John, do it, do it!
      Crichton: No one has margaritas with pizza!

    • Crichton: What the hell is this? Zhaan: Heat-deflecting paste. You'll burn up in there without it. Crichton: It smells like puke. Zhaan: I pre-digested it to increase its potency. Crichton: It's puke!?

    • Scorpius: (about Crichton aiming at D'Argo) Go on John, do it! Then we can go to the beach... I know a place with naked Sebacean women and margarita shooters!

    • Scorpius: Revenge is a dish best served cold, and you like revenge, don't you? Crichton: Shut up! I hate when villains quote Shakespeare!

    • Pilot: Is something the matter Crichton? Crichton: It's that damn Peacekeeper bitch. She's barricaded herself in command; I think she's trying to take over the ship.

    • Aeryn: Next time you'll be a crouton, Crichton!

    • Pilot: (about Zhaan) She's a plant. Put her in the light, watch her smile.

    • Crichton: Zhaan, where are you? Zhaan: I'm up in the maintenance bay John, about to have a fight with Aeryn.

  • NOTES (4)

    ADD NOTES

    • A new Rygel puppet was used in this episode and was almost broken immediately during the cracker force-feeding scene.

    • Danny Adcock (T'raltixx) had to look through a series of mirrors in order to see out of his costume's facial prosthetics.

    • Ben Browder added Crichton humming "The Ride of the Valkyries" while looping the episode's dialogue.

    • International Air Dates: -This episode aired in Canada on December 30, 2001 on A-Channel (CIVI). -This episode aired in the UK on July 17, 2000 on BBC-2. -This episode aired in Australia on December 10, 2001 on Nine.

  • ALLUSIONS (11)

    ADD ALLUSIONS

    • Crichton: Try it, Medusa, try it. In Greek mythology, Medusa was a gorgon, a chthonic female monster. Gazing upon her would turn onlookers to stone.

    • Crichton: I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. Baskin Robbins, Ben & Jerry's, Good Humor. What's your favorite? Creamsicle or fudgsicle? "I scream..." is a favorite kids' rhyme. Baskin Robbins and Ben & Jerry's are two of the more popular brands of ice cream. Good Humor is a old time ice cream company now owned by Breyer's that created a number of ice cream novelties, known as Good Humor Bars sold by trucks that would travel through neighborhoods.

    • D'Argo: What's going on in here? Crichton: Go back to your mountain, Grizzly. You're not wanted here. A reference to the huge "mountain man" Grizzly Adams, played by Dan Haggerty, first in a 1975 film, The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams, and then a 1977 TV series.

    • Crichton: Bingo! Give Brainiac the fluffy doll. Brainiac is a comic book super-genius villain who is one of Superman's primary nemeses.

    • Crichton: Oh, great, so he's like one of those mechanics on 60 Minutes who says he's gonna help, and then he screws us. 60 Minutes is the notable news magazine show that's been airing on CBS since 1968, and which excels at investigative reportage.

    • Crichton: (referring to T'raltixx) Barring the Yoda factor, if he gives us any trouble, we lock him up. This is a reference to the Star Wars movies, which has a seemingly harmless looking alien named Yoda as a master warrior.

    • Crichton: Today's assignment is... anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? A brand new car! This is a reference to the exceedingly popular daytime game show The Price Is Right, where the surprise prize was often a car.

    • Crichton: ...I've been seeing Scorpius like he's guest starring on Hawaii Five-O, how crazy is that? Hawaii Five-O was a police drama-type show during the late seventies to early eighties set in, as one can imagine, Hawaii.

    • Crichton: Heeeere's Johnny! This is a line verbatim, from the The Shining, the movie version of the hit horror novel by Steven King. It is also the introduction of Johnny Carson by Ed McMahon on The Tonight Show.

    • Crichton: Gilligan and Mary-Anne; maybe you're Ginger, I'd have to see you in a wonder bra to know--where you takin' the Minnow? Gilligan, Mary-Anne and Ginger were three of the seven castaways on the television classic Gilligan's Island.

    • Pilot: I'm sorry, John. I can not do that. This is a paraphrase of the line spoken by the computer HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

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