Farscape Season 5 Episode 1

Rygel: (when asked to perform the wedding ceremony) Carry their baby. Marry them off. What next? Let them move in? (sighs, then sees that they're annoyed) What?
Crichton: You know, forget about it. This is all wrong.
Aeryn: Stop! (she points her pulse pistol at Rygel) YOU, are ruining my wedding!
Crichton: Honey...
Aeryn: What?
Crichton: You're pointing a gun at the baby. (Aeryn considers this, and reluctantly re-holsters her weapon)

Stark: (after learning that their hosts are Eidolons) D'Argo, D'Argo, a miracle! Eidelons, Jool, Arnessk, peace! (D'Argo tongues him to stop his raving)
D'Argo: (to Noranti) Okay, what's he talking about?
Noranti: Eidelons, Jool, Arnessk, peace!
D'Argo: (rolling his eyes) Thank you.

Maryk: Where the Hezmana in my orders did you find the phrase 'preemptive attack'?!
Scorpius: The Scarrans are massing for an impending onslaught we all know is coming! A conflict we are ill situated to win. By challenging them before they are prepared, we have a fighting chance.
Maryk: You were sent to gather surveillance...
Scorpius: With all due respect, sir, I was sent here to perish at the vanguard of this inevitable conflict. I simply refuse to participate on their terms, or yours!

Rygel: So often I've proclaimed having a belly full of Crichton and Aeryn. Never thought it would be so literal!

Crichton: (as Aeryn walks down the aisle in a dress and a flower in her hair) You look great.
Aeryn: You owe me.
Crichton: I know it.

Crichton: I have to protect the people I love. And you owe me for putting that crap in my head.
Einstein: It may soon be prudent to remove it.
Crichton: Amen. I wanna be blonde again.

(Aeryn and Crichton are uncrystallized, surrounded by armed aliens)
Crichton: (referring to his proposal to Aeryn) You said yes!
Aeryn: I did?
Crichton: Sixty days, any regrets?
Aeryn: No, it's going really well.

Aeryn: In the temple you said, 'Peacekeepers do your duty'. What did you mean?
Yondalao: I had forgotten that you had forgotten. At the dawn of our period of usefulness, 2700 cycles ago, we developed need of a guard, a race no one had quarrel with, a force to ensure harmony prevail once negotiations had finished.
Aeryn: Peacekeepers.
Yondalao: Apparently your forebears attempted to carry on once we vanished. However, lacking our mediation abilities, they kept the peace the only way they could: at the muzzle of a weapon.
Aeryn: And that's why they're hated.
Yondalao: It wasn't such at the beginning. We took great care to choose a species no one had met before. We found your kind primitive, barely clothed, far removed on the galaxy's outer spiral. Having brought some of you back, your evolution was accelerated with generous alterations, until you became our trusted acolytes.

Aeryn: (voice over in opening scene) You did it, John. All the fighting has stopped. There's no more dying. And all of a sudden, three is not such a scary number. But no matter how wonderful this is, I will not accept it... as a trade-off... for losing you.

Rygel: (As Jool is trying to make out with Crichton) Get your own fantasy, Driblox. They're having MY baby.
Jool: Baby?!

(Hearing shots, Aeryn contacts Crichton over their comms)
Aeryn: Who's taking fire?
Crichton: Huh. Who isn't?
Aeryn: Are you all right?
Crichton: Well, other than being shot at by The Electric Mayhem... I'm fantastic!

War Minister Akhna: I promise you, you will never be re-united with your baby.
Aeryn: I'm sure your mother wished for the same thing.

Scorpius: So, how have you been, Crichton?
Crichton: I'm good, Bob. You? The wife? The kids?
Scorpius: Busy.
Crichton: Yeah, I hear business is booming.
Scorpius: You are right. The Scarrans and Peacekeepers are at war, and the Scarrans will prevail unless you help us to build a wormhole weapon.
Crichton: Gee, that all sounds reasonable, Bob. Only two problems. No matter what you may believe I can't do it. And just as important - I don't think that the Peacekeepers are any better than the Scarrans. So make sure you validate your parking on the way out.
Scorpius: You will find no serenity during this conflict, Crichton. Examine your choices.
Crichton: You are not listening. Wormholes - no! Weapons - no! Killing - no! Crichton - no.

(Staleek is stopped, frozen motionless by Einstein after trying to maliciously advance towards him)
Crichton: Humbling, ain't it?

Staleek: You will die when I order it.
Rygel: Okay.

Sikozu: You should be dead.
Crichton: And how was your day?

Crichton: (to Ahkna) It's a question of balls. Ball's in his court.

D'Argo: Excellent. I'll be able to stop them cold with three perfect shots!
Chiana: Why three? You usually slay me with just one.

Stark: What about me?
Aeryn: How best can you help?
Stark: I can stay out of your way.
Aeryn: Excellent.

Crichton: (as a Peacekeeper transport arrives) You know who it's gonna be, don't ya?
D'Argo: I know who it is.
Crichton: Bet me. C'mon D, bet me. How much?
D'Argo: You're on your own my friend.
Scorpius: Hello, John!
Crichton: Easy money.

Rygel: (learning he's pregnant with John & Aeryn's baby) I want this thing removed immediately!
Crichton: It's not a thing!
Rygel: Fine, I want this miracle of life the frell out of me!