Father Ted

Season 3 Episode 1

Are You Right There, Father Ted?

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Mar 15, 1998 on Channel 4
out of 10
User Rating
38 votes

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Episode Summary

Ted finally escapes to a new posting at Castlelawn Parochial House, Dublin, with civilised company and frequent jaunts to Paris. Unfortunately a slight misunderstanding over some expenses sends Ted back to his old compadres on the isalnd. After a spot of lad's housecleaning results in Ted being mistakenly tarred as a racist, Ted holds a celebration of Chinese culture to clear his name (though 'Kung Fu Fighting' might not have been an inspired choice of soundtrack). Just when it looks like a happy ending might be in store, a mix-up over some soft furnishings and Nazi memorabilia leaves the Chinese community with a sweet'n'sour taste in the mouth.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

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    Patrick Kavanagh

    Patrick Kavanagh

    Fr. Seamus Fitzpatrick

    Guest Star

    Ozzie Yue

    Ozzie Yue

    Sean Yin

    Guest Star

    Peter Sakon-Lee

    Peter Sakon-Lee

    Yin Jr.

    Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (10)

      • Mrs.Carberry: Fecking Greeks!
        Colm: It isn't the Greeks, it's the Chinese he's after.
        Father Ted: I'm not after the Chinese!
        Mrs.Carberry:I don't care who he gets as long as I can have a go at the Greeks. They invented gayness!

      • Ted: That's right, Dougal. You see, ordinary shops sell what look like black socks, but if you look closely, you'll see that they're very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue.
        Dougal:: That's true. I thought my uncle Tommy was wearing black socks, but when I looked at them closely, they were just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue.
        Ted:: Never buy black socks from a normal shop. (whispers) They shaft you every time!
        (Dougal looks worried)

      • Ted: How long has Father Jack been living in there?
        Dougal: Uh, he started just a few days after you left.
        Ted: Maybe he's agoraphobic?
        Dougal: Jack scared of fighting? I don't think so, Ted.

      • Father Fitzpatrick: You put cyanide next to the vallium, you old fool! That's asking for trouble!

      • Dougal: Ted, here's an idea right off the top of me head. I haven't thought it through so it's probably not brilliant but what the hell, I'll just talk and see what comes out.

      • Ted: Celebration yes but what form could it take.
        Dougal: Ted I want out.
        Ted: What do you mean?
        Dougal: I went too far too soon. I didn't know what I was getting into, Ted. I didn't know you had to follow up a good idea with loads more good ideas. I'm sorry Ted. I'm going to sleep in the spare room.

      • Ted: Who says I'm a racist?
        Colin: Everyone's saying it, Father. Should we all be racist now? What's the official line the church is taking on this.
        Ted: No no.
        Colin: Only the farm takes up most of the day and at night I just like a cup o' tea. I mightn't be able to devote myself to the ol' racism.

      • Colin: Hello there, Father.
        Ted: Hello Colin. ha ha. Out and about?
        Colin: Ah yap. Same as yourself.
        Ted: Good good.
        Colin: I hear you're a racist now father.

      • Father Fitzpatrick: And this is the last known photo of Herr Hitler; he's signing a few death warrants there.

        Ted: Funny how you get more right-wing as you get older!

      • Ted: I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...
        ...more drink?

    • NOTES (3)

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

      • Ted sings "I am Chinese if you please", a paraphrasing of "The Siamese Cat Song" from the Disney film Lady and the Tramp

      • At the beginning of this episode Ted is divying up the masses with the other priest at Castlelawn. This is a reference to Good Luck, Father Ted the very first episode when he was trying to divy up the masses with Father Jack. However Jack was less agreeable then the priests at Castlelawn.