Father Ted

Hud Hastings: Giant, have you heard about this creature going around terrorising sheep on the island? Giant Reid: No. Tell me more. Hud Hastings: They say it's as big as a jaguar. Giant Reid: The car? Hud Hastings: No. The big cat thing. And it's face is all teeth. Big white teeth as sharp as knives. Giant Reid: Has it killed yet? Hud Hastings: No, but it's only a matter of time. Giant Reid: Hope it doesn't get any of my sheep. Hud Hastings: No man's sheep is safe. Giant Reid: Oh dear! Hud Hastings: Oooohhhhhhhhhh! Giant Reid: Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh! Hud Hastings: Oooohhhhhhhhhh! Giant Reid: Oooohhhhooohhhh! Hud Hastings: Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh! Giant Reid: Oooohhhhhhhhhh! Hud Hastings: Oooohhhhhhhhhh! Giant Reid: Oooohhhhhhhhhh! Hud Hastings: Oooohhhhhhhhhh! Giant Reid: Oooohhhhhhhhhh!

Dougal: I'm not surprised Ted. If I was a sheep. I'd be watching my back right now. Ted: Why? Dougal: Because of the beast. They say it's as big as four cats, and it's got a retractable leg so as it can leap up at you better and you know what Ted, it lights up at night, and it's got four ears. Two of them are for listening and the other two are kind of back-up ears, and it's claws are as big as cups and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps and Mrs. Doyle was tellin' me that it's got magnets on it's tail so's if you're made out of metal it can attach itself to you, and instead of a mouth it's got four arses.