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Father Ted

Season 3 Episode 5

Escape from Victory

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Apr 10, 1998 on Channel 4
out of 10
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Episode Summary

It's the All-Priests Over-75s Five-A-Side Football challenge, and disaster looms when Ted's star player is nobbled by a bottle of "Dreamy-Sleepy Nighty Snoozey-Snooze." Fortunately a pair of fake rubber arms and a remote-controlled wheelchair put our lads in with a chance of beating Dick Byrne this year. As long as they can fool the referee. While Dougal tries to protect the corner-flag from Cyril.moreless

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  • As Father Ted gears up against his arch-rival at Rugged Island for the annual All Priests Over 75 Five A Side Indoor Football (Soccer) Match, he's distressed to find his two key players unable to play, and resorts to desperate measures to secure a victorymoreless

    This episode is classic Father Ted farce, and begins with what appears to be Father Ted's paranoid delusion about his arch-rival Rugged Island counterpart, the coach of the Rugged Island all priests over 75 football (soccer) team, planting a bug in the Craggy Island Parochial house and spying on Ted to learn his strategy.

    But Ted's fears are well founded, and the rivalry is in full swing.

    Even Mrs. Doyle gets into the act when she's given the book "Understanding Football for Women" (complete with romance novel cover) and eventually becomes an ESPN-worthy analyst on the match and a vocal part of the taunting all-female "hooligan" crowd.

    Ted is forced to resort to desperate measures when his two star players are incapacitated, and the rival coach brings in a ringer from the Vatican to ensure a Rugged Island victory.

    Best quotes from this episode:

    Mrs. Doyle: "Sensini's got an open goal. If they don't do something soon, he'll score in a matter of minutes."

    Ted: "You're carrying all of Craggy island on your shoulders."

    Player: "ooh, me back."

    Ted: "Metaphorologically"moreless
Maurice O'Donoghue

Maurice O'Donoghue

Fr. Dick Byrne

Guest Star

Don Wycherley

Don Wycherley

Fr. Cyril MacDuff

Guest Star

Stephen Brennan

Stephen Brennan

Fr. Niall Haverty

Guest Star

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (3)

    • Ted: I've just noticed, Jack's been asleep for 14 days! Oh my God, he's drunken an entire bottle of "Dreamy-Sleepy Nighty Snoozy-Snooze."

    • Dougal: Ted, come on, you're going a bit mad there.
      Ted: I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing wrong with me. Everything with me is fine.
      Dougal: Ted, uh, I'm going to have to do something and you're not going to like it. Call it female intuition or whatever the male equivalent of female intuition is but this isn't gonna go down well in the Ted camp at all.
      Ted: I think...
      (Dougal throws a drink in his face)

    • Mrs Doyle: It's only a stupid game of football for goodness sake.
      Dougal: Mrs. Doyle, I'm sorry but no. There's nothing stupid about football. And there's nothing at all stupid about the annual, all priests, five aside, over seventy-fives, indoor football challenge match...against Rugged Island.

  • NOTES (3)