Father Ted

Mrs. Doyle: Your Grace. Father Crilly, I've just heard they've taken the roads in! Bishop Brennan: They've taken the roads in? Father Ted: Yes, when the weather is bad they store them in a warehouse on the East side of the island. Bishop Brennan: What?! I have to be in rome tomorrow, for an audience with the Holy Father! Father Dougal: Don't worry Len, they repeat those shows all the time. Father Ted: They'll have the roads back out by tomorrow. Bishop Brennan: So essentially, we have to spend the night??? Father Ted: Well, Yes....... Bishop Brennan: (looking extremely depressed at this news) Oh bollocks.

Bishop Brennan: Ah, The Kraken awakes. Did you have a good sleep, Father? Father Jack: Arsebiscuits! Father Jessup: What? How dare you speak to His Grace like that like that! Apologise immediately! Father Jack: (in a high pitched voice) I'm soooo, soooo, sorry! (Father Jack twitches his teeth) Father Ted: Now that's sarcasm.

Dougal: Hello, Len. Bishop Brennan: Don't call me Len, you little prick. I'm a bishop! Dougal: Oh right. Well done.

Bishop Brennan: (comes face to face with the Pope) He DID kick me up the arse!