Father Ted

Ted: Dougal, have you been drinking? Dougal: Yes Ted, I've been drinking like a mad eedjit! (Winks at Fr. Stack) I mean no, I haven't.

Father Fintan Stack: (to Father Rory and Father Ken) So long, girls!...Pair of wankers.

Father Fintan Stack: I want to listen to some music. Ted: Oh, that's fine, you go ahead there. Father Fintan Stack: I wasn't asking for permission.

Ted: Come on, Divorce Referendum!

Ted: Meals are at eleven, one, half-two, three, five, seven, and nine, and if you want a quick snack, you can just ask Mrs. Doyle there.

Ted: What was it he used to say about the needy? He had a term for them... Dougal: A shower of bastards.

Dougal: Well, Ted, as I said last time, it won't happen again.

Mrs Doyle: Ah, look at him there with his hairy hands!