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Father Ted

Night of the Nearly Dead

Season 3, Episode 7, Aired Apr 24, 1998

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Trivia
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- If they are all stuck in the house overnight while the women are outside, how did the front door and glass windows get repaired by the next morning?
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Quotes
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- Father Jack: They lie in wait like wolves...the smell of blood in their nostrils...waiting, interminably waiting and then... (The others look at Jack ominously) Dougal: He's right Ted!
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- Dougal: It's like a big tide of jam coming toward us, but jam made out of old women.
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- Eoin McLove: Go away. I don't want to catch the menopause.
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- Father Ted: Ehm, Eoin, Did you enjoy your tea? Eoin McLove: What? Yeah, uh, I don't know, whatever. I want to go now it's getting dark. Dougal: You're not afraid of the dark are ya? It's only because the sun goes... eh, uh. There's this... It's got something to do with clouds.
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- Dougal: I know! We'll lure them into a giant bingo game! Ted: And how are we going to do that? Dougal: We'll print up some bingo cards on our printing press and...oh. Ted: Yes, it's the lack of a printing press that lets us down there. Or bingo balls. Or a PA system. Or in fact, any bingo paraphernalia at all. Dougal: Damn. So near, yet so far.
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- Ted: Eoin, did you come with those suitcases? Eoin: No. These are yours. But I saw a lot of stuff that I liked and I'm taking them with me. Dougal: Oh, that's very cheeky
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- Dougal: I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there.
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- Dougal: It's like a great big tide of jam. But jam made out of... old women.
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- Dougal: I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there.
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- Eoin McLove: Go away! I don't want to catch menopause!
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- Eoin: I'm Eoin McLove. I can have you killed.
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Notes
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Allusions
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- This episode parodies George Romero's film Night of the Living Dead not only in name, but occurrences, most notably when people begin surrounding Ted's house.
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