Felicity Season 3 Episode 12

Felicity: I mean, I straight out asked her if she was interested in you and she said yes. No one says yes to that question. You know what I think? I think she's an evil person. I think she's unabashedly evil.

Noel: I can tell by the glazed look in your eyes that you're getting sick of me or you're really hungry.

Felicity: Hi, we're on the list. Felicity Porter plus one.
Noel: That's me, I'm plus one, I have no identity of my own.

Meghan: This is weird.
Sean: What?
Meghan: We had a fight and we didn't break up.
Sean: Yeah, it's possible.
Meghan: Wow.

Meghan: This is a big deal for me, Sean.
Sean: Meghan!
Meghan: I have never wanted to anything with my life that was even remotely legal, let alone worthwhile.

Felicity: It's not like she's that cute.
Noel: Okay.
Felicity: She's not. Is she?
Noel: From a guy's point of view, for what it's worth, she isn't an ugly person.

Felicity: You know, that stuff'll kill you.
Noel: Something will. Might as well be spray cheese.

Ann: The leather frightens the children... and all of the faculty. I know it's different in college, but you're a professional here, and we expect you to dress like one.
Meghan: So, you want me to wear my bra under my shirt.
Ann: If it wouldn't be a bother.

Meghan: You know, the kids aren't so bad.
Sean: See!
Meghan: It's the teachers that suck.

Felicity: Noel, what are you doing?
Noel: Uh, I'm eating Ding-Dongs, taking solace in Ding-Dongs.

Meghan: I'm working with midgets.
Sean: They're called little people.
Meghan: Kids.

Javier: Can you believe people can just go out and get a gun, like it was a piece of candy instead of a piece? You know, they say that guns don't kill people, people kill people. But that's like saying, butter knives don't spread butter on bread, people spread butter on bread. But you know, I mean, of course, that's true, but that doesn't make it a smart thing to say.