Filthy, Rich and Catflap

Season 1 Episode 1

Dead Milkmen

Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Jan 07, 1987 on BBC Two



  • Trivia

    • Rik Mayall has said that this show is one of his personal favourites, although he didn't think that much of it at the time. "It was slaughtered by the critics and so I believed it was crap. But whenever I sit alone at night, eating cheeseburgers and drinking whisky, watching videos of myself, it's always Catflap I put on."

  • Quotes

    • Richie: What? You think the papers will side with Milkie?
      Filthy: Bound to. I remember when I had Mike Read on my books. Him and Chegwin got drunk one night and set fire to a nun. Next series of Saturday Superstore was slated.
      Eddie: Yeah Filthy, a nun, all right but it's only a couple of milkmen. I mean "Clanky, clanky, whistley, whistley, morning, madam, aren't I sexy? "Another fruit yoghurt, your gold top." Then after all that they send you a bill! They deserve to die!
      Filthy: One milkman, maybe you could laugh it off, friendly joke, went too far, faults on both sides, but two? It looks very Freddie Starr, doesn't it?

    • Richie: Now what sort of accent should he have, hm? Cockney, of course. Luckily I'm a master of dialect. Here goes, 'Ee by gum, ecky thump!' There you have it, the milkman, a creation to rank with Olivier's Othello, Gielgud's Hamlet and Forsyth's brilliantly observed Supermarket Manager.

    • Richie: How long am I expected to keep it up for. Living a double life as a milkman? Am I expected to train his whippets? Learn to clog dance? Sleep with his wife? I'm bound to be discovered. There she is, in her curlers, thinking, "Oh, God, I'm so bored of having to sex with that working-class oik I married." And all of a sudden whoopie-daisy Richie Rich flashes a star-spangled smile and something not dissimilar to a nuclear submarine floats in between the sheets.
      Eddie: Yeah, and then when she's flopped your beer belly back onto the floor she can get out her binoculars and start searching for your action.

    • Filthy: Listen, we're gonna have to cover for them on their round. Richie, get this bloke's clothes off, you're gonna have to do his job so the dairy don't work out he's dead.
      Richie: Hang on a minute. That's a drastic solution, isn't it? I mean alright I've killed a couple of guys but what you're suggesting is manual labour!

    • Filthy:
      Bigger than the biggest laugh Tarby ever got.

      Eddie: Not as big as the one about the sheep he did at the Falklands War Gala Evening where everyone thought the cheeky chap had gone just a bit too far?

    • Richie: Let me tell you Filthy Ralph I've sustained some quite considerable Belisha beacons in my time, thank you!

    • Filthy: All right, all right once. I've deceived you once.
      Richie: No, twice. You told me you managed Laurence Olivier.
      Filthy: So I do. Laurence Olivier, the one-armed turd impressionist.
      Richie: There was an implication you meant Larry The Actor.

    • Richie: What in the name of Satan's portion!

    • Richie: No, no, no, what are we gonna do about the corpse?
      Eddie: Bung it in the cupboard and blame someone else?
      Richie: That's brilliant. Of course, the perfect alibi. Let's grab the stiff.
      Eddie: Oo-er!
      Richie: Oh for heavens sake Eddie, a man is dead and still you're spouting your appalling double entendres! You don't think perhaps as this poor milkmans immortal soul lies hovering above the remains of it's eartly self, it would perfer not be the butt of a knob gag?
      Eddie: I think prehaps all in all he might prefer not to be dead at all but then of course he didn't have a choice did he because certain people bonked him on the head with a couple of milk bottles.

    • Richie: I'm gonna fight this! I've got the light entertainment department of the BBC behind me! I shall call Keith Harris and Orville as character witnesses.
      Eddie: Well I hope you like prison food.
      Richie: The jury will melt as Orville takes the stand. "Your Honour, Wichie Wich is innocent".
      Eddie: Richie, Orville is a nylon, green, Day-Glo duck in a nappy. The jury will hang you.
      Richie: Edward, there may be children watching! Excuse me, what are you going to tell them next, there's no Father Christmas.
      Eddie: Yes I am.
      Richie: No.
      Eddie: Hello, kiddies. There is no Father Christmas. He's purely a marketing ploy to make low-income parents' lives a misery.
      Richie: I want you to imagine something. I want you to picture something Edward, I want you picture the simple, trusting face of a child streaked with the cruel tears of disilluson because of what you just said.
      Eddie: I want you to picture the tear-streaked face of its mother because one week's dole won't cover the cost of one Masters of the Universe battlecruiser!
      Richie: Well she can get a job can't she. Become a stripper or something. No use sitting there crying about it, get on your bike and get your clothes off! Right, Mr Tebbit?

    • Richie: How glad I am that I've always spurned regular lovers. Because, of course, by sleeping alone I get me all to myself. And I know I will always wake up with the most attractive person in the world.

    • Richie: I'm not going to prison. I'll claim diminished responsibility. Premenstrual tension! Yes, Filthy, get me a sex change!

  • Notes

    • Nigel Planer said about Filthy Rich & Catflap "I think there was a sort of, what a band would call, musical differences. There was some sort of shift in the creative power and so I think that's really the reason why there weren't any further Filthy Rich & Catflaps. It's just Rik and Ben going off in their own directions. Which was a shame for me because I fell through the middle of that.".

      It's also been suggested that it rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way, as it lambasted a lot of the showbiz personalities of the time, some of which worked for the BBC. A second series is mentioned in the final episode and during the broadcast the continuity announcer suggests that the series will be returning the following year.

  • Allusions

    • The line '...with Olivier's Othello, Gielgud's Hamlet and Forsyth's brilliantly observed Supermarket Manager.' is a reference to Bruce Forsyth who in 1986-87 played a supermarket mangaer in the ITV show Slingers Day.

    • Ralph: The Iron Lady looks after businessmen like me.

      One of the nicknames of Margaret Thatcher, the British Prime Minister when this show originally aired.

    • Ralph: (describing the size of the trouble Richie is in) Bigger than the biggest laugh Tarby ever got.

      A reference to Jimmy Tarbuck, the English comedian and quiz show host. Apart from all of his success as an entertainer, he's also known for being a boyhood friend of John Lennon.

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