Filthy, Rich and Catflap

Season 1 Episode 2

Game Show

1
Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Jan 14, 1987 on BBC Two
8.3
out of 10
User Rating
10 votes
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Episode Summary

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Game Show
AIRED:
Richie appears on a TV game show with disastrous results. After a visit to their dressing room he winds up being blackmailed by the Nolan Sisters. To get the necessary funds Eddie ties his hand at art ... with remarkable success.

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SUBMIT REVIEW

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (2)

    • QUOTES (16)

      • Richie: Alphonse Nob End? Nob End and Poo Farty. What a script. Get out.

      • Richie: Waiter, come here quickly before I cause a scene. Ah, good, waiter. Two slap-up grills, please. Egg, saus, bac, black pud, bloater, onios, mushos, peasos, chippos, buttered sliceos. Arhh, in short, two heart attacks and a coronary intensive care unit, please.

      • Richie: Oh, God, fans. It's a bore, I know, but I do always say, without the fans even I would be nowhere. Tarby feels the same and Kenny Lynch. Bobby Davro said the same thing. I said, " Bobby love, you are nowhere."

      • Richie: Filthy, this is not the attitude that wins! When Mike Winters left Bernie did Bernie sit on the lavatory and have a drink? No, he went out a brought a dog called Schnorbitz and a showbiz legend was born.

      • Richie: Phew! That pipe whiffs like nobody's business!
        Eddie: Richie, it's a sewer, it whiffs like everybody's business.

      • Richie: You filthy? A thousand quid? I don't understand.
        Eddie: It's just like one quid, Richie, only there's more of them. Try to think of it as like a thousand quid.
        Richie: Wow! That's like two thousand apperances on Blanky Blank.

      • Richie: Look, we've got two problems. Theres no food and the Nolans. What are we going to do?
        Eddie: Eat the Nolans!
        Richie: We can't eat the Nolan Sisters! It'd be showbiz suicide. Besides if you start something like that, you better be sure you can finish it.
        Eddie: There's only four of 'em and I'm starving.
        Richie: No, no, no that's not what I mean. What I mean is if we eat them, where will it all end? We eat them, Bucks Fizz eat us.
        Eddie: Yes. Brotherhood Of Man eats Bucks Fizz. Jimmy Osmond eats Brotherhood Of Man.
        Richie: Thats right, and before you know it, there'll just be one huge enormous middle-of-the-road singer left in the whole of light entertainment and Demis Roussos will be back at number one.

      • Molly: I bet Bill's ostrich isn't as well behaved as my pussy.
        Director: Come on Ivor, bring this show round, for God's sake!
        Ivor: Ladies and gentlemen, everybody's favourite mother-in-law, Molly Slocombe!
        Molly: Oh, you're so lovely. I'd like to show you all me pussy. In fact, I can't think of anything nicer than having you all stroking me pussy.
        Richie: Oh for god sake love, don't milk it. That's the third time you've done that gag. And you used to do it in every ep of that appalling sitcom you used to do.

      • Richie: Yes, of course, I've known Tarby for years yes. We've often performed in the same pants. Panto, love. Pantomimes. Ooh, we've done a few. Oh, Cinders, Aladders, Dickers Whitters. That was terrif. My Dick was fantastic. That's an old showbiz joke, love.

      • Filthy: Now look, Squeaky, I've told you before, balloon bending is no longer a saleable commodity. The public want sex. Squeaky, two round balloons and one long thin one does not constitute sex. Now Squeaky, do yourself a favour, cut your losses, kill yourself.

      • Eddie: If it gets in the papers you're being stitched up by the Nolans, you'll be a laughing stock. Still, look at the bright side.


        Richie: Which is?


        Eddie: It'll be the first laugh you ever got.

      • Filthy: Richie, darling, you've got it all wrong. The agent is supposed to rob the client. Please don't flaunt tradition.

      • Richie: The Nolans! My all-time favorite four-tissue fantasy!

      • Ritchie: No time now! You're blackmailing me, and I've got to get on with the plot. Thank God someone's still being professional around here!

      • Trevor: Sit on him! Sack him! Sack his people! Bankrupt his company...

      • Trevor: Julian! Shut that gormless git up! No unscripted spontaneity!

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (3)

      • Eddie: That Valerie Singleton doesn't half go. Well, she can run a lot faster than me anyway.

        Valerie Singleton is a British television presenter, famous for her work on the children's programme Blue Peter.

      • Eddie: Try to think of it like a thousand quid.
        Richie: Wow, that's like 2000 appearances on Blankety Blank.

        Blankety Blank was an eighties British quiz show, presented by Terry Wogan and Les Dawson. Ironically, it's the quiz that obviously served as the inspiration for the show in this episode.

      • On The Waterfront

        Eddie says "I coulda been a contender", a famous line spoken by Marlon Brando in the movie "On The Waterfront".

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