Firefly Season 1 Episode 6

Inara: Are you in pain?
Mal: Absolutely. I got stabbed, you know, right here.
Inara: Eh, I saw.
Mal: Don't care much for fancy parties. Too rough.
Inara: It wasn't entirely a disaster.
Mal: I got stabbed! Right here!
Inara: You also lined up exciting new crime.

Gentleman: If you require it, any gentleman here can give you the use of a sword.
Mal: Use of a s... what?

Atherton Wing: Half the men in this room wish you were on their arm.
Inara: Only half? I must be losing my undefinable allure.

Mal: (talking about Atherton Wing) Must be rich to afford your rates.
Inara: I suppose, he has engaged me for several days.
Mal: Days, boy must have stamina.
Inara: He does.

Man: Water plants need labor, terraforming crews got a prodigious death rate.
Mal: Labor? You mean slaves.
Man: Well, they wasn't volunteers, for damn sure.

Atherton: Excuse me, she's not here with you, captain. She's mine.
Mal: Yours? She don't belong to nobody.
Athenton: Money changed hands, which makes her mine tonight. And no matter how you dress her up...
(Mal punches him in the face)
Mal: Turns out this is my kinda party!

Mal: This duel is the result of the rules from your society, not mine
Inara: You never follow the rules, no matter what society you're in! You don't even get along with ordinary criminals either, which is why you are constantly getting in trouble!
Mal: And you think following the rules will buy you a nice life even if the rules make you a slave!

Kaylee: Don't you just love this party? Everything's so fancy, and there's some kind of hot cheese over there.
Rich Girl: It's not as good as last year.
Kaylee: Oh, really? What'd they have last year?
Rich Girl: Standards.

River: Sure, I got a secret. More than one. Don't seem likely I'd tell 'em to you now, do it? Anyone off Dyton Colony knows better than to talk to strangers. You're talking loud enough for the both of us though, ain'tcha? I've known a dozen like you. Skipped off home early, running graft jobs here and there. Spent some time in the lock down, but less than you claim. And you're what? Petty thief with delusions of standing? Sad, little king of a sad, little hill.

Wash: Sleepiness is weakness of character. Ask anyone.

Inara: (as a bar fight ensues) Love this place, I'll tell my friends.

Badger: Of course, you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple... (Mal and Jayne look at each other and smirk) ...of invites!

Badger: Captain Reynolds. Heard you was in town. Thought we might have a bit of a sit down.
Mal: I'd prefer a bit of a piss off.
Badger: I'm very sorry, did I give you the impression I was asking?

Mal: I don't like fellows that kill me. Not in general.

Mal: Stay for a while, resupply. Sniff the air, we don't kiss the dirt.
Zoe: I wasn't planning on the dirt kissing, sir.
Wash: I wouldn't stand for it anyway, Captain. Jealous man like me.

Inara: You have a strange sense of nobility, Captain. You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.
Mal: I might not show respect for your job, but he didn't respect you. That's the difference.

Inara: I like Atherton too, by the way.
Mal: Well, sure. What's not to like? I'm liable to sleep with him myself.

Wash: You are acting captain. Know what happens if you fall asleep now?
Zoe: Jayne slits my throat and takes over.
Wash: That's right!

Kaylee: I like the ruffles. Inara gets to wear whatever she wants.
Mal: What are you going to do in that rig? Flounce around the engine room? You'd look like a sheep walkin' on its hind legs.

Badger: (He) won't deal with me direct. He's taken an irrational dislike.
Jayne: What happened? Did he see your face?

Badger: I had a problem with your attitude is why. Thought you was...what's the word?
Jayne: "Pretentious"?
Badger: Exactly. You think you're better than other people.
Mal: Just the ones I'm better than.

Mal: Hmm. It sounds like the finest party I can imagine getting paid to go to.
Inara: I don't suppose you'd find it up to the standards of your outings. More conversation, and somewhat less petty theft and getting hit with pool cues.

Gentleman: What a lovely dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get you into it. Of course, your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again.

Wash: Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower. Somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross.

Inara: As with other situations, the key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back.

Inara: I am grateful, you know, for the ill-conceived and high-handed attempt to defend my honor although I didn't want you to.
Mal: Gracious as that is...

Jayne: We was just about to spring into action, Captain. Complicated escape and rescue op.
Wash: Very exciting. I was going to watch.

Inara: (to Atherton) That's not how it works. You see, you've earned yourself a black mark in the Client Registry. No Companion is ever going to contract with you ever again.
Harrow: You'll have to rely on your winning personality to get woman. God help you.

Mal: Mercy is the mark of a great man. (stabs Atherton shallowly) I guess I'm just a good man. (stabs him again) Well, I'm alright.

Jayne: What we need is a diversion. I say Zoe gets naked.
Wash: No!
Jayne: I could get naked...?
Wash and Zoe: No!

Mal: ...I never back down from a fight.
Inara: Yes you do! You do all the time!
Mal: Well...yeah, but I'm not backing down from this one.

Kaylee: Up until the punching it was a real nice party.

Atherton: I accept.
Mal: That's great! What?!?

Mal: My job may be illegal, but at least it's honest.
Inara: What?!?

Harrow: I know (Badger). And I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.

Kaylee: Is that him?
Mal: That's the buffet table.
Kaylee: How will we know... unless we question it?
Mal: Fine. Don't make yourself sick.

Jayne: (drinking tea) This ain't bad.
Badger: There's a trick to it. Wood alcohol.
Mal: So now we're favored guests, treated to beverages that make you blind.

Zoe: If I'm going to wear a dress, I want one with some slink.
Wash: You want a slinky dress, I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?
Jayne: I'll chip in.
Zoe: (through her smile, to Jayne) I can hurt you.

Wash: What am I looking at - the girls or the clothes?
Jayne: The girls.
Zoe: The clothes, please.

Zoe: Planet's coming up a mite fast.
Wash: That's just cause I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.
Mal: Well, that happens, let me know.