FM (UK)

Lindsay: You need to start acting like professionals. (to Dom) You, have a drink. (to Jane) You, have a cigarette. Get in here and do your fucking jobs.

Ades: (on the air) Hi. This is Ades. And this is a new feature which I like to call Hearing Ades. Yeah? Cool. So, Wombats, you ever had a wank on a bus?

Lindsay: Where are you going? Jane: Back before the show starts with Dom or his corpse.

Dom: I've got so mavny stories, I can't just let them all go to waste. I just like the buzz. Lindsay: Hold on. Have you become addicted to Addiction Support?

Lindsay: I hate cats. Cats are game players, man. They're all strokey and purry when you're at home. So you're like, let's go for a walk. As soon as you get outside, they're gone. As if they're too embarrassed to be seen with you. Cats are twats.

Jess: Sorry. The ex. We're just fighting over the cat. Lindsay: Oh, it's hard. You get so attached. Don't you? Jess: God no. I hate it. Miserable little fucker. It's always got this look on its face like I pissed in its kitty kat.

Lindsay: Hello, My name is Lindsay Carol and I'm addicted to cocking up with women. Jane: Lindsay, you're not addicted. You're just a dick.

Dom: (to Jane) You're fag intake is solely responsible for the UK not meeting its emissions targets. You need cigarettes to function. I need booze.

Jane: First thing tomorrow morning I'm going to book you into Addiction Support. Dom: I'm not addicted. I like alcohol. I like Christmas. It doesn't mean I can't go a day without watching "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang". Jane: Too much Christmas doesn't mean you wake up on a ferry in the middle of the Irish Sea. You are, you're addicted.