Season 1 Episode 2

System Addict

Aired Wednesday 10:30 PM Mar 04, 2009 on ITV2
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Episode Summary

System Addict
Jane stops smoking, Dom gives up alcohol and Lindsay gives up giving up on girls.

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  • This was another highly amusing episode of FM.

    This was another highly amusing episode of FM. It included a 'live' performance by the Wombats and a cameo by Toyah Willcox. Dom is made to give up alcohol by Jane who in return has to give up smoking. Lots of funny scenes follow where Dom has to go to Addiction Support but ends up being addicted to Addiction Support! Jane can't give up nicotine so resorts to nicotine patches. There was a hilarious moment when Dom tries to catch her smoking in the ladies toilets and bursts through the cubicle door with a fire extinguisher only to find it's the wrong person in there. So funny!moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (11)

    • Lindsay: I had Ades as my co-host tonight. I spent 20 minutes trying to convince him that Leonard Cohen wasn't in Star Trek.

    • Lindsay: You need to start acting like professionals. (to Dom) You, have a drink. (to Jane) You, have a cigarette. Get in here and do your fucking jobs.

    • Ades: (on the air) Hi. This is Ades. And this is a new feature which I like to call Hearing Ades. Yeah? Cool. So, Wombats, you ever had a wank on a bus?

    • Lindsay: Where are you going?
      Jane: Back before the show starts with Dom or his corpse.

    • Dom: I've got so mavny stories, I can't just let them all go to waste. I just like the buzz.
      Lindsay: Hold on. Have you become addicted to Addiction Support?

    • Lindsay: I hate cats. Cats are game players, man. They're all strokey and purry when you're at home. So you're like, let's go for a walk. As soon as you get outside, they're gone. As if they're too embarrassed to be seen with you. Cats are twats.

    • Jess: Sorry. The ex. We're just fighting over the cat.
      Lindsay: Oh, it's hard. You get so attached. Don't you?
      Jess: God no. I hate it. Miserable little fucker. It's always got this look on its face like I pissed in its kitty kat.

    • Lindsay: Hello, My name is Lindsay Carol and I'm addicted to cocking up with women.
      Jane: Lindsay, you're not addicted. You're just a dick.

    • Dom: (to Jane) You're fag intake is solely responsible for the UK not meeting its emissions targets. You need cigarettes to function. I need booze.

    • Jane: First thing tomorrow morning I'm going to book you into Addiction Support.
      Dom: I'm not addicted. I like alcohol. I like Christmas. It doesn't mean I can't go a day without watching "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang".
      Jane: Too much Christmas doesn't mean you wake up on a ferry in the middle of the Irish Sea. You are, you're addicted.

    • Lindsay: Toyah! Toyah Willcox! How can you not have heard of Toyah Willcox? She was the High Princess of big wigged pink punk pop. Listen.
      Ades: Toyah. That sounds like a Japanese car.
      Lindsay: "It's a Mystery". No?
      Ades: And this is the bird you fancy, yeah?
      Lindsay: I don't. I don't fancy her. I just think that she's very talented. We interviewed her once and she gave me her number.
      Ades: She gave you her number?
      Lindsay: Well she sent us an invoice on headed notepaper and it had her number on the top. So technically ...
      Ades: You stole her number.

  • NOTES (0)


    • Jane: All right, easy there, Glenn Close. What did I say about being desperate?

      Jane is alluding to the 1987 film Fatal Attraction where a married man's one night stand comes back to haunt him when his lover, played by Glenn Close, begins to stalk him and his family.

    • Lindsay: I can't help it. When I see a pretty girl, I turn into Gareth Gates.

      Gareth Gates was the runner up in the 2002 Pop Idol show and is well known for his stammering problems, which he overcomes by singing.

    • Jane: How are you going to go out with her if she thinks you've got a girlfriend? You tw't, it's like talking to Rainman.

      Rainman is the 1988 film starring Dustin Hoffman as Raymond Babbitt, a man who has autism.

    • Lindsay: Hey there, Zammo. Are you all right?

      Zammo, played by Lee MacDonald, was a character in the long-running BBC show for children, Grange Hill (1978-2008 ). His story line about addiction was one of the most famous in the entire show.

    • Dom: It doesn't mean I can't go a day without watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

      This line from Dom alludes to the fact that the 1968 film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a regular feature in the Christmas TV schedules in the UK.