Footballers' Wives

Season 3 Episode 1

Episode 3.1

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Feb 11, 2004 on ITV



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Amber: Simba? Simba? You haven't seen him, have you? Lara Bateman brought him some organic biscuits and I just thought he should say "thank you."
      Hazel: This is a dog we're talking about, is it?
      Amber: I supposed you're more of a cats person then?
      Hazel: I've always loved my pussy.

    • Hazel: Listen Einstein, I prefer to talk business with my client without the wife sticking her nose in.
      Conrad: Amber's got to have her say.
      Hazel: Fine. Go for it. I'm sure you years in Bollywood B-movie make you an expert in sports negotiations.

    • Frank: Kyle. I'm off.
      Kyle: Leaving [the funeral] so soon Frank?
      Frank: Some appointment can't be changed Kyle.
      Kyle: (sarcastically) It's a pity you didn't tell me earlier. I would have told Chardonnay to die at a more convenient time.

    • (discussing Chardonnay death from anorexia)
      Darius: I mean, if you know you're gonna die, wouldn't you just eat summat? Like, even if you aren't hungry?
      Ron: Yeah, but you're ill, aren't you?
      Darius: But you're only ill because you aren't eating. Life or death, man, have a sandwich.

    • Tanya: (to Jackie) If you think I want the world to know that my husband was sad enough to shag Old Mother Hubbard, then think again.

  • Notes

  • Allusions