Frasier Forums

NBC (ended 2004)

Favourite Quotes

  • Avatar of seriousguy_08


    [41]Apr 20, 2008
    • member since: 04/17/08
    • level: 2
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    • posts: 8

    "DAMN HIMMM!!" -Frasier when refering to Cam Winston and his ways

    "I see we have another shopper from the price club"- the French store owner's qoute to Daphnee when she reacts to how expensive and high priced everything is. Martin is there for a second time after first getting kicked out by the store owner because martin was also a a frugal shopper, but realized Eddie reallly liked the dog food from there.

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  • Avatar of MLionhart2


    [42]Apr 26, 2008
    • member since: 05/24/02
    • level: 12
    • rank: Evil Bert
    • posts: 294

    I love this conversation from "Rooms With A View":

    (Roz is comforting Daphne, who is scared about Niles' surgery)
    Frasier: Daphne, I know you're in hell right now, but in just about 20 minutes, comes the disconnecting of the ventilator and the extubation. You can see it all in the diagram on page 24-C...
    Daphne: He's not a diagram! He's my husband, and he's on a table with his chest cut open! I'm sorry if I can't handle this as well as the rest of you, but I'm terrified!
    Roz: Daphne, it's okay, just calm down. When all this is over, we're just gonna...
    Daphne: There is no "when this is over"! There's no tomorrow, no next week, no next year! There's nothing until he comes out of there and I know he's okay!

    There are touching moments in Frasier as well, and I found that this quote wasn't included for that episode on this site. Hopefully, my submission to that page will be accepted, and this situation will be remedied. Really, tsk tsk.

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  • Avatar of VICBOUWERSA


    [43]Jan 13, 2010
    • member since: 10/12/05
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 18

    Season 1 - The Crucible

    (The shady art dealer is trying to get rid of Frasier, saying he has work to do)

    Frasier : What, did a crate of freshly painted Rembrandts just arrive?!


    Frasier : (calling the police) Yes, the fine arts forgery department please. (Martin laughing behind his back...hilarious!)


    Frasier : Eddy i am a humane person but right now i could kick a kitten through an electric fan. (dunno the episode)


    Season 1 - Space Quest

    (Frasier is trying to read his book in the living room but Martin keeps interrupting)

    Something like:

    Martin : Oh yeah, whats it about?

    Frasier : Dad, please!

    Martin : Ok, ok


    Martin : THICK!


    Sherry : Laughter is the best medicine

    Niles : I guess we are in the placebo group then.


    Season 2? - Travels with Martin

    Martin : When the guard looks in here, what is he going to see?

    Frasier, Niles and Daphne : Four carefree americans!


    (Not sure of the episode but the funniest call in - Matthew Broderick)

    Caller : I work the night shift as a security guard and have been looking at the security camera footage. The camera me is doing things i REALLY dont approve of.

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  • Avatar of KingofIPirates


    [44]Jan 13, 2010
    • member since: 08/11/06
    • level: 32
    • rank: Whammy!
    • posts: 45,832
    There's too many to count.

    But off the top of my head it'd be this for now.
    debiy55 wrote:
    From "Flour Child"....

    Frasier : Oh Niles!, I haven't got time to sit here and listen to your insanity. I've got to go steal a get-well card from a kidney patient!

    seriousguy_08 wrote:
    "DAMN HIMMM!!" -Frasier when refering to Cam Winston and his ways
    Also like it when he emphasizes his name.
    Edited on 01/13/2010 3:08am
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  • Avatar of swimten1


    [45]Apr 26, 2010
    • member since: 03/19/10
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
    • posts: 7

    I personally love all of Lilith's and Bebe's quotes. Especially "i've been to hell and back so many times I have frequent flyer miles!"

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  • Avatar of Chachafire


    [46]Jul 18, 2010
    • member since: 05/18/08
    • level: 8
    • rank: Super-Friend
    • posts: 17

    Frasier loves Roz,Season 3 Episode 22

    Niles is filming Martin for the future generations

    Martin:My name's Martin Crane.When I made this tape I was 64 years old*silent pause*but now I'm DEAD.

    Trapped in a box underground...Pretty scary eh*muhahaha*

    A few seconds later he tells a "secret locker code" and when he is about to say the last digit he pretends to die.

    Plain hilarious,you've just gotta see it with the expressions on his face

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  • Avatar of BFFW


    [47]Jul 29, 2010
    • member since: 07/28/10
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 1

    It's hard to choose a favourite quote; so I am just naming my top 3

    1. From 'Love bites Dog', Season 4, Episode 2 (this is more the whole scene put together, but it is just plain brilliant)

    Bulldog: [Frasier is trying to snap Bulldog out of it] Doc, Doc, you're hurting my head here. Can you stop being a shrink and just be like a guy?
    Frasier: [to himself] Like a guy. Like a guy.
    Frasier: SCREW HER!
    Bulldog: What?
    Frasier: [angrily] Yeah, you don't need her. She's trash!
    Bulldog: Yeah, that's right.
    Frasier: You're better off without her; We both are!
    Bulldog: I like the sound of this.
    Frasier: Yeah, so do I! Unattractive, yet liberating, rather like the one and only time I wore a European bathing suit.
    [realizing he's going off-track]
    Frasier: I'm sorry. SHE'S A **** (sorry censoring)
    Bulldog: Hey, she wasn't even that hot!
    Frasier: You're right. All she did was save you the trouble of having to dump her!
    Bulldog: [cheering up] I never thought about that.
    Frasier: There you go!
    Bulldog: I'm feeling a little better, Doc!
    Frasier: That's right!
    Bulldog: Thanks. It's great talking to you!
    [holds out his hand]
    Frasier: [shaking his hand] Likewise. You know, I could talk like this for another thirty seconds.
    Frasier: [walking back in the booth with Bulldog] She was nothing! She was less than nothing! Tomorrow you're gonna find someone even hotter and you know what you're gonna do?
    Bulldog: What?
    Frasier: You're gonna have your fun with her and then you're gonna dump her just for the hell of it!
    Bulldog: Yeah, dump her!
    Frasier: And you know what? You're not gonna feel bad about it at all. You know why? Because we're GUYS and THAT'S WHAT GUYS DO!
    [walks out of booth]
    Niles: [in corridor] Distressing news, Frasier. Francois gave away our table.
    Frasier: SCREW HIM!
    Niles: [shocked] Excuse me?
    Frasier: You heard what I said! We don't need him or his stinky little restaurant! There are plenty of restaurants in town. I say we go somewhere we don't even need a reservation!
    [Niles slaps him, snapping him out of his Bulldog mode]
    Frasier: Thank you. [they flitter away]

    2. From 'Sleeping with the Enemy' Season 3, Episode 6

    Daphne: Oh, come on now, Dr Crane. It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want.
    Frasier: (gestures emphatically): How can we possibly USE sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want!

    3. From 'The Candidate', Series 2, Episode 7

    Niles: Can you tell me, with any certainty, that in such a vast universe there isn't intelligent life on other planets?

    Frasier: At the moment, I'm not sure there's intelligent life in this kitchen.

    I can't find my fav number 4 and I can't recall it exactly; but it comes from Flour Child, season 2, episode 4 and I think it goes like:

    [Niles puts down his flour baby and there is tape all over it]

    Frasier: Niles, I can't help but notice that your child has a little boo-boo?

    Niles: Well I was listening to Brahms and must have started conducting and I accidentally ran him through with one of Maris' hair pins.

    Frasier: What young parent doesn't tell that story.

    Too hilarious!!!!!

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  • Avatar of msfefej


    [48]Dec 10, 2010
    • member since: 11/30/10
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
    • posts: 2

    tbirdy007 wrote:

    Season 7 "Radio Wars"

    After Carlos and the Chicken have played an on-airjoke on Frasier:

    Martin: Do you think you could get me a tape of the show?
    Frasier: What on earth for?
    Martin: How often do you get to hear your son on the radio?
    Frasieryells) I'm on the radio every day!!!

    One of my favs as well. Also can't forget the one where Lilith comes for some Frasier comfort (Room Service), Niles steps in to help avert his big brother from falling victim to a shameless low back, micro mini dress the ex is wearing only to find himself in bed with her the next day.

    The waiter always saying "ok" and Frasier being told by Lilith hes should have given into her, and he reply's "then it would be the two of us in a whole different hell"

    We've certainly analyzed the crap out this!!

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  • Avatar of TedsMom


    [49]May 21, 2011
    • member since: 10/13/08
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 1
    I wish I knew what episode this is from and the exact wording. If anyone knows, please tell me! Frasier is counseling someone on the radio and starts correcting the caller's grammar. The caller says something about how he hates it when arrogant people correct other people's speech. Caller: "That's what I have a problem with!"
    Frasier: "I think what the caller meant to say is 'That is a thing with which I have a problem'".

    That quote is just from my memory, so it may not be exact. Frasier's delivery of this line is just excellent. If anyone remembers the episode, please let me know. I used to have it on DVR for whenever I needed a laugh.
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