Dr. Frasier Crane
Daphne Moon Crane
Dr. Niles Crane
Man in Cafe
Frederick Gaylord Crane
Wouldn't Niles' brief stint as a nudist count as a rebellion? Not to mention the time he mooned Richard Nixon (mentioned in Season 2's "The Club")?
Niles: (thinking he's high) I'm especially looking forward to something called the "munchies" stage. It's where one enjoys bizarre food combinations.... I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive Zinfandel!
Frasier: You're a good man, Niles. In a way, isn't that rebelling against rebellion?
Niles: (smiles) Nice try.
Frasier: All right, look at it this way – you did get our cop father stoned tonight.
Martin: Hi, Fras.
Frasier: Dad, where are your pants?
Martin: In the fridge. (off Frasier's look) I had a reason. (shows his pad of paper) "Fridge pants."
Frasier: Dad, when you were at the café today, you didn't eat a brownie that Roz brought for Niles, did you?
Martin: Yeah - but I replaced it.
Frasier: For God's sake! That was a pot brownie! You're stoned off your ass!
Martin: For turning you on to the best thing you will ever eat: barbecue pudding chips!
Niles: No, thanks.
Martin: Oh, they looked at me funny in the store, too, but you taste that and tell me that's not better than a woman.
Martin: Hey, hey, Niles, let me ask you something. Do you ever feel like you'd just like to go straight?
Martin: Well, you know, I was walking home, and I kept thinking about all the turns we have to make – right turn, left turn. How much easier it'd be if we just could go straight over the trees, over a building. That's what a giant would do. They should let everybody be a giant for a day.
(Niles, thinking it's all just a vision of his own "trip," bursts into giggles, making Martin laugh again)
Niles: If you had any idea how strange you seem to me right now.
Martin: Why is everybody saying that to me?
Eddie: (in Frasier's voice) Anybody want to go for a walk? Then why not come to Seattle?
Frasier: Oh, dear God!
(As Eddie continues speaking, a set of postcards scroll by his head to
show what he is talking about)
Eddie: Where else can you see... an ocean wave, a fish fly, a mountain peak, and the world's largest needle? Come to Seattle. Let's go for a walk.
(The spot ends. Frasier is outraged, Freddie and Andi are, for once,
Freddie: That is so goth.
Frasier: It is not goth! It's outrageous! It's like some hideous Frankenstein hybrid of me and that no-talent dog!
Freddie: Hi, Dad.
Frasier: Hey, Freddie. Oh, Andi. How was the mall?
Andi: Except when that fat kid threw up in Santa's beard. That was goth.
Niles: Well, it really bothered me when said that I never rebelled. I mean, I've been obsessing about it. What kind of self-respecting psychiatrist – not to mention father-to-be – completely misses one of life's prime rites of passage? So... I've decided to rebel tonight. (grins) Right under Dad's nose.
Niles: You ready?
Niles: You sure?
Niles: Move your coffee, it might...
Niles: (proudly) I'm getting high on reefer.
(Frasier stares at him, while Niles puts a "shh!" finger to his lips)
Niles: I've waited for this all my life, Frasier – one act of utter, devil-may-care, crotch-grabbing brazenness! And of course I'll have a nurse on speed-dial in case things get too hairy.
Frasier: And exactly which of your connections in the Seattle demimonde is going to get you this reefer?
(Roz enters and drops a small parcel on the table in front of Niles)
Roz: Okay, Niles, you're hooked up.
Niles: Well, oh... I'll just take a look. (does so) Ah, yes, thick and gooey. Ganja in its purest form.
Roz: It's a pot brownie, you idiot. My neighbor makes them.
Natalie: Sure. How about, uh... 7:00 at Garagiste?
Frasier: Could you say that again?
Natalie: Garagiste. You don't know it?
Frasier: Oh yes, I do. I just love hearing you say it.
(They laugh. The waiter brings Natalie's coffee)
Husband: Excuse me, are you using this chair?
Frasier: (charmed) Well, doesn't that have a familiar ring to it? (stands to offer the chair) The weary holiday traveler and his pregnant wife seeking kindness from a stranger...
(Natalie has just entered and noticed him)
Frasier: ...I'm afraid I am, yes. So...
(He shoos the couple away, and invites Natalie to sit)
Martin: Nope, nope. You were one of those good kids. One time I found a bag of something that looked suspicious in your dresser, but it turned out to be just something to make your sweaters smell nice.
Frasier: I didn't mean anything by it, I simply thought... (Freddie exits) Oh, dear God! Well, thank you Lilith, for mentioning this little development!
Daphne: Oh, it's just a phase. All teenagers go through a rebellious period. It always passes. You should have seen me at that age – dating the older boys, hitch-hiking, drinking, shop-lifting. Do you know I can carry a frozen turkey between my knees?
(Niles, for whom this is more than he ever wanted to know, rises stiffly
and walks to the bar)
Niles: That'll come in handy if we ever misplace our serving platter at Thanksgiving.
(Chuckling at her memories, Daphne points to Frasier)
Daphne: Hey, and didn't you once tell me you went streaking?
Frasier: Well, I had shin splints at the time, so it was really more of a brisk nude walk.
Freddie: Hey, Dad.
Frasier: There he is...
(He turns, and yelps out loud)
Freddie: Nice greeting, Dad.
Frasier: Freddie, why are you dressed like this?
Daphne: (still smiling) He's a Goth now.
Freddie: You all don't have to treat me like I'm some kind of freak.
Martin: No, we're not, Freddie. It's great to see you.
Martin: Hey Fras, how'd the big shoot go?
Frasier: Well, it went splendidly, Dad. I thought you were going with Niles to the airport to pick up Freddie.
Martin: Yeah, I decided to stay home, do some decorating.
Frasier: Ah yes, that magical time of year when the Great Wall of China and my apartment are the only two man-made structures visible from space.
Frasier: (overcome by her accent) I'm "een!" (they laugh) You know, it's funny, when you called me at the last minute, there was a small, madly insecure part of me that wondered if I was your second choice.
Natalie: No, you weren't the second.
(Frasier pauses, struck by the double meaning there. As Martin turns
back with his coffee, Eddie jumps into Frasier's arms)
Natalie: Nice meeting you.
Martin: You too.
Natalie: Oh, that dog is so precious.
Frasier: Yes, there are times when I could just squeeze him to death!
Natalie: You know, maybe he should be in the spot with you.
Martin: Eddie in a commercial?
Frasier: It's called a spot, Dad.
Natalie: You look so perfect together. He could just sit next to you on the couch.
Frasier: Well, I suppose there's no harm in a little window dressing.
Natalie: The director will love it. I'll call him right now.
(She takes out her cell phone)
Martin: Oh, I don't believe it. (pets Eddie) Eddie's first TV spot.
Frasier: Oh, knock it off. You didn't even know that term until ten seconds ago.
Martin: Oh, not for me.
Roz: Watching your weight?
Martin: Yeah, and it's killing me. But the other night, Ronee made a comment about my "bowl full of jelly."
Roz: Well, everyone puts on a few this time of year.
Frasier: Everyone doesn't sit around reading the newspaper, actually slurping from a bowl full of jelly.
Roz: Well, you look great to me, Martin.
Roz: Merry Christmas.
Martin: They should let everybody be a giant for a day.
Giant For a Day was the title of an album by 70s British progressive rock band Gentle Giant.
Niles' being "high" just because he believes he has eaten a pot brownie, is reminiscent of the Season Four Honeymooners episode, "Head Of The House" in which Ralph and Ed get drunk on grape juice that they believe to be wine. Even that was not the first time the gag was used, however. It originated in the 1930 film Blotto, starring Laurel and Hardy.
The title, of course, refers to the Christmas Holidays and the fact that Martin gets "high". The term "High Holidays", however, normally refers to the Jewish High Holy Days, observed during the 10 day period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
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