Frasier

Season 11 Episode 18

Match Game

1
Aired Unknown Mar 30, 2004 on NBC

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    • Frasier: And so it seems I have dated every woman in Seattle! The well is dry. The cupboard is bare. There are no more fish in the sea. Meanwhile my dad is engaged, my brother is expecting his first child, while I am left to spin aimlessly on the dating hamster wheel.
      Charlotte: You like your metaphors, don't you? Well, don't worry, Frasier. Somewhere in Seattle there's a woman you haven't pissed off, and I'm gonna find her.
      Frasier: You seem awfully sure of yourself.
      Charlotte: I am. I've successfully matched hundreds of couples. So...
      (She motions him to a chair, and sits at her desk with pen and paper)
      Charlotte: What kind of woman are you looking for? And don't just say smart, sexy, and sophisticated.
      Frasier: Why, don't you have any of those?
      (She looks at him expectantly)
      Frasier: All right. Well, it's hard to say what I want. It's been so long since I've really fallen for someone. You know that feeling you get after a first date, when you can't even sleep? You just lie there in bed awake, thinking about her. That's what I want.
      Charlotte: You're going to make me work for my money, aren't you? Uh, by the way, I do require a payment up-front.
      Frasier: Oh, of course.
      Charlotte: My fee's $10,000.
      Frasier: (after a beat) That's awfully steep.
      Charlotte: And those ten years of bad dates, how much did they run you?
      Frasier: (after another beat) I'll write you a check.

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