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Frasier: Something happened the other morning. I asked Dad to pass me a bran muffin. You know what he said? He said "What's the magic word?" (he laughs)
Niles: (laughing) You're kidding!
Frasier: He didn't think it very amusing when I said "rest home".
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Martin: Come on, we've gotta hurry up because the boys are taking us to Hoppy's Old Heidleberg tonight for dinner!
Daphne: Oh, great, German food. We whipped the Jerries twice this century and they still have the last laugh.
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Waitress: I'm sorry, sir, no dogs allowed.
Martin: (waves his hand around, faking blindness) What?
Waitress: Oh, I'm sorry.
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Niles: Wow, he's really handsome isn't he?
Frasier: Wow? Did you say 'wow'?
Niles: Good Lord I did. I don't think I've ever said 'wow' when describing another man before. I wonder if that means something.
Frasier: Oh, absolutely. (sarcastic) It means you're a gay man. Your life with Maris was a charade and you should have come out of the closet years ago. Are you going to tell dad or shall I? (laughs)
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Niles: Here, take my bumbershoot.
Daphne: Oh, isn't that nice. Well, at least someone appreciates my mother tongue.
Niles: Yes, I've always had an ear for your tongue.
Frasier: NILES!
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Niles: Is that rain?
Frasier: (sarcastic) No, God is crying!