Dr. Frasier Crane
Daphne Moon Crane
Dr. Niles Crane
Dr. Lilith Sternin
Frederick Gaylord Crane
In this episode we learn that Noel Shempsky can speak Hebrew. In Season Six's "Roz, A Loan" we learn that he speaks Spanish. If you include Klingon, that means that Noel speaks four languages.
Following Frederick's reading and his parents' speeches, the rabbi concludes the service and says that dinner will be served in twenty minutes. However, the reading that Frederick is implied to have chanted is a haftarah, which is said at the Saturday morning service. As such, it makes little sense that they would be serving dinner so shortly afterward. Furthermore, the haftarah is read approximately half-way through the service, and there should likely have been close to an hour left to the prayer service at this point.
Lilith is shown wearing a hat to the synagogue service. However, although it is a common custom for women to wear a hat or other hair covering to synagogue, such a mode of dress would seem extremely out of place at a congregation that would have co-ed seating and would allow microphones and photography on the Sabbath, such as the one featured in this episode. Furthermore, even where this custom is followed, hats would only be worn by married women.
Following Frasiers "blessing" in Klingon, the rabbi says that although he doesn't know how they say blessings in outer space, what we say here is "Ahava v'Shalom - Love and Peace." However, although ahava v'shalom does in fact translate to "love and peace" (in Hebrew), this is by no means a traditional Jewish blessing or greeting.
Noel ask Frasier if he's ready for yeshiva, and tells him that it means "school". However, a yeshiva is not simply a school, but is actually a typically all-male institution for immersion in advanced religious and biblical studies.
Noel says that Scott Bakula is appearing at a Star Trek convention in Seattle. However, Scott Bakula's first convention appearance was not until August 2006 in Las Vegas.
The words Frederick recites in Hebrew at the beginning of the bar mitzvah scene, are, in fact, the correct last words of the concluding blessing recited following a 'haftarah' - the reading typically done at a bar mitzvah. Frederick then sings the word "ameyn" (the Hebrew word from which the English word "amen" is taken). However, "ameyn" is a congregational response, and should not be said by the person actually saying the blessing. As such, Frederick should not have said it, but everyone else should have but didn't.
Frederick turns 13 in this episode, but he was already 13 in the Season 8 episode "Cranes Unplugged". However, he should be 13, as he was born in November 1989 on "Cheers". He was aged too rapidly for a while, but the writers now seem to have corrected this.
Niles: (referring to his one night stand with Lilith) And remember, I was drunk!
Daphne: Well you'd have to be, wouldn't you! Oh, I'm sorry Dr.Crane.
Frasier: Don't be, drinking certainly did take the edge off!
Lilith: Can you forgive me?
Freddie: Yeah, for everything but naming me "Gaylord." (they hug)
Lilith: Which one of us do you suppose humiliated him more?
Frasier: Oh, I think I did. I've been trying to console myself with the idea that without embarrassing parents, there'd be no psychology. Poor kid.
Lilith: Actually, today he is a man.
Frasier: (putting his arm around her) He is, isn't he?
Gendler: (approaching them and taking their hands) Mazel Tov. You must be very proud - of your son, not yourselves.
Lilith: (as he exits) We are, thank you, Rabbi.
Daphne: Oh, that was lovely.
Gendler: What was that gobbledygook?
Frasier: Well, it's-it's a blessing for my son, "Pookh Lod Wih Le Koo."
Gendler: That means nothing. It's gibberish.
Jeremy: That's not gibberish. It's Klingon.
Frasier: Oh, dear God!
JeremyFreddie's Dad just blessed him in Klingon.
Frasier: (mortified) I'm terribly sorry. I... I... will you excuse me, please?
(He quickly runs out of the hall. Everybody, including the Rabbi, can't contain their amusement)
Gendler: Okay, everybody. It's better to end with laughter than tears. I don't know how they say it in outer space, but here we say (putting his hands toward Freddie's head) ahava and shalom - Love and Peace. Dinner will be served in the multi-purpose room in twenty minutes.
(The Rabbi shakes Freddie's hand and walks off. Jeremy approaches him)
Jeremy: Hey that was awesome, Gaylord.
Freddie: Shut up, Berman.
Jeremy: Seriously, your dad's Klingon is really good.
Freddie: What did he say?
Jeremy: Well, roughly translated, it says, "My dearest son, each day you redeem me. May your journey be filled with the same joy, wisdom, and purpose you have given mine." It's a lot more beautiful in the original Klingon, but it's still really cool.
Lilith: Thank you. I am very proud to participate in the coming-of-age ritual of my son, Frederick Gaylord Crane.
(A boy laughs at this, interrupting)
Jeremy: (catching himself) Oh.
Lilith: Frederick, on this momentous occasion, I can only look at you and see that innocent, chubby-legged toddler who once danced naked at the Boston Pops... the little boy whose favorite dish was "buh-sghetti."
(Freddie covers his face in embarrassment)
Lilith: I can't count the number of bedtimes we spent cuddled together reading The Cat in the Hat.
(Freddie looks up at her in disbelief)
Lilith: "The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play, so we sat in the house on that cold, cold wet day."
(Frasier is also bemused by Lilith's antics. Lilith breaks into tears. The Rabbi tries to console them)
Lilith: Don't grow up! Not yet!
(She emotionally hugs Freddie)
Daphne: (to Niles) Nice girlfriend you've got there.
Niles: If you're trying to embarrass me, it's not going to work.
(However, that ship sails when a very emotional Martin leans across and
Martin: Come here, Daddy's little peanut man.
Frasier: (leading Lilith back to her seat) It'll be all right.
Roz: Wow. A wig? That's cruel even for Frasier.
Noel: Cruel? It's only the wig Joan Collins wore in Star Trek Twenty-Eight, "City on the Edge of Forever." It's probably still got her DNA in it.
Roz: (reading Frasier's note) "Dear Noel. I hope this begins to repay you for your great kindness to me, especially in light of my negligence. Your friend, Frasier Crane."
Noel: He called me "friend"?
Roz: That's really sweet of him.
(Noel, looking very guilty and remorseful, grabs his cell phone)
Noel: I've got to call him before he delivers his speech.
Roz: You taught him dirty words in Hebrew, didn't you?
Noel: Uh, not quite. They're the same words, but they're in Klingon.
Roz: From Star Trek? That's not even real.
Noel: It's the fastest growing language on the planet! This is what you people don't understand. (becoming passionate) A man named Gene Roddenberry had a vision...
Roz: CALL HIM!
Frasier: Long story short, you see, I attended an art opening and a luncheon on Saturday, and even though I left the luncheon early the traffic on the way to the convention was just awful and by the time I got there, Mr. Bakula and all the others had gone.
Noel: (deeply distressed) No...! You made a promise and you welshed on it! Why'd you do it, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: It's not really such a big deal is it, Noel?
Noel: It's a huge deal! Who knows when I'll get to see Scott Bakula again? I'll be the laughingstock of my clan!
Frasier: Noel, try to remem... clan? No, never mind, never mind! Noel, surely you realize that Star Trek is just a TV show.
Noel: So was Brideshead Revisited!
Frasier: (furious, then) You're angry, so I'm going to ignore that. But with all due respect, Noel, perhaps weaning yourself off science fiction might be the first step toward achieving a genuine, meaningful, grownup person's life! (realizing his voice has risen) Just a friendly suggestion.
Noel: You're right. You did your best and that's good enough for me.
Frasier: Thank you, Noel. So, you'll still be my tutor?
Frasier: Good man. Thank you. (tapping his shoulder) I'll see you tomorrow.
Noel: (menacingly) Oh, yes, you will see me tomorrow. And by the rings of Septaurus Five you will pay, Dr. Crane. You... (he stops as Kenny walks by) Oh hi, Kenny! ...will pay!
Frasier: In a complete drunken stupor...
Martin: Totally stinko...
Niles: Yes... I had an unplanned, uh, and instantly regretted, uh, night of amore... with Lilith.
Daphne: A one-nighter?
Niles: (stupidly) Of amore.
(Martin and Frasier look at each other in discomfort)
Niles: Well, it was after Maris, and long before you. In fact, it's pretty funny when you think about it.
(He laughs nervously. Frasier and Martin join. Daphne is not amused)
Niles: And remember, I was drunk.
Daphne: You'd have to be, wouldn't you? (realizing) Oh, sorry, Frasier.
Frasier: Oh no, drinking definitely took the edge off.
Daphne: And when were you planning on sharing this interesting bit of information with me?
Niles: Soon... very soon... never.
Niles: I have two tickets to the Udo Fritzenheim show at the museum tomorrow, not to mention an invitation for lunch with the artist afterwards.
Frasier: (excited) Oh, are you serious, Niles? Lunch with a Dada master! Oh, I'd love to come! But I can't. I have other plans. I promised Noel Shempsky I'd do a favor for him and I've got to remain true to my word. Although perhaps I could go to the show, leave the luncheon early and still fulfill my commitment.
Niles: (handing him the sherry) Oh yes, of course you could.
Frasier: Yeah, you're right, Niles. There. (they toast) You know, itwas at a Fritzenheim show in Boston where Freddie first said the word "Dada." I remember swelling with pride thinking that perhaps he was an art history savant, but of course Lilith deflated my enthusiasm by pointing out that he was probably just referring to me.
Daphne: What is that?
Martin: My good old Scheerblad-7XK
Niles: The blindingest, noisiest, fifteen-pound camera ever produced in the former Soviet Union!
Martin: Can you believe it? Somehow it got buried deep down in storage. But, Eddie and I found it just in time for the Bar Mitzvah.
Daphne: What smells like burning plastic?
Martin: Oh, that means the flash unit's working.
Niles: (still blinking it off) I thought the retina-scorching flash meant that the flash unit was working.
Martin: Not always.
Niles: I still remember the night of my junior prom. Dad wanted to get a nice close-up of me and Margaret Coover. Unfortunately he got a little too close and the heat from the flash seared the gold plating off Margaret's necklace onto her skin.
Frasier: Noel! How did you know I would do it?
Noel: What do you mean?
Frasier: Well, you must have known I would do this for you, or you wouldn't be carrying around a picture of Scott Bakula, right?
Noel: (playing along, but confused) Right.
Noel: Great! The Seattle Star Trek convention is this weekend, and all the Enterprise captains are making an appearance. I need Scott Bakula's autograph to make my collection complete.
Frasier: Noel, isn't this something you could do yourself?
Noel: I would, but William Shatner's restraining order against me is still in effect. It's so stupid. It wasn't even a real phaser.
Frasier: Noel, don't you have any friends that could do this for you?
Noel: Trust me, there are no friends in the world of Star Trek autography.
Frasier: I see. Well, then, consider it done.
Noel: Well, thank you so much!
(He opens his backpack and gets a publicity photo of Bakula in his garb
as Captain Archer)
Frasier: Now, be sure to keep it in this acid-free covering until the actual signing, and if you must handle it, use these cotton gloves.
Frasier: (taking them) Okay.
Noel: You'll be the hit of the Bar Mitzvah, I promise. And don't be surprised if you get caught up in the fun of the convention, too.
Frasier: (patiently) Yeah, I'll try to pace myself.
Noel: Thanks again, Dr. Crane.
Roz: Hey, Frasier.
Frasier: Hey, Roz.
Roz: Freddie's so sweet. He sent me an invitation to his Bar Mitzvah. (she produces the invitation)
Frasier: Yes, apparently the people of Washington state have made quite an impression on him.
Kenny: Hey, Doc!
Kenny: I can't tell you how touched I am that Freddie invited me to his Bar Mitzvah.
Frasier: He did?
Kenny: Yeah! What a great kid! That's your son, right?
Frasier: Yes. I wasn't aware that you two had met.
Kenny: We haven't. Eh, I guess he's probably heard his share of Kenny stories.
Frasier: (chuckling) Yeah. From whom?
Kenny: You sly kidder. It sounds like a hoot, but if I don't find someone to drive with me to Boston and share a tent on the way, I probably won't be able to afford to go.
Kenny: Fun drive, I bet.
Frasier: (nodding) Hmm.
Kenny: I guess I can just send him something.
Frasier: I think he'd like that. Thanks, Kenny.
Lilith: Here we are. File A, slide sheet 1, image 1 of subject Frederick G. Crane.
Lilith: (showing him the slide sheet) Here you are, just an hour after being wrestled from my grudging womb.
Lilith: You know, if you'd like there's still time to include this in your Bar Mitzvah video.
Freddie: Thanks, but I just want to get through this thing with as little humiliation as possible.
Lilith: (going through a box) Oh, look at this! Your hospital cap. The very combed cotton that swaddled your little...(voice breaking) head.
(Lilith's emotional reaction is very minor, but somehow, for her it
Freddie: Are you okay?
Lilith: Of course I am. It's only natural that there should be some emotional upheaval caused by the impending shift in our relationship. I knew it would come, I just wasn't expecting such a roller coaster. (she pauses briefly) All done. Is this your guest list? Oh, I didn't realize you wanted to invite so many friends. I don't even know some of these people. And why are you inviting Jeremy Berman? I thought you told me he's the biggest nerd in your class.
Freddie: He's not so bad. Besides, the more people you invite, the more presents you get.
Lilith: Frederick... a Bar Mitzvah is a rite of passage, not an opportunity for you to collect presents.
Freddie: I'm sorry. You're right. I'll try to trim it down.
Noel: Hi, Roz. You've never worn that sweater on a Tuesday before.
Roz: I've asked you to take your hands out of your pockets when you talk to me.
Frasier: Surely you realize that Star Trek is just a TV show.
Noel: So was Brideshead Revisited!
Frasier: You're angry! So I'm going to ignore that.
Frederick was born November 1989 on "Cheers". He turned 11 in January 1999, yet is back to his original age of 13 in this episode.
In this episode, Frederick's middle name is revealed to be Gaylord.
This episode aired at 9:30 PM because of a special 90- minute Fear Factor.
Episode Title: Star Mitzvah
This combines the title of the TV series (and movies) Star Trek with "Bar Mitzvah", since Frasier ends up giving Frederick's Bar Mitzvah speech in Klingon.
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