Freddie

Freddie: Of all the women that have invaded my space; I like you the best. Zoey: Probably because I take the least amount of room.

Zoey: You should just marry Kaitlyn. and then Emma can be your daughter and you can do everything with her instead of me Freddie: What? Zoey (crying): It's okay. I'll be fine. I'll just spend more time with grandma. I'll just spend more time with grandma. She keeps asking me to keep brushing her hair until she falls asleep.

Freddie: I'll be your best friend. Emma: I'll be your best friend. Freddie: Are you mocking me? Emma: Are you mocking me? God you're annoying. Freddie: God you're annoying. Emma: Don't do that! Freddie: Don't do that! Emma: Quit it! Freddie: Quit it! Zoey: Freddie's a jerk. Freddie: See it only works with two people.

Chris: The orginial recipe call for 3/4 cup of flour, but there's going to be like twenty kids there. So we need to double that. so how much flour do we need. Emma: I don't know? a thousand? Chris: I don't know either. So we'll just try a thousand. if it's too much we'll just add some water.

Freddie: Help me convince Emma that I'm a good guy, so I can date her mom. Zoey: How do you know her mom wants to date you? Freddie: She presented her bottom to me. You've seen the animal channel. Do I really have to explain this?

Kaitlyn: I teach strip aerobics. Freddie: That's a great idea. The one thing I hate is a stripper who has to take a knee.

Sally: I think I've dated every liar in Chicago. Chris: That's hard to believe. You seem so together and confidant. Sally: You think so? Chris: No. That's the kind of crap you need to stop believing.

Chris: She's right. It's totally different dating a single mom. Sophia: Thank you Chris. Chris: You gotta wait until the kid's asleep. You gotta be quiet during sex. You gotta be ready to cut and run. Sweat pants, nothing with a zipper. Sophia: Do you wonder why I won't date you. Chris: So you've been thinking about it?

Sally: Hi. I'm Mandy's mom. Who are you? Chris: Oh, I'm Chris. I'm Mandy's love doctor.

Chris: I forgot to give Mandy her cell phone back last night. I've been texting Kyle all night. Check it out I got him up to four crying faces. I haven't LOL'd like this in a really long time.

Mandy: Why would he lie? Chris: He's a guy, it's the only weapon we have. You girls have all the power until you hit middle age and then you have to compete with younger women for the limited number of successful males.