Freddie

Chris: Hey where did Denise go? Freddie: Hawaii. Chris: Wow. My girl just left the apartment. Yours left the country.

Chris: Psst. I can't get the batter to stay in the waffle iron. It keeps sliding down onto the counter Freddie: Are you sure you're not using the George Forman Grill?

Chris: Did you tell Denise the number last night? Freddie: I wrote it down on a piece of paper and asked her to read when she got home. Chris: what? no, dude you write it down that's evidence. If you just tell her it's hearsay. It's not admissable. Freddie: No you told kristen and she still walked out on you. Chris: But I thought she was slutty enought to handle the real number.

Freddie: What about women on international waters? I mean shouldn't duty free be booty free?

Chris: Ok. Were any of these chicks girls you took for the team so I could score? Because that's charity. Freddie: And charity is a deduction.

Chris: Were there any nights where you had a few too many and you woke next to a woman and you weren't really sure what happened? Freddie: Yea. Chris: Well here's what happened. Nothing. All right it's like getting cash tips you don't have to report it.

Chris: Alright so what's your total. How many women have you been with? Freddie: Well I think I got it. I broke it down by year and place. Chris: Fall '99 was very good to you my friend. Freddie: Yea. It was all that Y2K panic tail.

Freddie: What's your angle you blue haired grifter? Grandma: I'll babysit while she's at work. And if the baby feels rejected and hates its mother, what can I do?

Freddie: Grandma no! (Grandma hugs Denise) Denise: Freddie it's a hug Freddie: no, no no no no. She's just measuring you to see how big a wood-chipper she needs.

Freddie: Lets say we get married some day. how long would you want to work before we started a family Denise: I don't know... 4-5 years (Grandma shakes her head) Freddie: What's wrong with that? Grandma: Three years. And you name the baby after me. Freddie: Deal. Boy or girl we'll call it grandma.