Free Agents

Season 1 Episode 2

Episode 2

Aired Friday 10:00 PM Feb 20, 2009 on Channel 4
out of 10
User Rating
4 votes

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Episode Summary

Just before Valentine's day, Helen posts Alex's personal details on a dating website, leading to an old girlfriend connecting with Alex again.

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  • Slightly better than last week's.

    Now the characters have had a bit of time to settle down they are starting to seem a little less over the top. Stephen is, though. Alex and Helen were calmer. I enjoyed the moment when Helen was trying to let Stephen know what his date might like and trying to persuade him to ditch the lad's mags. The Valentine's day date in the restaurant was quite well done too. There is still a lot of extreme language in this and not enough laughter. Swearing is not necessarily funny, particularly in such large doses.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (9)

    • Stephen: (to Helen): I don't know much about dating but I'm pretty sure that when your Lonely Heart turns up the last person you had sex with isn't supposed to be there eating the sodding breadsticks.

    • Helen: I'm sure Lizzie would be happy to glance through "Elle", but she could probably do without ... "Big Titted Mamas". I think it's time to bin the porn.
      Stephen: I couldn't. That one was Daddy's. "Shaven Havens" was left to me by Great Uncle William. I don't think you understand. Generations of my family have jizzed up over those jazz mags.

    • Alex: I need a girlfriend. I need to move in with someone as soon as frigging possible.
      Helen: Yeah, alright, alright, calm down.
      Alex: That's fine for you to say, you're not renting a room of the presenter of "How Clean Are My Sex Toys".

    • Stephen: (talking about boarding school) A lot of girls leave deeply neurotic, sexually confused, mad as a box of snakes. They're obviously my favourites.

    • Stephen: I've fallen in love. Seriously, it's a disaster, it's the first time in eons I haven't fucked on the first date.
      Alex: Set up that second date as soon as possible, and this time make sure you nail her, you pansy.
      Stephen: Do you want a good slapping?

    • Stephen: I'm off to my boarding school survivors group. You should come, you faggot. No better place to pick up posh but exquisitely damaged totty.
      Alex: I'll bear it in mind.

    • Alex: Oh, what, so I'm some sort of dating guinea pig? I meet someone decent and don't get murdered in my bed by some Internet junkie axewoman, then you'll give it a go?
      Helen: That's about the size of it.

    • Helen: Look what Auntie Helen's cooked up to help you with your love life. Boyfriends With Baggage dot com. I nicked a photo from your office and I posted your details. It's a website for people who've knocked around a bit. People who've been through the shit. Victims, survivors, mainly middle aged but ...
      Alex: Oh great, you've introduced me to a bunch of fortysomething fuck ups. I can't wait to open my Inbox.
      Helen: I'm just trying to help, you know. I thought if I can't face being your girlfriend, the least I can do is to sort you out with someone who can.

    • Alex: I guess I could give in to consumerism and get you some crotchless panties for Valentine's. That black satin bustier?
      Helen: Sure. By all means spend a lot of money you don't have on underwear you'll never get to see me in.
      Alex: Fine, alright. Forget the frillies.

  • NOTES (0)


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