Free Radio

Season 1 Episode 7

Lance Gets a Bodyguard

Aired Thursday 11:00 PM Mar 14, 2008 on VH1
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Episode Summary

Lance Gets a Bodyguard
Lance must hire a bodyguard to protect himself after he ticks off the wrong listener, but he ends up having trust issues with the bodyguard. Guests on the radio show include Bob Saget and Omarion.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Lance: What happened to your neck?
        James: Oh I injured it when I tried to kill you.
        Lance: Oh.
        James: Yeah.

      • Bob Saget: (to Lance) You've sniffed your poo dude?

      • Lance: (to Danneel Harris, who said she's from Louisiana) Do you still have a house or did it get blown up, in the, in the hurricane?
        Anna: Blown up?
        Lance: Or washed away or whatever.

      • Cop: Tell me about this uh bodyguard. Where'd you find him?
        Lance: Uh, craigslist.
        Cop: Craigslist?
        Lance: Mhm.
        Cop: For a bodyguard.
        Lance: Yeah.
        Cop: Okay. Were there any pictures of him?
        Lance: Yeah, there's uh, there's like four pictures of him. Mostly like, him topless. One in a pool, one he was on a hammock. Oh there was this really cool picture of him with a python. It was just, I guess just to show how intimidating he was.
        Cop: Okay uh, sir, you realize that most people that advertise on craigslist, especially when they do man seeking man kind of thing, it's, it's for male prostitutes?

      • Natasha Lyonne: I'm kinda into you. Maybe it's just that I know you're not that bright and I can make you do stuff, you know?

      • Lance: So you're like, kind of kinky. I didn't know that.
        Natasha Lyonne: Nooo.
        Lance: Yeah.
        Natasha Lyonne: I'm just into stuff, you know what I mean? You call it kinky, I call it awesome.

      • Listener: I'm number ten?
        Lance: Hell yeah you are!
        Listener: Alright!
        Lance: What are you gonna buy with the winnings?
        Listener: Oh, dude, I'm gonna pay off student loans. For sure, this is a life saver.
        Lance: Well guess what? You're caller number nine. You didn't win. (laughs)
        Listener: What? Are you, are you serious?
        Lance: Yes, no. No you didn't-- no you didn't win. I was--
        Listener: Seriously?
        Lance: I was joking I--
        Listener: Why would you do that dude? That's like a total d*** move. What, are you-- are you retarded?
        Lance: What? No. Maybe if you, spend less time talking to me and hangin' up, maybe you'd win it.
        Listener: No, maybe I should spend my f****n' time going down there to your f****n' studio and kickin' your f****n' ass is what I should do.
        Anna: Okay, sir, you can't--
        Listener: Cut your face off!

    • NOTES (1)

      • Featured Music:
        "Crazy Is As Crazy Does" by Alright, Alright
        "You, Me and The Bourgeoisie" and "1940" by The Submarines
        "1978" and "Dirty White Fingernails" by Bloodcat Love
        "No Brainer (Instrumental)" by Oliver Future
        "This Old Machine" by Coconut Records

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

    • 9:00 pm
      What Would You Do?
    • 10:00 pm
      Dateline NBC