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NBC (ended 2004)

Chandlers best joke

  • Avatar of stellarchick86

    stellarchick86

    [81]Apr 25, 2008
    • member since: 10/04/07
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    I love Chandlers smart-a$$ comments. I love TOW The Apothacary Table after Janine has said Monicas loud and Chandlers boring and hes 'blah' and Joey comes in and is like hey what are you guys up to and he goes "oh ya know..sitting around and BLA BLA BLA"
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  • Avatar of mich_duncan_hbk

    mich_duncan_hbk

    [82]Apr 29, 2008
    • member since: 08/23/07
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    in tow the blind dates where rachel asks him and monica to babysit emma

    rachel: hey what are you doing guys?

    chandler: reading the obituary

    later on after rachel has asked and leaves and has told them all the annoying things emma does now

    chandler: suddenly i which i was reading my own name
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  • Avatar of greenparadox

    greenparadox

    [83]Sep 1, 2008
    • member since: 09/01/08
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    "KIDS, KIDS! Roll your way to childhood obesity"

    Chandler: Ugh...that's all she talks about, Richard" Richard! Richard!
    Monica: Since we've been going out I've only mentioned Richard's name twice
    Chandler: Okay...Richard! Richard!

    Chandler: Well, she wasn't sleeping with Nick...but she is now
    Rachel: What are you saying?
    Chandler: What I'm saying is she...is a devil woman!

    Ross: Did that guy just called you Toby?
    Chandler: Yeah, he thinks that's my name
    Ross: Why don't you correct him?
    Chandler: Oh no, it's been going on for awhile now. The first time we just passed each other on the hallways so I didn't think any of it. The second time he asked "Hey Toby! you want a donut?" and...I wanted the donut
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  • Avatar of free_the_WM3

    free_the_WM3

    [84]Sep 1, 2008
    • member since: 04/18/07
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    wow, so hard to choose! a few that i love are

    Rachel: Dont set me up with anyone from accountign, i don't like guys with boring jobs
    Chandler: and Ross was like what, a lion tamer?

    In the episode where Ross breaks the little girls' leg and when Ross says he is going to see her chandler says:
    Chandler: Watch out kids, he's comming!"

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  • Avatar of grace87

    grace87

    [85]Oct 6, 2008
    • member since: 02/10/07
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    He has so many jokes.. it's difficult to pick just one..
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  • Avatar of greenparadox

    greenparadox

    [86]Oct 12, 2008
    • member since: 09/01/08
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
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    In addition to my previous posts....

    Ross: Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realizes that life without me...a-sucks
    Chandler: It's possible. You are very loveable, I'd miss you if I broke up with you (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
    Ross: Then be supposrtive like a guy
    Chandler: in a deep voiceIf I broke up with you, I'd miss you lol

    Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
    Chandler: That was you?! I thought it was Jack!
    Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
    Chandler: What?! Why does she think that?
    Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did.
    Chandler: Again, what?!
    Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand…
    Chandler: As we all are at some point during the day.
    Joey: It wasn't my ring! It fell out of Ross's jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
    Chandler: Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?
    Joey: I guess.
    Chandler: And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!
    Joey: I know! I know it's awful.
    Chandler: Well, what did she say?
    Joey: (happily) She said yes.
    Chandler: You're smiling!
    Joey: (still smiling) No, I'm not!
    Chandler: Yes you are! I can tell by the way you're mouth is!

    that whole conversation was too awesome!!!! lol

    Monica: So, are you ready to go?
    Cassie: Yeah.
    (She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say can't help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
    Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
    Chandler: (transfixed) I'll be right with you.

    lol that was hilarious!

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  • Avatar of brandon--16

    brandon--16

    [87]Nov 28, 2008
    • member since: 07/17/07
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
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    When Ross asks Chandler to keep Joey away from the babysitter:

    Chandler: You know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
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  • Avatar of banannie

    banannie

    [88]Dec 3, 2008
    • member since: 10/04/07
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    This one cracks me up every time:

    Ross: Hey who is this Casey? Why's he calling Rachel?
    Chandler: Well I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance... You know make a little love... Well pretty much get down tonight...

    Then there's this one:

    Joey: I'm hungry.
    Phoebe: We could eat the wax. It's organic.
    Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
    Phoebe: No, not the used wax.
    Chandler: Because THAT would be crazy.

    And this one:

    Rachel: Hey, just so you know: it's *not* that common, it *doesn't* "happen to every guy, " and it *is* a big deal!
    Chandler: I *knew* it!

    But there are so many, it's hard to decide which one's the best.

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  • Avatar of babe02

    babe02

    [89]Dec 12, 2008
    • member since: 12/28/07
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    He's just so awesome!!! i love everything he says
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  • Avatar of chocoholic411

    chocoholic411

    [90]Feb 20, 2009
    • member since: 10/19/06
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    I love the one where Chandler applys for an advertising job-
    cheese, its the milk you can chew
    crackers, because your cheese needs a buddy
    bagels and doughnuts, round food for every mood
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  • Avatar of aditrs

    aditrs

    [91]Feb 22, 2009
    • member since: 10/19/08
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    Phones - bringing you closer to other people... who also have phones... and

    Trousers - Like shorts... but longer

    LOL
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  • Avatar of ramo_zz

    ramo_zz

    [92]Feb 23, 2009
    • member since: 01/06/08
    • level: 16
    • rank: Church Lady
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    free_the_WM3 wrote:

    wow, so hard to choose! a few that i love are

    Rachel: Dont set me up with anyone from accountign, i don't like guys with boring jobs
    Chandler: and Ross was like what, a lion tamer?

    In the episode where Ross breaks the little girls' leg and when Ross says he is going to see her chandler says:
    Chandler: Watch out kids, he's comming!"



    Yeah )) and also in that episode: Chandler: (reading the paper) "Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?"

    so funny
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  • Avatar of thebiggame23

    thebiggame23

    [93]Mar 1, 2009
    • member since: 01/14/09
    • level: 11
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    Joey: Hey!! We are so in luck! Treeger said that we could have all this cool stuff from the basement. Wait right there. (Goes back into the hall)

    Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I'm, I'm paddling away!

    Joey: (Returning carrying a couple of rusted lawn chairs) Huh?!

    Chandler: Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!

    Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!

    (They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joey's bedroom.)

    Chandler: Could we be more white trash?

    This is one of many...
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  • Avatar of aditrs

    aditrs

    [94]Mar 2, 2009
    • member since: 10/19/08
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    In the pilot episode.

    Ross: I just wanna be married again (or something like that)
    (Rachel rushes into Central Perk in a wedding dress)
    Chandler: And *I* want a million dollars!
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  • Avatar of sparkstriff

    sparkstriff

    [95]Mar 2, 2009
    • member since: 03/03/09
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
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    The One With All The Poker:

    Ross: Let me see them

    Rachel: NO!

    Ross: Come on, please

    Chandler: You know, I've had dates like this

    When they are talking about their jobs in front of Rachel in the first episode and Joey says he is an actor:

    Rachel: Would I have seen you in anything?

    Joey: Oh, I doubt it. Mostly regional work.

    Monica: Oh hey Not unless you happened to catch the little one's production of Pinocchio at the little theatre in the park.

    Joey: It was a job, alright

    Chandler:Look, Japeto I 'm a real, live boy

    Joey: I will not take this abuse

    Chandler: Okay, alright Joe. Once I was a wooden boy.

    Joey: Just to let you know, he's a dead man

    Joey: Oh, Chandler.

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  • Avatar of JelloJim12

    JelloJim12

    [96]Mar 4, 2009
    • member since: 05/24/08
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
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    Lol, so many hilarious moments...thanks to everyone for brightening up my day!

    Ross: "I'm meeting Elizabeth's dad today."
    Chandler: "Wait, hold the phone...you're not Elizabeth's dad?!"
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  • Avatar of chandler_fan77

    chandler_fan77

    [97]Mar 5, 2009
    • member since: 12/20/08
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    Monica: (Starts singing swaying her beaded hair back and fourth infront of Chandler) What do you think?

    Chandler: What were you singing?

    Monica: Sfen?

    Chandler: No! That Lord of The Valkaries from Apocalypse Now!

    That always kills me.

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  • Avatar of JelloJim12

    JelloJim12

    [98]Mar 6, 2009
    • member since: 05/24/08
    • level: 4
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    Not sure if this one has been mentioned yet, in TOW The Prom Video, when they're watching Monica from years ago:

    Monica: "Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds!"
    Chandler: "How many cameras were on you?"

    So clever, so hilarious.
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  • Avatar of chandler_fan77

    chandler_fan77

    [99]Mar 8, 2009
    • member since: 12/20/08
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
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    greenparadox wrote:

    Monica: So, are you ready to go?
    Cassie: Yeah.
    (She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say can't help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
    Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
    Chandler: (transfixed) I'll be right with you.

    lol that was hilarious!

    That one always gets me.

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  • Avatar of thebiggame23

    thebiggame23

    [100]Mar 10, 2009
    • member since: 01/14/09
    • level: 11
    • rank: Red Shirted Lt.
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    Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.

    Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.

    Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)

    Chandler: A pen.

    Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?

    Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.

    Joey: Why not?

    Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
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