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NBC (ended 2004)

Dirtiest jokes on Friends

  • Avatar of mangeeh

    mangeeh

    [121]Jun 3, 2008
    • member since: 04/17/08
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    thebeatles772 wrote:
    oh and in TOW Eddie won't go so funny

    Rachel: How do you expect me to grow, if you won't let me blow?
    Ross: You, You know I don't... I don't have a... have a problem with that.


    must be the dirtiest joke that i know of. Love that scene :p
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  • Avatar of Gnomeslayer

    Gnomeslayer

    [122]Jun 16, 2008
    • member since: 05/30/05
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    Rachel: "and just so you know its not the common, it doesn't happen to a lot of guys and it is a big deal!"

    And then Chandler says "I knew it!"

    Just to make sure was Rachel talking about premature stuff or being unable to get it up?

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  • Avatar of cutieflutie1216

    cutieflutie1216

    [123]Jun 17, 2008
    • member since: 04/10/07
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    Gnomeslayer wrote:

    Rachel: "and just so you know its not the common, it doesn't happen to a lot of guys and it is a big deal!"

    And then Chandler says "I knew it!"

    Just to make sure was Rachel talking about premature stuff or being unable to get it up?


    Thanks for keeping it clean! The writers never really specify which one they were referring to.
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  • Avatar of free_the_WM3

    free_the_WM3

    [124]Jun 22, 2008
    • member since: 04/18/07
    • level: 12
    • rank: Evil Bert
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    I dont think this one has been mentioned but one that always makes me crack up is:

    MONICA: That will teach you to lick my muffin!

    i love how chandler cant say anything back at her coz his mouth is full :p

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  • Avatar of tafj73

    tafj73

    [125]Jun 22, 2008
    • member since: 07/17/06
    • level: 30
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    free_the_WM3 wrote:

    I dont think this one has been mentioned but one that always makes me crack up is:

    MONICA: That will teach you to lick my muffin!

    i love how chandler cant say anything back at her coz his mouth is full :p

    Especially since Chandler also can't respond to the dirty thing Rachel said just before that ("So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?") LOL

    Edited on 06/22/2008 9:09pm
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  • Avatar of free_the_WM3

    free_the_WM3

    [126]Jun 23, 2008
    • member since: 04/18/07
    • level: 12
    • rank: Evil Bert
    • posts: 809
    tafj73 wrote:
    free_the_WM3 wrote:

    I dont think this one has been mentioned but one that always makes me crack up is:

    MONICA: That will teach you to lick my muffin!

    i love how chandler cant say anything back at her coz his mouth is full :p

    Especially since Chandler also can't respond to the dirty thing Rachel said just before that ("So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?") LOL

    HAHA yeah i love that whole scene also in tow rachel finds out, the whole "be there for her" conversation is good to. joey is so slow sometimes :p

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  • Avatar of tafj73

    tafj73

    [127]Jul 11, 2008
    • member since: 07/17/06
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    I just watched TOW the 'Cuffs from season 4, and there are quite a few jokes in there:

    1. When Rachel and Chandler were talking about Joanna spending the night, and Joey was making creaking noises to mean the sound of the bed.

    2. Rachel: And the fact that you were jeopardizing my career never entered your mind?!
    Chandler: It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it.....shoot right out.

    3. Rachel: ...And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous.....or very stingy!
    Chandler: Go on.
    Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generation's Milton Berle.
    Chandler: And Milton Berle has a...
    Rachel: Ohh, not compared to you.

    4. At the end, Chandler walks into Central Perk and Monica and Phoebe look at him sort of.....curiously/sexily, then Joey asks what's going on. Then Phoebe whispers something to Joey, and he says "No, he doesn't!" LOL I also crack up every time at the way Monica says "Hello, Chandler" and how she and Phoebe look and smile at him.

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  • Avatar of Ulysses1922

    Ulysses1922

    [128]Jul 12, 2008
    • member since: 07/11/08
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 31
    I know it's really not dirty - but something always struck me as naughty in the pilot episode, when Rachel tells Monica (who's smiling after having spent the night with a guy), "You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth!"
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  • Avatar of grace87

    grace87

    [129]Jul 14, 2008
    • member since: 02/10/07
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    When Rachel cames in at Monica and Chandler's and there's a bagel on the floor.. she asked what kind of game were they playing.. RING TOSS SITUATION..!
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  • Avatar of Fugabutacus

    Fugabutacus

    [130]Jul 25, 2008
    • member since: 08/13/05
    • level: 10
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    Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once??

    --

    Thank you! I've seen this episode a million times but it's always the 8 o'clock repeat and they always cut this out. I guessed with was this but now I know for sure!
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  • Avatar of super_georgiaaa

    super_georgiaaa

    [131]Jul 26, 2008
    • member since: 06/30/08
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 60

    TOW The Free Porn ! Not even a line in general just the whole filthy hilarious episode ! (They couldn't even play it in Australia at 6:00pm !)

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  • Avatar of MncDssctn

    MncDssctn

    [132]Jul 29, 2008
    • member since: 05/20/06
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    Suprised that noone mentioned the line in The One Where Noone Is Ready...

    Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume. Unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
    Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
    Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler, I would like back one of these days.

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  • Avatar of greenparadox

    greenparadox

    [133]Aug 31, 2008
    • member since: 09/01/08
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
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    Joey: Let's do a little word association. I'll say a word and you tell me next thing that comes to your mind. Okay? Pillow.
    Girl: Fight
    Joey: Very good. G.
    Girl: String?
    Joey: Excellent! Last one. Doggie.
    Girl: Kittie!
    Joey: Ooohh...No I'm sorry, wrong answer


    Rachel: No! How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
    Ross: You..know...I don't have any problem with that...sweetie...


    Rachel: See Joey? Unisex
    Joey: Maybe you need sex, I had sex 2 days ago
    Rachel: No, U-N-I sex
    Joey: Ain't gonna say no to that!
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  • Avatar of Elwingda

    Elwingda

    [134]Sep 1, 2008
    • member since: 06/08/08
    • level: 10
    • rank: Holy Level 10!
    • posts: 222
    greenparadox wrote:

    Rachel: See Joey? Unisex
    Joey: Maybe you need sex, I had sex 2 days ago
    Rachel: No, U-N-I sex
    Joey: Ain't gonna say no to that!

    That's brilliant It's so obvious in the way that you start thinking, why have I never thought of the word like that.
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  • Avatar of Robertoide

    Robertoide

    [135]Sep 11, 2008
    • member since: 06/13/08
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 25

    How come no one mentioned that:

    Ross: This is insane, I'm not gonna make love to you just so that you'll go into labor.
    Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl?
    Ross: Always a great way to get in a man's pants.
    Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, y'know you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
    Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.

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  • Avatar of grace87

    grace87

    [136]Sep 23, 2008
    • member since: 02/10/07
    • level: 34
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    When Chandler said: "You don't want a part of me to get any bigger.?" and Monica gave him a weird glance.. lol
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  • Avatar of codename11

    codename11

    [137]Sep 24, 2008
    • member since: 05/16/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 475
    MissEllen wrote:
    When Ross and Joey are looking at the cook book that Rachel used to make her trifle, and discover that the pages are stuck together, and Joey says "Chandler!"


    I was just about to say that one because I listened to the commentary and Marta Kauffman said that was considered one of the dirtiest jokes on friends to her
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  • Avatar of codename11

    codename11

    [138]Sep 24, 2008
    • member since: 05/16/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
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    I don't think anyone mentioned this one...

    Rachel comes back from dinner with herself after Monica convinces her to eat alone in a restaraunt.

    Rachel: I just had a GREAT time with my self!
    Chandler: Well this could be a good story!
    Rachel: At dinner!

    I forgot the line before this one but it's from the same scence.

    Rachel says something about the kind of girl she is Chandler: Are you a naughty girl?

    lol so funny
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  • Avatar of codename11

    codename11

    [139]Sep 24, 2008
    • member since: 05/16/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
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    OH and just watched this one Rachel is hugging Ross In TOW Ross hugs Rachel. His face when he is hugging her.... So dirty! Can't really explain but just watch for it next time you watch the episode.
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  • Avatar of frostzZ

    frostzZ

    [140]Sep 25, 2008
    • member since: 11/05/07
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 205
    MncDssctn wrote:

    Suprised that noone mentioned the line in The One Where Noone Is Ready...

    Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume. Unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
    Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
    Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler, I would like back one of these days.

    Oh I did not get that..anyone can explain that *loosely*? WOW you guys opened my eyes on many lines that went over my head like:

    Rachel: I just had a GREAT time with my self!
    Chandler: Well this could be a good story!
    Rachel: At dinner!

    "It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it.....shoot right out" -- I completely spaced those out..no idea they were dirty LOL

    Edited on 09/25/2008 2:45pm
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