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NBC (ended 2004)

Rachel's best "joke.."

  • Avatar of grace87

    grace87

    [21]Mar 31, 2008
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    rye06p wrote:

    My Fav's Are Rachels One Liners.
    I Cant Think Of Any At The Moment Though.
    But I Think You Know What I Mean.


    i don't..
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  • Avatar of irishwench69

    irishwench69

    [22]Mar 31, 2008
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    Mmmmm a couple!

    (To Ross): Jurrassic Park.......could happen!

    (Also to Ross - or more shouting out in the hallway where he's just stormed out of Rachel / Monica's apartment): And just so you know, it's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy and it IS a big deal!

    x

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    yousifaltaha

    [23]Mar 31, 2008
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    also when she says "how you doin'" she had me laughing for 5 minutes
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  • Avatar of grace87

    grace87

    [24]Apr 1, 2008
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    yeah! and of course the whole naked dancing thing.. and the whole story that lead to get her and Ross drunk..
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    hella_ilieva

    [25]Apr 1, 2008
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    grace87 wrote:
    yeah! and of course the whole naked dancing thing.. and the whole story that lead to get her and Ross drunk..


    Yeah!
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    simsiscool07

    [26]Apr 6, 2008
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    In "The One With the Ride Along" when Ross says he has a 'Near Death Experience' so she says - "That wasn't a near death experience, that was barely even an experience". That makes me laugh every time. LOL
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    simsiscool07

    [27]Apr 6, 2008
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    grace87 wrote:
    shriprema wrote:

    My favourite line?
    Well, its hard to think of any right now...but Rachel was REALLY funny when she was pregnant...it was her golden year for jokes...


    Oh yeah.. i love her during pregnancy..!
    " Seriously Ross.. breath louder!"

    I didn't like her when she was pregnant, she was mean, rude, obnoxious and selfish.
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    simsiscool07

    [28]Apr 6, 2008
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    ramo_zz wrote:
    Yeaaah, Rachel and Ross drunk were hilarious ..i loved them so much in that episode
    Yeh I agree - "HILARIOUS"
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  • Avatar of ramo_zz

    ramo_zz

    [29]Apr 6, 2008
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    Rachel was so funny in this episode and Monica too :d

    Phoebe: (About the painting) Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too.
    Monica: Yeah...
    Rachel: Well, I mean sure, of course, but you already gave that to Monica so...
    Monica: No. I'd give her up for you.
    Rachel: No. I couldn't let you do that.
    Monica: No, but I want to.
    Rachel: But I don't want you to.
    Monica: But I insist!
    Rachel: But I insist harder.

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  • Avatar of ramo_zz

    ramo_zz

    [30]Apr 6, 2008
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    Oh oh and another GOOD ONE:

    Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.

    Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.

    Freaking out Joey, sooo funny

    Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!

    Edited on 04/06/2008 12:05pm
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  • Avatar of SHUCKLEMAN

    SHUCKLEMAN

    [31]Apr 7, 2008
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    ^I love that episode!

    Rachel : She's yours.
    Monica : No, she's yours.
    Phoebe walks in.
    Phoebe : Hey, you don't need to argue about her gets her, because whoever doesn't get her can get this one!
    Phoebe shows an even more ugly painting and Rachel gasps and Monica looks on the verge of death.
    Rachel : She's mine.
    Monica : No, she's mine.
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  • Avatar of Ebs_73

    Ebs_73

    [32]Apr 7, 2008
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    She has so many but one is in TOW rachels other sister 'oh yeah, remember in high school when i didnt give you my baby?' or it was 'died and didnt give you my baby' haha!
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  • Avatar of SHUCKLEMAN

    SHUCKLEMAN

    [33]Apr 7, 2008
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    It's remember in high school when I died, and didn't give you my baby. She's hilarious in that episode.

    Other good Rachel lines from that episode are

    Amy : I've just been crazed lately.
    Rachel : Well, me too. I had a baby.
    Amy : I decorated dad's office.
    Rachel : Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina not the same thing.

    (Knock at the door)
    Rachel : Who is it.
    Voice at the door : Hi Rachel! It's your favorite sister!
    Ross and Rachel : Jill?
    Voice at the door : Amy!
    Rachel : Hide my rings.

    Rachel : She is unbelievale.
    Ross : I know! A phD is just as good as an MD.
    Rachel : Sure, Ross. When I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.

    Rachel : Do you know why I am not giving Emily to you?
    Ross : Er, Emma.
    Rachel : Who's side are you on?

    Amy : You very well know Rachel, that I have been focusing very hard on my career - Rachel : Um, what career?
    Amy : Erm, I'm a decorator.
    Rachel : You decorate dad's office, now your a decorator? Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear.

    Amy : You've always been able to have everything, and I couldn't have anything. Like in Junior High, when you stole Timmy from me.
    Rachel : Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him.
    Amy : That was 20 years ago, get over it.

    Rachel : Truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
    Amy : To what? She's just a lump. Rachel : Clearly, we were wrong.

    Rachel : I would like to invite Amy over for Thanksgiving.
    Ross : Yes, that's a great idea. That'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphillis.
    Rachel : But she has nowhere to go, and she's my sister, and Emma's aunt, and I would like them to bond.
    Ross : Okay, but I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
    Rachel : Well Ross, she may need one we'll just have to make our peace with that.

    Amy : You know Rachel, you have always been jealous of me.
    Rachel : Jealous of what? You lack of responsibility, your immaturity, your total disregard for other people's feelings?
    Amy : Uh, to name a few! You know what I can't believe? That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount a Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail!
    Rachel : Hahaha! It's 45!
    Amy : You think you're so big with your new baby and your small apartement, but I don't think your baby is even that cute.
    (Everybody gasps)
    Ross : Too far Amy, too far.
    Rachel : You take that back.
    Amy : No. Are you gonna make me?
    Rachel : Hey man, I work out!
    Amy : I do platees.
    Rachel : I do yoga.

    Ofcourse, it's Monica's obsession with the plates, Chandler's doubts about making a good father, and Phoebe teaching Joey how to lie to explain his absense at the parade that makes this episode truly what it is, but Rachel is VERY funny in this episode too.
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  • Avatar of grace87

    grace87

    [34]Apr 7, 2008
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    When she and Ross are driving the porches.. and the officer meade her stop because she was driving too fast she started to flirt with him.. and then he asked her if Ross is able to handle a stick, that cracks me up EVERY TIME!!!

    and even when is ross flirting with the officer.. and she sais:"You have a son!"

    Actually I like this whole ep.. from the beginning in Central Perk when she stole the Keys, and in the apartament when she finds out that everybody but her are allowed to drive Monica's Porches!!!!
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  • Avatar of SHUCKLEMAN

    SHUCKLEMAN

    [35]Apr 8, 2008
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    ^The first scene of that episode is so funny!

    Ross : Monica, can I use your Porche?
    Rachel : Wait a second, how come I never get to ride it?
    Monica : Well, Ross is my brother. Plus, he drives so slowly, nothing could happen to it.
    Ross : I don't drive slowly.
    Monica : Okay Ross, just replace the brakelights after you're done.
    Phoebe : That's unfair, I've never driven it. Okay, I've driven it once. Okay, I drive it all the time!
    Rachel : Monica, why won't you let me drive your porche?
    (Joey walks in)
    Joey : Hey Monica! When do I get to drive that Porche again?
    Rachel : You've let Joey drive it!?!

    Rachel's very funny in TOW The Fertility Test.

    Monica : You can't use that free massage. Phoebe hates those corporate massage chains.
    Rachel : This is ridiculous. There are so many things that girl disapproves of. I can't eat veel, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting.

    And another funny Rachel moment is in that episode where she tries to babyproof the apartement, and nobody thinks she'll be able to.

    Rachel : Just because I'm a woman you think I can't do this?
    Joey : Women can, you can't.
    Rachel : Monica, can you tell Joey he's a pig?
    Monica : Joey, you're a pig, and Rachel, you can't do this.
    Rachel : Why not? I found the hardware store all by myself.
    Monica : There is a hardware store right round the corner.
    Rachel : There is a hardware store right round the corner?
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  • Avatar of mileycyrusxx

    mileycyrusxx

    [36]Apr 8, 2008
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    I remember in the Gag Reels on the final dvd that Rachel had a very funny joke they were saying because she and Phoebe couldn't stop laughing. But it was never in any episode. But that would of been funny if they did show it.
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    SHUCKLEMAN

    [37]Apr 8, 2008
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    ^Oh, was this one.

    Rachel : You can throw wet paper towls here.
    Phoebe : At Monica's you can...HAHAHA!

    And that happened about 10 times. lol. It was very funny. I think Phoebe's line was meant to be 'At Monica's you can eat cookies over the sink.'
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  • Avatar of grace87

    grace87

    [38]Apr 8, 2008
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    SHUCKLEMAN wrote:
    ^Oh, was this one.

    Rachel : You can throw wet paper towls here.
    Phoebe : At Monica's you can...HAHAHA!

    And that happened about 10 times. lol. It was very funny. I think Phoebe's line was meant to be 'At Monica's you can eat cookies over the sink.'

    Yep! that was the quote.. but it's funnier in the gag reels..!
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    mileycyrusxx

    [39]Apr 8, 2008
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    Nah not that one, plus that's actually in the show lol

    But Phoebe and Monica are sitting on the couch, I can't remember the lines right now, tomorrow I will watch it and get the lines. I'm to tired now.
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  • Avatar of mileycyrusxx

    mileycyrusxx

    [40]Apr 8, 2008
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    grace87 wrote:
    SHUCKLEMAN wrote:
    ^Oh, was this one.

    Rachel : You can throw wet paper towls here.
    Phoebe : At Monica's you can...HAHAHA!

    And that happened about 10 times. lol. It was very funny. I think Phoebe's line was meant to be 'At Monica's you can eat cookies over the sink.'

    Yep! that was the quote.. but it's funnier in the gag reels..!


    That one is funny though

    but it's not the one I'm talking about
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