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Was Ross in denial when he married emily?

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    friendsfantom11

    [1]Jul 22, 2008
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    Was he still in love with Rachel still when he married Emily?
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    stellarchick86

    [2]Jul 22, 2008
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    Yes.
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    vanlord_52

    [3]Jul 22, 2008
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    Obviously.
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    winkipop69

    [4]Jul 23, 2008
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    Clearly.
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    friendsfantom11

    [5]Jul 23, 2008
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    Ok then. I don't understand if he still loved Rachel why he didn't try to patch things up with her, and in season 5 episode 2 when Rachel tells him she still loves him that he doesn't tell her he still loves her, I know he's married but come on it's Ross and Rachel. Also I heard the actress who plays Emily quit because she was pregnant, I wonder what would of happened if she didn't.
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    MisterMatthews

    [6]Jul 23, 2008
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    No, absolutely not. People who said 'yes' let their own preference for a Ross-Rachel relationship get in the way of the actual storyline in seasons 4 and 5. Ross was absolutely crazy about Emily. You could tell he loved her very much. At no time, there was any indication that he still loved Rachel. He was miserable when Emily wouldn't speak to him after he said the wrong name at the altar. He tried everything he could to contact her and make it up to her. And that was after Rachel had told him she still loved him. Would he do that if he were still in love with Rachel?
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    friendsfantom11

    [7]Jul 23, 2008
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    Thank you. I'm glad someone is honest. Here is a question then, at what point did Ross start loving Rachel again?
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    rebachick94

    [8]Jul 23, 2008
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    There's no way to know what was going through Ross's mind. Ross was very much in love with Rachel and it broke Ross's heart when Rachel wanted to take a break. Feelings like that don't just melt away into thin air. I think Ross was trying to move on from Rachel. He wanted happiness regardless of whether it was with Rachel or not. He fell in love with Emily and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. I think what happened was his feelings for Rachel were just stronger that his feelings for Emily. He was very overwhelmed that Rachel was at his wedding and that's why I think he said the wrong name. I don't think there was a particular moment Ross started loving Rachel again. I think his feelings for her just gradually came back.

    Edited on 07/23/2008 3:26pm
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    hawksie

    [9]Jul 23, 2008
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    I believe he was still in love with Rachel during his relationship with Emily. No denying he had some feelings for her, but I think their relationship in general wasn't as deep as Ross wanted/pretended it to be. When he said the wrong name during the wedding, he was in deep denial after the fact making it out to mean nothing. He only wanted to save his marriage so bad because he didn't want ANOTHER failed marriage.
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    stellarchick86

    [10]Jul 23, 2008
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    hawksie wrote:
    I believe he was still in love with Rachel during his relationship with Emily. No denying he had some feelings for her, but I think their relationship in general wasn't as deep as Ross wanted/pretended it to be. When he said the wrong name during the wedding, he was in deep denial after the fact making it out to mean nothing. He only wanted to save his marriage so bad because he didn't want ANOTHER failed marriage.


    Exactly. Not to mention he was in love with her during HS so you add that on top of what we see on the show. He always it seemed wanted to get back together with her, but she didnt want to get hurt again or whatever so they didnt. Then when she said I love you, it was really bad timing, and he was trying to get through this Emily stuff. So yes, I believe he was the whole time.
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    MisterMatthews

    [11]Jul 24, 2008
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    friendsfantom11 wrote:
    Thank you. I'm glad someone is honest. Here is a question then, at what point did Ross start loving Rachel again?

    I think at the beginning of season 6. He and Rachel got married in Vegas when they were drunk, and Ross pretends he got an annulment, but he's still secretly married to Rachel and he even asks her to move in with him (since Monica and Chandler are going to live together). He keeps insisting it's because he doesn't want to have three failed marriages and denies he's in love with Rachel whenever Phoebe asks.

    But when he and Rachel are finally signing the divorce papers, he says to her: "You've done some pretty stupid stuff too" and he names flying to London when he got married and telling she loved him after he got married. Rachel says: "That's different. I still loved you!" And then Ross says: "Exactly!"... And this is why we know he loves her at the start of season 6.

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    miss_wierd

    [12]Jul 26, 2008
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    friendsfantom11 wrote:
    Was he still in love with Rachel still when he married Emily?


    Oh yeah!!! Very much in denial!
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    miss_wierd

    [13]Jul 26, 2008
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    No, absolutely not. People who said 'yes' let their own preference for a Ross-Rachel relationship get in the way of the actual storyline in seasons 4 and 5. Ross was absolutely crazy about Emily. You could tell he loved her very much. At no time, there was any indication that he still loved Rachel. He was miserable when Emily wouldn't speak to him after he said the wrong name at the altar. He tried everything he could to contact her and make it up to her. And that was after Rachel had told him she still loved him. Would he do that if he were still in love with Rachel?
    =====================================================================

    Wrong wrong wrong. There WAS indication! If he really loved Emily he would not call her by the wrong name when they got married, He wouldn't have any trouble with Emily's demand of not seeing Rachel anymore, and he wouldn't go to his honeymoon with Rachel. So you saying people who said "yes" let their own preferences for a Ross-Rachel relationship to get in the way is not true. It was quite obvious he still loved Rachel.
    Edited on 07/26/2008 3:47pm
    Edited 6 total times.
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  • Avatar of miss_wierd

    miss_wierd

    [14]Jul 26, 2008
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    friendsfantom11 wrote:
    Thank you. I'm glad someone is honest. Here is a question then, at what point did Ross start loving Rachel again?


    It never was gone. He loved her since high school. Rachel and the gang knew that.
    Edited on 07/26/2008 3:49pm
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    heroesfan07

    [15]Jul 26, 2008
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    Yea and it only took what 5 years for him to figure it out.
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    PsyduckRanger

    [16]Jul 26, 2008
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    He loved Emily, but he loved Rachel more. He didn't respond because he simply didn't realise he was still in love with her, like she didn't realise she was still in love with him, until talking to Phoebe. He simply realised much later.
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    MisterMatthews

    [17]Jul 26, 2008
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    miss_wierd wrote:
    Wrong wrong wrong. There WAS indication! If he really loved Emily he would not call her by the wrong name when they got married,

    Isn't it possible he said 'Rachel' because he had just saw her, when she had previously said she would not attend the wedding? He was surprised to see her, because he didn't expect it. And then he misspoke. It's just typical Ross to mess up and get into awkward situations. When Rachel thought there was more behind it than a slip of the tongue, Monica convinced her she was wrong.

    miss_weird wrote:
    He wouldn't have any trouble with Emily's demand of not seeing Rachel anymore,

    As if love for Rachel could be the only reason. Rachel had been a close friend of his for a very long time. Besides, if he stopped seeing Rachel, his whole group of friends would likely have disintegrated. So that's a tough decision to make. And remember: he DID promise Emily not to see Rachel anymore. He only broke that promise when Emily said she would be controlling him all the time. Emily didn't have any faith in Ross anymore and THAT'S the reason the marriage failed.

    miss_weird wrote:
    and he wouldn't go to his honeymoon with Rachel.

    In fact, he didn't go. He offered it to Rachel, but the minute he saw Emily, he abandoned Rachel on a plane to Greece. How much love is in that?

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    AlyssaR0528

    [18]Jul 26, 2008
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    I think Ross had lingering feelings for Rachel when he dated and married Emily. That being said, when Ross married Emily, I think he loved her (Emily)... but not enough to have a lasting marriage.

    Ross and Rachel dated for over a year, and during that time, contemplated a serious future together (marriage, kids, etc.). When Ross met Emily, I don't think he was still in love with Rachel, but he clearly still had lingering feelings for her, and that is only natural after such a serious relationship. However, this probably meant it was too soon for him to marry someone else.

    Nevertheless, I think Ross really did love Emily when he proposed and when they got married... but not enough to make the marriage last. There are different kinds of love. Sometimes two people are together and in love but their relationship just isn't... "it."

    I think this was illustrated when Ross tried to win Emily back. He went to great lengths to try to make his marriage work... but he seemed more concerned about not having another failed marriage than about not having Emily in his life.

    Two relevant scenes come to mind: when Emily gives Ross her ultimatum, as Ross agonizes over the decision he lists his choices: he can save his marriage and lose one of his best friends, or keep his friend and get divorced for the second time before he's 30. I thought it was extremely significant that as Ross performed this "balancing test," not wanting to live without Emily didn't enter the equation.

    The other scene was when Ross told Rachel they couldn't see each other any more. He tells her he doesn't want to cut her out of his life, but he has to to make his marriage work -- and he emphasizes that he has to make this marriage work. Again, he seemed more concerned about his marriage track record than about living the rest of his life without Emily.

    So no, I don't think Ross was in denial about his feelings for Rachel when he married Emily. He still had lingering feelings for Rachel, but he was no longer in love with her. Ross was in love with Emily, but their bond wasn't strong enough to last a lifetime. When it came down to it, Ross was more concerned about his marriage track record than the marriage itself.

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    free_the_WM3

    [19]Jul 26, 2008
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    AlyssaR0528 wrote:

    I think Ross had lingering feelings for Rachel when he dated and married Emily. That being said, when Ross married Emily, I think he loved her (Emily)... but not enough to have a lasting marriage.

    Ross and Rachel dated for over a year, and during that time, contemplated a serious future together (marriage, kids, etc.). When Ross met Emily, I don't think he was still in love with Rachel, but he clearly still had lingering feelings for her, and that is only natural after such a serious relationship. However, this probably meant it was too soon for him to marry someone else.

    Nevertheless, I think Ross really did love Emily when he proposed and when they got married... but not enough to make the marriage last. There are different kinds of love. Sometimes two people are together and in love but their relationship just isn't... "it."

    I think this was illustrated when Ross tried to win Emily back. He went to great lengths to try to make his marriage work... but he seemed more concerned about not having another failed marriage than about not having Emily in his life.

    Two relevant scenes come to mind: when Emily gives Ross her ultimatum, as Ross agonizes over the decision he lists his choices: he can save his marriage and lose one of his best friends, or keep his friend and get divorced for the second time before he's 30. I thought it was extremely significant that as Ross performed this "balancing test," not wanting to live without Emily didn't enter the equation.

    The other scene was when Ross told Rachel they couldn't see each other any more. He tells her he doesn't want to cut her out of his life, but he has to to make his marriage work -- and he emphasizes that he has to make this marriage work. Again, he seemed more concerned about his marriage track record than about living the rest of his life without Emily.

    So no, I don't think Ross was in denial about his feelings for Rachel when he married Emily. He still had lingering feelings for Rachel, but he was no longer in love with her. Ross was in love with Emily, but their bond wasn't strong enough to last a lifetime. When it came down to it, Ross was more concerned about his marriage track record than the marriage itself.

    i totally agree. Theres "love" and theres "in love" ross was not in love with rachel when he married emily. he loved her becuase she was a close friend and becuase of all their history. You can tell ross really does love emily before the whole wedding/wrong name situation. I think in the back of ross's mind he knew that even if the marriage did work out, the fact that he DID say "rachel" at the wedding would always be an issue.

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    stellarchick86

    [20]Jul 27, 2008
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    AlyssaR0528, I totally agree with you! Couldnt have said it better myself. Yeah, he may not have been IN love with her, but he definetly had some strong feelings towards her (esp since he pretty much has since HS, you can even tell when she walks over to him and the umbrella goes out because he was so nervous, in the pilot) and I bet if she said I want to be with you without Emily in the picture/equation of all this, he wouldve said ok. But she kind of bombarded him and he was still technically married so he felt like he couldnt exactly sweep her off her feet and tell her he loves her too.
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