Friends Forums

NBC (ended 2004)

Was Ross in denial when he married emily?

  • Avatar of sbhinyo

    sbhinyo

    [21]Jul 27, 2008
    • member since: 08/08/06
    • level: 13
    • rank: Regal Beagle
    • posts: 2,914
    Yes, I think that Ross still had feelings for Rachel if he didn't then he wouldn't have said the wrong name at his wedding. When Ross and Rachel broke up Ross was very broken up about it and when he met Emily he was still in love with Rachel. I think the reason he said the wrong name at his wedding to Emily was because he was thinking about Rachel being at the wedding, after Rachel went to the wedding and he saw her standing there in the pile that was the church. He couldn't get the picture of Rachel at the wedding out of his head. So I think the feelings of Rachel being precent at the wedding cause him to say Rachel's name instead of Emily's.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Elwingda

    Elwingda

    [22]Jul 29, 2008
    • member since: 06/08/08
    • level: 10
    • rank: Holy Level 10!
    • posts: 222
    AlyssaR0528 wrote:

    I think Ross had lingering feelings for Rachel when he dated and married Emily. That being said, when Ross married Emily, I think he loved her (Emily)... but not enough to have a lasting marriage.

    Ross and Rachel dated for over a year, and during that time, contemplated a serious future together (marriage, kids, etc.). When Ross met Emily, I don't think he was still in love with Rachel, but he clearly still had lingering feelings for her, and that is only natural after such a serious relationship. However, this probably meant it was too soon for him to marry someone else.

    Nevertheless, I think Ross really did love Emily when he proposed and when they got married... but not enough to make the marriage last. There are different kinds of love. Sometimes two people are together and in love but their relationship just isn't... "it."

    I think this was illustrated when Ross tried to win Emily back. He went to great lengths to try to make his marriage work... but he seemed more concerned about not having another failed marriage than about not having Emily in his life.

    Two relevant scenes come to mind: when Emily gives Ross her ultimatum, as Ross agonizes over the decision he lists his choices: he can save his marriage and lose one of his best friends, or keep his friend and get divorced for the second time before he's 30. I thought it was extremely significant that as Ross performed this "balancing test," not wanting to live without Emily didn't enter the equation.

    The other scene was when Ross told Rachel they couldn't see each other any more. He tells her he doesn't want to cut her out of his life, but he has to to make his marriage work -- and he emphasizes that he has to make this marriage work. Again, he seemed more concerned about his marriage track record than about living the rest of his life without Emily.

    So no, I don't think Ross was in denial about his feelings for Rachel when he married Emily. He still had lingering feelings for Rachel, but he was no longer in love with her. Ross was in love with Emily, but their bond wasn't strong enough to last a lifetime. When it came down to it, Ross was more concerned about his marriage track record than the marriage itself.


    I totally agree with this. Rachel was in the back of his mind all the time and the bond between them was so strong and they were meant for each other.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of miss_wierd

    miss_wierd

    [23]Jul 29, 2008
    • member since: 04/25/05
    • level: 13
    • rank: Regal Beagle
    • posts: 920

    Isn't it possible he said 'Rachel' because he had just saw her, when she had previously said she would not attend the wedding?

    =======================================

    Uh no.. So what if she is there? If he really didn't love her it wouldn't make a difference if she is there or not.

    In fact, he didn't go. He offered it to Rachel, but the minute he saw Emily, he abandoned Rachel on a plane to Greece. How much love is in that?

    ===============================================

    Well AlyssaR0528 made a good point. Ross was more concerned about getting another divorce than he was about Emily. He kept bringing it up about how he is going to get another divorce before the age of 30.

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of MisterMatthews

    MisterMatthews

    [24]Jul 30, 2008
    • member since: 10/21/06
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 662

    miss_wierd wrote:
    Uh no..

    See, I can;t discuss with you if you deny the fact that there is more than one possible interpretation of what we see on tv...

    miss_weird wrote:
    So what if she is there? If he really didn't love her it wouldn't make a difference if she is there or not.

    I've just explained that. Please go back and read again.

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of rebachick94

    rebachick94

    [25]Jul 6, 2009
    • member since: 07/03/07
    • level: 16
    • rank: Church Lady
    • posts: 1,912
    miss_wierd wrote:
    No, absolutely not. People who said 'yes' let their own preference for a Ross-Rachel relationship get in the way of the actual storyline in seasons 4 and 5. Ross was absolutely crazy about Emily. You could tell he loved her very much. At no time, there was any indication that he still loved Rachel. He was miserable when Emily wouldn't speak to him after he said the wrong name at the altar. He tried everything he could to contact her and make it up to her. And that was after Rachel had told him she still loved him. Would he do that if he were still in love with Rachel?
    =====================================================================

    Wrong wrong wrong. There WAS indication! If he really loved Emily he would not call her by the wrong name when they got married, He wouldn't have any trouble with Emily's demand of not seeing Rachel anymore, and he wouldn't go to his honeymoon with Rachel. So you saying people who said "yes" let their own preferences for a Ross-Rachel relationship to get in the way is not true. It was quite obvious he still loved Rachel.

    Okay, I agree that Ross was in love with Rachel, and I agree with everything you said except Ross wouldn't have trouble with Emily's demand of not seeing Rachel anymore. He was broken up because Rachel was his friend. The fact that he still had feelings for her didn't help the matter, but anyone would be broken up losing a friend like that.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.