Season 8 Episode 1

The One After "I Do"

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Sep 27, 2001 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Trivia: When Mona realizes how small Joey's feet are, she abruptly walks away. It is a popular belief that the size of a man's feet is directly related to the size of his penis. Whether or not this is true, apparently Mona thought so.

    • Goof: When discussing retaking her pregnancy test, Rachel says that she can take it when she gets home and asks how late the reception goes. But, it is seen in the next episode, "The One With the Red Sweater", that she stayed overnight at the hotel, meaning that she wouldn't have been going home after the reception.

    • Continuity: Phoebe claims that she took three pregnancy tests to make sure that she was pregnant, but in "The One with the Embryos", she only took two: one when she first arrived back from the clinic, and one that Frank and Alice gave her that confirmed she was pregnant.

    • Continuity: At the beginning of the episode, Chandler is seen smiling while the wedding photos are being taken. However, last season in "The One With The Engagement Picture" Chandler is incapable of smiling in a photo.

    • Goof: When Monica has her back towards the camera while talking to Joey about wearing his tennis outfit, you can clearly see that her wedding gown is being held together with a safety pin at the top and the buttons aren't through the button holes.

    • Goof: When Monica and Rachel are discussing Phoebe being "pregnant," Rachel's hair keeps tucking itself behind her ear, falling out, and going back whenever the camera angle changes.

    • Trivia: In this episode Joey makes a joke about Chandler having "slow swimmers." We find out in Season 9's "The One with the Fertility Test", that it's actually true.

    • Goof: When Monica tells Ross and Joey that she isn't pregnant, her hand is on her chest. When the shot changes, it is down by her side and then on her chest again.

    • Goof: Just before Chandler says the dance floor is too slippery for his new shoes, you can see that he doesn't slide on the floor, but on Monica's wedding dress.

  • Quotes

    • Ross: I'm so happy for you guys. And you are both so lucky! I mean you both said the right names... And nobody was drunk...
      Rachel(remembering) Okay...
      Ross: And nobody was gay... (starting to sob) And on your first try!

    • Ross: Monica's pregnant!
      Joey: Oh, my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?
      Monica: Guys, I'm not pregnant.
      Joey: (to Chandler) Ahh... Slow swimmers?

    • (Monica and Chandler are about to have their first dance as husband and wife)
      Chandler: Before we go out there I've got a present for ya.
      Monica: Honey, I'm not going to put my hand in your pocket!

    • Phoebe: (about Rachel being pregnant) So, are you ready to talk about it?
      Rachel: No.
      Phoebe: (after waiting a couple of seconds) Now...?
      Rachel: No!
      Phoebe: Okay, we'll talk about something else then...
      Rachel: Thank-you.
      Phoebe: Who's the father?!

    • Rachel: (about the father of her baby) I'm not gonna tell you until I tell him...
      Phoebe: Aha! At least we know it's a "him".

    • Monica: (about Joey's tennis outfit) Oh, sweet Lord...
      Joey: I'm sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and it's either this or a bathrobe! Look, what's more important, the way I'm dressed or me being with you on your special day?
      Monica: Honey, I'm not even going to pretend I was listening.

    • Ross: "Mona"... Well, uh... what a beautiful name.
      Mona: You think so? I always kinda hated it.
      Ross: Ahh... c'mon! Mona Lisa...?
      Mona: (smiling) Uh-huh...
      Ross: Klegklachen? The famous botanist... huh? Oh, no, she's, uh... well, she's dead now, but supposedly she was once quite the hottie... of the plant world.

    • Nora: Yes, Dennis is a dear old friend... and a fantastic lover!
      Chandler: ...Are my ears bleeding?
      Nora: (to Dennis) Don't mind Chandler, he's always been shy... 
      Chandler: (to his mother) Oh, you're right. (to Dennis) Bravo Dennis, thanks for pleasing my mother so.

    • Chandler: What size shoes do you wear?
      Joey: Uh, eleven... eleven-and-a-half.
      Chandler: Great, cause my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor. Could I borrow the boots from your costume?
      Joey: I don't even really know where I left them, so...
      (Chandler looks down at Joey's feet)
      Chandler: Those aren't eleven-and-a-half...
      Joey: Okay, fine, I'm a seven... alright? I have surprisingly small feet--but the rest of me is good--I'll show ya!

    • Monica: Wow. Between me and you?
      Rachel: Yeah...
      Monica: In this day and age, how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
      Rachel: (upset) Hey! Y'know... sometimes you can do everything right... everyone can wear everything they're supposed to wear... and one of those little guys just gets through!
      Monica: How?
      Rachel: I don't know... maybe they have tools.

    • Monica: Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
      Rachel: How many ways are there to do that?

    • Monica: Wait a minute! Who's the father?
      Phoebe: Oh, no... she won't tell us.
      Monica: C'mon, it's my wedding! ...that can be my present!
      Rachel: Wait... hey, I just gave you peeing on a stick!
      Phoebe: See, this is why you register.

    • Chandler: (watching Joey hurrying away from him) Aww... It's like he's running on tiny little pegs.

    • Ross: (about Mona, as he dances with Ashley, a little girl) I am so gonna score!
      Ashley: What?
      Ross: I like your bow!

    • Joey: (on the bandstand, trying to impress Nora's date, Dennis the director) I'd like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world--and my best friends. Now, when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (wailing) "Why, God? Why?! How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (laughs to himself) And there were some sad memories...(sobs) ...I'm sorry. And some scared memories... (jumps back) Whoa! ...Enh? And then, and then I realized I'll always be their friend... their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (starts to leave the stage but then turns and raises his glass) Oh! To the happy couple!

    • Dennis: Look, umm, Joey... I don't think you're quite right for this project.
      Joey: Oh, see that's where you're wrong. Whatever it is, I can do it. And if you didn't see it up there, just try me.
      Dennis: It's an all Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese?
      Joey: Well, I'm not proud of this, but... (he turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids)
      Dennis: Oh, my God! Please, please don't!

    • Monica: Are you ready to get back on the dance floor?
      Chandler: Did it turn into sand?

    • Chandler: Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time, I didn't want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some... clumsy idiot.
      Monica: (sweetly) Oh honey, you could never embarrass me. (after thinking about it) Okay, you could easily embarrass me.

    • (Monica has finally gotten Chandler to try to dance with her)
      Monica: Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler moves his arms ridiculously) There you go!
      Jack: (dancing over) Chandler, I'm gonna have you arrested!
      Chandler: Why?
      Jack: You stole my moves! (mimics Chandler's "arm dance")

    • Phoebe: (reading Rachel's pregnancy test) It's negative.
      Rachel: What?
      Phoebe: It's negative.
      Rachel: (taking a moment for it to sink in) Oh. Well, there you go. Whew... That's great. That is really great, great news. Y'know, 'cause of the whole... not being ready and the financial aspects... all that. This is so just the way that this was supposed to be.
      Monica: Then, great.
      Rachel: (sobbing) God, this is so stupid! How can I be upset over something I never had?!

    • Phoebe: (about Rachel's pregnancy test) It's not negative, it's positive.
      Rachel: Are you sure?
      Phoebe: Well yeah, I lied before. (hands Rachel the test stick)
      Monica: Oh, my God!
      Phoebe: Now you know how you really feel about it.
      Rachel: (tearfully excited) Oh-ho-ho, that's a risky little game!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Phoebe: James Brolin is the father of my baby.
      Chandler: As in Barbra Streisand's husband James Brolin?
      James Brolin is an American actor, director, and producer.
      Barbra Streisand is a singer, actor, composer, producer and director. She has won numerous Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, and Golden Globe awards. Interestingly, she used to be married to actor Elliott Gould, who plays Jack Geller on Friends.

    • Phoebe: (about James Brolin being the father of her "baby") I could only think of two names... him and Ed Begley Jr.
      Ed Begley Jr. is an actor and environmentalist who is perhaps best known for his role on the television series St. Elsewhere.

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