Friends Season 5 Episode 14

Chandler: You win! I can't have sex with you.
Phoebe: And why not?
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica.
Phoebe: You're what?
(Monica comes out of the bathroom)
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I love her! I love her! I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you too, Chandler. Phoebe: I just, I thought you guys were doing it. I didn't know you were in love!

Rachel: Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: No.
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: They know you know.
Rachel: Oh, I knew it!
Joey: I would say, "Thank God! Everybody knows! It's finally over!" But that hasn't been working for me.

Chandler: (About Chandler and Monica secretly dating) Phoebe knows about us.
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Monica: Them? Who's "them?"
Joey: Uh... Phoebe, and Joey.

Monica: (About Phoebe hitting on Chandler) Oh, my God! She knows about us. That's the only explanation.
Chandler: What about my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps... she knows!

Phoebe: Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it our naked buddy is moving.
Ross: Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes.

Monica: (About Phoebe) She is going to give in way before you do.
Chandler: How do you know that?
Monica: Because you're on my team and my team always wins!
Chandler: At this?!

Rachel: You know what you should do? You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Like if I wanted something from Joey, I would strike up a conversation about, say um, sandwiches ... or my underwear.
Joey: I'm listening.

Phoebe: Watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie.

Phoebe: They don't know we know they know we know! And Joey you can't say anything!
Joey: I couldn't if I wanted to!

Ross: (About Ugly Naked Guy) Didn't he used to have a cat?
Phoebe: I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.
Joey: Yeah... poor cat, never saw that big butt coming.

Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where, like, you know, doing laundry or going grocery shopping or... Oh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp?
Rachel: Uh-huh. Doing it; doing it; phone-doing it.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh!, I can't believe it! I mean, I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better.

Ross: Someone sent us a basket at work once, and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
Chandler: Your work makes me sad.

Joey: Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!
Rachel: Oh yeah! Oh my God! That is our friend! It's Naked Ross!

Phoebe: (After seeing Monica and Chandler having sex) Oh! My eyes! My eyes!

Chandler: You look good.
Phoebe: Thanks. You know, when you say things like that, it makes me want to rip that...sweater vest right off.

Ross: It would be so cool to live across from you guys.
Joey: Yeah, then we can do that telephone thing, you know, when you have a can and we have a can and it's connected by a string.
Chandler: Or we could do the actual telephone thing.

Monica: How did you get to be so cute?
Chandler: Well, my grandfather was Swedish and my grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.