Chandler shows up at Monica and Rachel's to talk about his latest date. When he tells everyone he broke up with his date because of her nostrils, it causes the gang to feel that he has a pattern of being superficial in dating.
Mr. Heckles, the downstairs eccentric neighbor, knocks on Monica's door. He wants them to quit stomping around. When he goes back to his room, they can hear him tapping the ceiling with his broom. As a response, they actively stomp until he stops tapping. The gang soon learns why he stopped tapping: Mr. Heckles died with a broom still in his hand.
Ross discovers that Phoebe puts the theory of evolution in the same pile of garbage as crop circles and the Bermuda triangle. He tries to reason with her, using facts and logical analysis, but she does not buy it, causing him to stress out even more. He tries to use the theory of gravity as an example, but she doesn't buy that either.
Monica and Rachel learn that Mr. Heckles made a will out that had them become the sole heirs to all his material goods in his apartment. They head inside his apartment to begin the scavenge.
Chandler finds a book of Heckles titled "My Big Book of Grievances" where it lists all the things that the group did that bothered him. Joey is happy to see he is listed in there as being the "Italian" who caused the "excessive noise" when he brought home a date. Meanwhile Chandler is less than thrilled to see Heckles put him in there too, labeling him the "Italian guy's gay roommate."
Rachel and Monica get into an argument over a lamp of a naked hula. Rachel loves its tackiness and Monica hates it, refusing Rachel to bring it back to their place. Rachel realizes that Monica still sees the apartment and all the stuff as belonging to her, and not the two of them.
The gang goes through Heckles' high school yearbook and are amazed at how normal he seemed. As they go through it, Chandler realizes that he and Heckles are similar. Both were the funniest in their high school, voted class clown, and played the clarinet.
Joey later finds Chandler still going through Heckles' things late at night. Chandler finds out that Heckles, like Chandler, dated many women and dumped them for shallow superficial reasons. Chandler realizes that he is Heckles and will end up alone like him. In a fit of desperation, Chandler does the unthinkable and calls Janice.
At Central Perk, he confesses to his friends that he called Janice, and they are appalled. But Chandler stands up for Janice until she walks into the coffee shop and he hears her nasal voice, causing him to cringe. He turns to look and sees that Janice is very pregnant, and married. Chandler becomes even more depressed.
Ross decides one more time to talk to Phoebe about evolution. He shows her actual 200 million year old fossils. She tells him to lay off, she never denied it from happening, she is only opening her mind to other possibilities. She yells at him for being so arrogant and narrow-minded, not even able to say there is a tiny possibility that there may be some other theory out there. Ross thinks it over and agrees there might be a small possibility, causing Phoebe to become disgusted that he caved and abandoned his philosophy so fast. Ross could kill her.
Back at Monica's, Rachel finds out that her naked hula lamp is broken. Monica claims she broke it accidently, which Rachel doesn't believe. Their feud is broken up when they see how depressed Chandler is about his fate. So Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel cheer Chandler up, telling him he wont end up alone because he is a great guy and not afraid to take risks to find love. They use calling Janice as proof that he is risky. Chandler is feeling very pepped until Rachel tells him he is ready for the committment, and then he freaks out.
Later on, Chandler tells the gang that he has a new date coming up and he is excited. He promises he won't let any superficial fault of hers get in the way of finding love. Chandler sees Joey going to throw out Heckles' yearbook and wants to keep it, that way his life didn't just vanish off the earth.