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Casting Director #1
Casting Director #2
Magna Doodle: A drawing of two fish.
Goof: When Rachel and Monica are fighting over the candle holders, they change position between shots. First the bottoms are pointing towards Rachel, and in the next shot they are pointing towards Monica.
Chandler: (On the set of Joey's new sitcom) Listen, I'm really glad you got the part.
Joey: (In pain) Thanks!
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Joey: Yeah. And hey. Thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower.
Chandler: Now is that never talking about it again?!
Phoebe: (To Joey, about his hernia, excited) Hey, maybe you'll die!
Joey: Chandler, I'm scared.
Phoebe: No, we could go together. Just don't wait too long though, okay, 'cause I'm out of here sometime before Friday.
Joey: But I don't wanna die!
Phoebe: No, no. It'll be fun. We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
Professor Rathman: (To Ross) Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?
Ross: (In his British accent) I'm sorry, I've got plans with my sister.
Monica: (In an Irish accent) Monica Geller.
Ross: (In British accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment?
(Takes Monica aside)
Ross: (In his normal voice) What are you doing?
Monica: Oh, you can have an accent and I can't?! (To a student, in an Irish accent) Top 'o the morning to ya laddies!
Ross: Just please stop!
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman)
Rachel: (In an Indian accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is very, very nice time of year.
Student: What's happening to your accent?
Ross: (In a British accent) Come again? What's, what's this nonsense?
(Giggles) (In an American accent) All right, I'm, I'm not English. I'm from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just, uh, just came out. I'm sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Um, were there any questions?
(Everyone raises their hands)
(Everyone puts their hands down)
All right, look, I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important, because I'm, I'm hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression--
Rachel: (Storming into the class) Ross! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife?! What, were you just never gonna tell me?! What the hell is wrong with you?! Ugh, I could just kill you!
Ross: (In a British accent) Well, hello Rachel!
Rachel: (Prank calling Ross) Hello, Ross? This is Dr. McNeilly calling from the Fake Accent University. We'd like you to come on board full time.
Monica: (About Ross's British accent) Why don't you phase it out? People would think that you'll adjusting to the life in America.
Rachel: Yeah, no one will even notice! They probably not even listening to you.
Ross: Not listening to me?!
Rachel: Of course they're listening to you! Everybody does!
Ross: Monica, you really think I should try what you said?
Monica: I think you look fine!
Chandler: (About Joey's hernia) Look, I'll loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and let's just get that thing pushed back in.
Joey: Thank you, but it'd take me forever to pay you back and I don't want that hanging over my head. Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in, I can get all the free operations I want. I think I'll probably start with that laser eye surgery.
Phoebe: Hey. What's going on?
Chandler: Well, Joey's got a really bad hernia, but it's nothing a little laser eye surgery won't fix.
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyone was all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now I'm gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Monica: That you're not funny or sexy?
Ross: That's right!
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, I'm not going die!
Rachel: Really?! How do you know?
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She must've read the cards wrong!
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, let's bake cookies!
Joey: All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. I'm gonna go see my agent.
Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
Joey: (Mocking him) Look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks into the closed door)
Joey: Oh, I can't believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance, I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, you know? And it wouldn't matter. Now I gotta be careful?
Chandler: I'm sorry man. There's never a good time to... stop catching on fire
Ross: Well, uh, remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate? Uh, they loved it.
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Well, who wouldn't?
Ross: I know!
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Jak Joey neměl pojištění (As Joey Did Not Have Insurance)
Joe Everett Michaels, who played Casting Diredtor #2 in this episode, also appeared in "The One with Chandler's Dad" where he played the Bakersfield Guy and "The One in Barbados (2)" where he played the waiter.
This episode runs 22:21 on DVD (a typical sitcom runs about 22:00).
Ross: ...you have the one thing I don't have. It's like, uh, in a way you, you complete me.
The phrase "You complete me" was made famous by Tom Cruise's character in the 1996 movie Jerry Maguire.
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