The Casting Assistant
Dr. Leonard Green
Emma Geller-Green [uncredited]
Goof: Rachel says that Ross uses her full name when saying "Rachel Green's room," however it was established in "The One With Mrs. Bing" that Rachel's full name is Rachel Karen Green.
Magna Doodle: A drawing of an old-fashioned deep sea diver trying to retrieve a sunken treasure that is being defended by a giant squid
Continuity: When Joey first asked Phoebe to help him speak French, Rachel said she didn't know Phoebe spoke French. But in "The One with the Rumor," Phoebe told Rachel that she and some other people would meet behind a dumpster to learn French.
Goof: When Chandler and Monica are in bed they are laying on opposite sides as they usually do.
Goof: Joey says he can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds. When he tries, it takes him 28 seconds and he spills a lot down his front, yet Phoebe says, "You did it!" It's possible that Phoebe did this on purpose to humor him again.
Trivia: Here are the translations for Phoebe's lines in French.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Oui, bien sur je parle Français! Qu'est-ce que tu penses alors?
Translation: Yes, of course I speak French! What did you think?
Phoebe: (To Joey) Tout le plaisir est pour moi, mon ami.
Translation: The pleasure is mine, my friend.
Phoebe: Ecoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé, alors si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui. Merci, au revoir.
Translation: Okay, I'll tell you the truth. He's my little brother. He's a little retarded. Would you please just humor him? Thank you, goodbye.
Joey: I'm glad you're back, I really need your help.
Phoebe: Oh, why? What's up?
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Ross: Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.
Monica: Yeah, you really shouldn't. (Turning to Ross) By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo?
Monica: (About the baby's father) Are you awake?
Chandler: Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake!
Monica: All right, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
Chandler: Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel-killer.
Phoebe: (Reading out loud Joey's résumé) Okay, can you really tapdance?
Phoebe: It's off the résumé. Archery?
Phoebe: Horseback riding?
Joey: Would fall off a lot.
Rachel: (About sex with Ross) Hey, um, do you remember that one really great time...?
Ross: Oh, yeah!
Rachel: You know it was you're, um... birthday...
Ross: (Speaking at the same time) Valentine's day...
Both: (Long Pause) Oh, yeah!
Rachel: Well, I guess that's all in the past, now.
Rachel: Not even one more time?
Ross: Not even once.
Rachel: No matter how much we want it.
Ross: Even if we want it really bad.
Rachel: That's what we decided.
Ross: Hum, right!
Rachel: It's kinda hard though!
Rachel: You know, when two people have a connection, you know, that's... just seems like such a... waste.
Ross: I hate waste.
Rachel: Just so you know. With us, it's never off the table.
Ross: (After Rachel has left) Damn it, it's never off the table!
Ross: You sure you're alright?
Ross: (Unconvinced) Okay. I'm gonna go grab as some breakfast.
Ross: There it is.
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.
Ross: Wait. You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
Rachel: Really? Well, it seems to me if you had done the right thing, I would not have woken up feeling stupid and embarrassed. I would have woken up comforted and satisfies.
Ross: (Smugly) Well...
Rachel: Oh, stop that!
Ross: I can't believe this, what... I was just being a good guy. I treated you with respect and understanding.
Rachel: Oh, that is so hot!
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you!
Rachel: Oh really? Well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
Ross: I gotta say, I've not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever!
Rachel: Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either.
Ross: Oh, okay, hey, hey, you know what? To avoid this little thing in the future let's just say you and me: never having sex again!
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table!
Ross: (About having sex) I'm sorry, I just don't think this is a good idea.
Rachel: Well, we won't know that until we do it, will we?
Ross: No, ah, look. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I, I just don't feel it would be right. I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
Rachel: Taking advantage? I'm giving you the advantage! Enjoy!
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I, I think one of us has to be thinking clearly. So, I'm gonna go.
Rachel: (Upset) Wow, okay.
Ross: I'll see you in the morning.
(Leaves Rachel's room)
I haven't had sex in four months. I should get a medal for that!
Monica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in sex ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Chandler: Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do?
Monica: The thing we never do.
Chandler: Shovely Joe!
Nurse: Mrs. Green? Your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Rachel: Oh great. (To Ross) Uh, are you going to be okay?
Ross: He's unconscious. I think we'll be just fine.
Ross: (To the nurse) I'm Dr. Ross Geller.
Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, okay? That actually means something here. (Turning to the nurse) Can somebody please go in?
Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him.
Rachel: Ross, please, don't be so scared of him!
Ross: I'm not scared of him, I'm really sick!
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Ross: I'm feeling better.
Ross: Did the TV wake you?
Dr. Green: No, when you put your feet up in my bed, you tugged on my catheter.
Dr. Green: What are you doing here, Geller?
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second. So what's new?
Dr. Green: Oh, I had a little heart attack
Ross: Right, is it painful?
Dr. Green: What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Monica: Phoebe, this is Erica... and this is the baby! (Points at Erica's stomach) Joey, Erica, baby! Everyone, Erica, baby!
Chandler: Monica, calm, self!
Phoebe: I have to go before I put your head through a wall!
Joey: No, don’t go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Ja blu bla! Me la pee! Oom Bla... Poo.
Mr Green: So knocked up any of my other daughters yet?
Ross: Nope, just the one. Rachel!
Joey: Welcome to New York City, or should I say ke-de-floef New York City.
Chandler: Why would you say that?
Ross: Oh, hi, hi. Thanks for showing up 30 minutes late.
Ross: No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse. What was it, a hair appointment? A mani-pedi? Was there a sale at Barney's?
Rachel: My father had a heart attack... (Starts crying) while I was at Barney's.
In the U.S. airing of this episode on the Nickelodeon channel, the line where Phoebe tells the plays's director that Joey is retarded is cut out, yet the character reactions and audience laughter to the line remains. Viewers are supposed to believe that the director humors Joey simply because he is Phoebe's brother.
International Episode Title:
France: Celui qui baragouinait (The One Who Was Jabbering)
Factual Error: The Long Island hospital exterior shown is in fact the south face of the Robarts Library at the University of Toronto in Canada.
Ron Leibman received the "And" credit.
In the Australian Channel Ten network's broadcast of this episode, the subtitles for Phoebe's conversation in French with the director use "retarted" rather than "retarded."
This is the final appearance of Ron Leibman as Dr. Leonard Green. Dr. Green was in 4 episodes of Friends.
Courteney Cox-Arquette was pregnant during the filming of this episode. It is visible, especially in her face, that she gained weight from her real-life pregnancy. She also wears larger clothes to try to disguise this. On June 13th, 2004 Courteney and her husband David Arquette welcomed the birth of their daughter Coco Riley Arquette.
This episode runs 25:03 on DVD (a typical sitcom runs about 22:00).
This is the last episode with Joey's name in the title of the episode.
Lisa Kudrow and Matt LeBlanc, as well as Matthew Perry, speak French fluently.
This episode references another previous episode where a throw-away line creates this episode's main storyline.
The poster on Rachel's childhood bedroom wall is for Shaun Cassidy's third studio album, Under Wraps, released in 1978.
Phoebe: My town of Estée Lauder.
Estée Lauder and her husband co-founded Estée Lauder Companies, a pioneering cosmetics company. It is based in Manhattan, near the gang.
The movie Ross tunes into at the hospital is 1969's The Valley of Gwangi, which features cowboys tracking down dinosaurs in Mexico, with stop-motion animation by Ray Harryhausen.
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