Season 9 Episode 11

The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Jan 09, 2003 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Monica: Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant.
      Chandler: I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.
      Monica: Well, I just lost my erection.

    • Monica: Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files!
      Chandler: Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off!
      Monica: I know! My erection is back!

    • Phoebe: Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?
      Joey: Okay.
      Phoebe: Thank-you. (pours his coffee into a thermos and puts his muffin in her purse) Thank-you!
      Joey: Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?

    • Joey: If you want I could loan you some money?
      Phoebe: Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.

    • Joey: (about Emma) Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?
      Rachel: Well because if one more person says "What a cute little boy", I'm gonna whip 'em with a car antenna.

    • Monica: Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages, and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision.
      Chandler: (having just come from the bathroom) How long was I in there?

    • Chandler: I'm sorry you had to waste all this time.
      Monica: You call eight hours alone with my label-maker wasted time? Ooh! Now I get to use my shredder!

    • Chandler: I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? "Cheese. It's milk that you chew." "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy." "A grape. Because who can get a watermelon in your mouth?"

    • Monica: I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone.
      Chandler: (demonstrating his slogan-writing skills) "The phone... Bringing you closer to people... who have phones."
      Monica: (following suit) "Marriage. It's not for everybody."

    • Rachel: (about introducing Emma to her coworkers) That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl.
      Ross: Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread.

    • Rachel: (discovering Gavin sitting at her desk) Who the hell are you?
      Gavin: Who the hell are you?
      Rachel: I'm the hell person whose office this is.
      Ross: Good one, Rach'.

    • Phoebe: Joey, look at me! I'm a nurse!
      Joey: Yes you are. I think it may be time for my sponge bath. (checking himself) Sorry, I'm just so used to hitting on the extras.

    • Joey: (about acting) Hey, you know what? Don't worry, Pheebs! It usually takes me three takes too! (the director gives him a look) Alright, eight!

    • Interviewer: So, do you have any other questions about advertising?
      Chandler: No, no. But let me show you what I can do. (picking up a bagel and a donut) "Bagels and donuts. Round food for every mood."
      Interviewer: Monica warned me you might do that.

    • Ross: (about Emma) Rach', we have a code brown situation.
      Rachel: Can you please, please take care of it for me?
      Ross: All right, but you have to do one sometime.

    • Gavin: I'm not a temp. I was transferred here from another department.
      Rachel: Oh yeah, what department was that? The Jerk department?
      Gavin: Oh, they didn't tell me about your quick wit.
      Rachel: Did they mention that I'm rubber and you're glue?

    • Phoebe: (about the director) So, what did he say?
      Joey: Well, he can be a little rough around the edges, so I'm gonna replace a word he used a lot, with the word "puppy." Okay, so he said: "If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together, I'm gonna fire her mother-puppy ass."

    • Rachel: (about Emma) Can you please take care of her for today?
      Ross: Absolutely. Just give me your breasts, and we'll be on our way.

    • Ross: (to Emma) We'll have fun, won't we? Yes, we will, yes we will. (gives Emma a kiss, and her pink bow sticks to his forehead)
      Rachel: Ross?
      Ross: Huh?
      Rachel: (smiling coquettishly) You're pretty.

    • Ross: So you're going to have to tell Monica you don't want to have a baby right now?
      Chandler: Yeah.
      Ross: (giving him a hug) Goodbye...

    • Monica: Okay, it's baby time. Pants off, Bing. (spotting Ross) Didn't see you there, Geller.

    • Rachel: I actually made a few changes, but I think I'm caught up on everything. So ask me anything!
      Gavin: How do you fix the chair?
      Rachel: Except that!

    • Monica: You faked it? You couldn't have faked it.
      Chandler: Oh yes you can. You just make the faces and the noises.
      Monica: Guys can fake it?! Unbelievable. The one thing that's ours!

  • Notes

  • Allusions