Season 5 Episode 18

The One Where Rachel Smokes

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Apr 08, 1999 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Rachel: Okay, got to go. Wish me luck.
      Chandler: Hey, Rach', now that you're working at Ralph Lauren can you bring me back some of those Polo shirts?
      Rachel: Uh, well, y'know what? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable stealing on my very first day.
      Chandler: Unwilling to steal from work... interesting.
      Monica: Besides, if anybody's going to get free stuff, it's going to be me.
      Rachel: Okay, guys... way to wish me luck.

    • Phoebe: Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw her a surprise party this weekend.
      Joey: Whoa, but her birthday's not for, like... another month.
      Phoebe: Okay... but if we throw her a party on her birthday... then it's not a surprise.

    • Monica: Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
      Joey: (shouting) Ross! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!
      Ross: (from the bathroom) Okay!
      Joey: Done.

    • Monica: I bet it's gonna be weird seeing some actor pretending to be Ben's dad.
      Ross: Yeah.
      Chandler: Weirder than seeing his two moms make out?

    • Joey: I mean, who better than to play Ben's father than his godfather?
      Ross: You're not his godfather.
      Joey: What?! Are you kidding?!
      Ross: Of couse I am. Okay, let's go, godfather.

    • Joanna: (as she's going out for a smoke, to Rachel) You smoke?
      Rachel: Oh, no. My dad's a doctor and he would always tell me, just horror stories... (seeing Joanna give her a look) ...about, uh ghosts and goblins... who... totally supported the princess's right to smoke.

    • Joey: (about auditioning against Ben) Oh, man. This is going to be kind of weird, huh?
      Ross: Yeah, it is.
      Kyle(the other "Dad" actor) Yeah, it's going to be weird.
      Ross: No, we're, we're like, best friends. That's, that's why it's weird.
      Kyle: Oh, oh. I thought we were just talking.

    • Chandler: Hey, Ross, if Ben gets this commercial do you think he can get me some free soup?
      Ross: Chandler, a can of soup is, like, sixty cents.
      Chandler: Yeah, okay... but I have been supporting a twenty-nine year-old Italian for five years.

    • Phoebe: (carrying huge, overstuffed trash bags) Hey, is it okay if I leave this stuff here till Rachel's birthday party?
      Chandler: What's in them?
      Phoebe: Um... cups...
      Chandler: Oh, good, because we got Rachel eight hundred gallons of water.

    • Chandler: Oh, my God. You smoked!
      Rachel: I did not.
      Chandler: Yes you did. You look happy and sick! You smoked!
      Rachel: Alright, fine--but I had to... I had to do it for my career.
      Chandler: I wish I had to smoke for my career.

    • Joey: Hi, Ben... So you want to be an actor, huh? Well, I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's a ton of rejection, no stability--I mean, one day you're Dr. Drake Ramoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle... It's a tough life. I mean, sure, okay... you can get up whenever you want, watch TV all day, meet tons of women in acting class... (realizing) Who am I kidding? I can't talk you out of this--it's a great life!

    • Joey: Uh-oh.
      Casting Director: Is there a problem?
      Joey: Well, this is noodle soup and I've been working with tomato. So... but that's okay. No problem, no problem. Mmm, noodle soup. Yeah.
      Casting Director: You know... that, that's fine... but the line is, "Mmm, soup."
      Joey: Oh... What did I say?
      Casting Director: "Mmm, noodle soup."
      Joey: How's that different? Oh! I see... yeah.

    • Joey: Mmm, soup. I mean noodle soup--I mean soup!
      Raymond: (irritated after Joey messed up his line again) Come on!

    • Phoebe: Hey, check it out! Um... cup hat, cup banner, cup chandelier... and the thing that started it all--the cup!
      Chandler: Great job with the cups, Pheebs!
      Monica: (jealous of his praise for Phoebe) Why don't you just go out with her?!

    • Rachel: (about her surprise party) What?! My birthday is not for another month.
      Monica: That's the surprise!
      Rachel: Oh, my God! You guys, this is so great! It's so unexpected. I mean, Chandler's birthday's even before mine.

    • Rachel: Wow! This is so great. Look at all these... cups! This is so weird.
      Phoebe: I was in charge of cups.
      Rachel: Oh, okay... not so weird.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Rachel: Also Vogue called.

      Vogue is a fashion magazine, that is now published in several different countries.