Season 10 Episode 2

The One Where Ross Is Fine

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Oct 02, 2003 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Trivia: Ross burns his hands on two occasions in this episode from forgetting to wear oven mitts. Apparently, burning his hands is Ross's "thing". In "The One with the Inappropriate Sister", he burns himself from picking up one of the charred balls that Joey and Chandler were using to play "Fireball". In "The One with the Tea Leaves", he burns himself taking Mona's spare key from its hiding place above the hall lamp, and in "The One with the Lottery", he burns his hand rubbing a lamp, suggesting mockingly that maybe a Genie will appear to help them win the lottery.

    • Trivia: In this episode Frank Jr. and Phoebe talk about her taking one of the triplets. In "The One Hundredth" when the triplets were born, Phoebe asked Rachel to talk to Frank Jr. about the possibility of her getting to keep one.

    • Goof: At the end of previous episode, Ross opens the door and Rachel says "I'm so sorry" and pushes her breasts together. Although this episode begins with the same scene, he opens the door and they go straight into conversation instead.

    • Goof: When Monica and Chandler are at Bill and Colleen's house, Chandler has to go to the bathroom to wash his hands. Colleen says "The bathroom is down the hall, to your left", but as she says this, she points to the right with her thumb.

    • Factual Error: If Ross really was holding the sizzling fajitas like that for as long as he was without any gloves, he would be in the emergency room.

  • Quotes

    • Joey: (about being caught kissing Rachel) Okay, Ross, I realize that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but... Let me explain, okay?
      Rachel: We weren't doing anything!
      Joey: Rach', he just saw us.
      Rachel: Shhh.
      Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
      Rachel: No, c'mon! That is a lie! We also kissed in Barbados.
      Joey: (to Rachel) Dude, chill!! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that happened was because I saw you kissin' Charlie.
      Rachel: Yeah, you started it! (checking herself) ...I have got to chill!

    • Rachel: Ross, say something... Anything.
      Ross: So you two are...?
      Joey & Rachel: Yeah.
      Ross: And have you had...?
      Joey: No, no, no!
      Rachel: No, no, no!
      Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you...?
      Joey: Probably... (seeing Rachel glare at him) ...No, no.

    • Ross: (about Rachel and Joey) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, cause really, (in a deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like... (screams) ...But now that I've had time to absorb it... (pointing at the two of them) ...loving this!

    • Ross: (hyper, to Rachel and Joey) You know what we should do?!
      Rachel: Calm ourselves?

    • Joey: (about Ross inviting him and Rachel to dinner) Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
      Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!

    • Phoebe: Hey, what's all this stuff?
      Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
      Phoebe: Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute... get this one!
      Monica: That's not really how it works.
      Phoebe: Oh, how does it work?
      Monica: I don't know!

    • Frank Jr: (to Monica) That's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse, and that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.

    • Joey: (to Rachel as they approach Ross's door for his "fajita" party) Can I just say... I know we're doin' this for Ross--and that's cool--but... if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doin' on our first date.
      Rachel: (smiling coyly) Well, what would we be doing...?
      Joey: I'd take you out for a romantic night! ...some champagne... fancy dinner... feel ya up on the carriage ride home...
      Rachel: Feel me up?!
      Joey: a carriage!
      Rachel: Well, maybe we can have our date later on tonight... Y'know? ...after this, we'll go back to our apartment...
      Joey: Right, right! Yeah... we could put on some music... light some candles... and then...
      Rachel: (grinning) You wanna say "feel me up", don't ya...?
      Joey: (shrugging) I just think it's somethin' we should do...

    • (Approaching Ross's door, Charlie has a little bag with her)
      Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
      Charlie: Actually, it's stuff you left at my apartment.
      Joey: Oh. Oh, thanks.
      Charlie: And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want...
      Joey: (awkwardly) Yeah... I didn't throw any of that out.

    • Rachel: Okay, well, we brought you some wine.
      Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (to Joey) She's a keeper! And what did you bring me? (grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey)
      Joey: Uh actually, that's...
      Ross: (itemizing the bag's contents) Underwear... a toothbrush... and a Van Halen CD... I can use all these things!

    • Charlie: Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little...
      Ross: What? ...Fine?! Because I am! (to each of his guests) Aren't you? ...aren't you? ...aren't you? (calling out) ...Who else is fine?!

    • Joey: Okay, listen... Hey, Ross... why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
      Ross: (hyper) Y'know what? ...that is a very good idea! I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas. (snaps his fingers in a flamenco pose, then heads for the kitchen)

    • Phoebe: (looking at the triplets) Oh, God. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there, like angels.
      Frank Jr: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.

    • Frank Jr: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of 'em. You know... two, I can handle... Two's great... you just hold one in each hand. But what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on? I got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of 'em Phoebe--three!
      Phoebe: Yeah, I know Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.

    • Frank Jr: I just was thinking that, y'know... maybe you could take one.
      Phoebe: What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible! ...Which one?

    • Chandler: (to Monica about the adoption information) Can I see the book? (seeing her reluctance to give it up) ...You want me to wash my hands first, don't you?
      Monica: (holding the book, protectively) It's just so pretty and white...
      Colleen: (to Chandler) Bathroom is down the hall, on your left... (after Chandler leaves the room) I would've told him to do it, too.
      Monica: (to Colleen) Can I adopt you?

    • Chandler: I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
      Owen: What?!
      Chandler: What?
      Owen: I'm adopted?! 
      Chandler: (after searching for an explanation) I got nothin'!

    • Ross: (drunkenly pouring himself a margarita) Y'know, that first batch of margaritas was not so great, but this second batch is gooood!
      Rachel: Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.

    • Ross: I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just, I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension...
      Rachel: awareness.

    • Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me... Y'know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
      Charlie: Oh, y'know what? This is nothing... My father is a raging alcoholic.
      (Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond)
      Charlie: Oh, I'm sorry... have I made this evening uncomfortable?

    • Ross: (coming from the kitchen) Fajitas! Be careful! Very hot plate... very hot!!
      Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
      Ross: (laughs at himself) That is gonna hurt tomorrow...

    • Frank Jr: (to the sleeping triplets) I love you so much... (seeing one of them move) Oh, crap! ...Don't wake up! Don't wake up!

    • Chandler: (to Owen's parents) I'm so sorry. But you should have a sign out there or something or at least whisper to people when they come in the door, "Owen doesn't know he's adopted ...and he also thinks Santa is real."
      Owen: (to his parents) He isn't?!
      Chandler: (to Monica) We have to get out of here, baby!

    • Ross: I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
      Rachel: Oy!
      Ross: And... to love. Ahhh, love. L-O-V-E, love. "L"... is for life. And what is life without love?
      Rachel: Oh, my God, are we supposed to answer?
      Ross: "O" is for... "Oh, wow!" The "V"... is for this very surprising turn of events--which I am still fine with by the way. "E-eee"... is for how extremely normal I find it, that you two... are together... and that one day you might get married... (growing sad) ...and have children of your own.
      Joey: Dude, are you okay?
      Ross: Totally.
      Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
      Ross: I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining... (after a moment) I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan!

    • Ross: (about the timer ringing) I don't even know what that's for.

    • Rachel: (as she's leaving Joey with Ross) Yeah, y'know, Joey, I... don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.
      Joey: It doesn't look good, does it?

    • Joey: (alone with Ross, the morning after their get-together) Look, Ross, about... about Rachel and I... Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? ...because nothing is gonna happen.
      Ross: Whaddaya mean?
      Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly...
      Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
      Joey: Are we still doin' this?
      Ross: No...
      Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're, you're Ross and Rachel.
      Ross: (reflecting soberly) Except we're not...

    • Chandler: (to Phoebe) How would you like it if someone told the triplets you gave birth to them? (seeing the triplets' shocked expressions) Okay, I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Ross: (looking in Joey's bag of "stuff") ...and a Van Halen CD!
      Van Halen is an American hard rock band formed in Pasadena, California in 1972. The band was originally called "Mammoth", but changed its name to "Van Halen" in 1974. From 1974 until 1985, the band consisted of guitarist Eddie Van Halen, vocalist David Lee Roth, drummer Alex Van Halen, and bassist Michael Anthony.

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