Rachel is at Central Perk, confronting her boss, Terry. She asks her boss for a $100 advance so she can buy a ticket for her family's trip to Vail. He responds by saying she is a terrible waitress.
Rachel is now determined to show her boss that she is capable of better. She is busy counting her tips and finds that she is only $98.50 away from her goal.
Monica & Ross enter Central Perk. She tells her brother that their parents are spending Thanksgiving in Puerto Rico. Ross is upset and goes to call his mom.
Joey enters, wearing a face covered in make-up. Chandler asks Joey why, and he responds because he's officially an "actor slash model" for the City's health clinic. He will be their new poster boy.
Ross comes back to the couch, pouting & giving the concession to Monica about their parent's plans for the holiday. He is crushed that they would do that. Monica decides that she will make Thanksgiving dinner at her place this year.
Joey will be going home for the holiday. Chandler continues in "boycotting all the pilgrim holidays." Phoebe will be with her grandmother, but in their household they celebrate Thanksgiving in December, so she will be free.
Monica asks Rachel if she will be in Vail. And as long as Rachel can get a hundred & two dollars, she is all set. Chandler wants to know what happened to the previous balance of $98.50; she broke a cup.
Ross leaves Central Perk and heads over to Carol, his ex-wife's apartment. She borrowed a skull for a class she was teaching and he needs to return it to the museum. He is surprised to find Susan there; Carol is at a faculty meeting.
Susan helps Ross look around the apartment for the skull. As Ross browses, he looks at their bookcase, filled with books "about being a lesbian." He picks up a book called Yertle the Turtle, a children's book. Susan is reading it to the baby. Ross gives her a crazy look as the baby has not been born yet.
Susan can't believe Ross doesn't think that a fetus is incapable of hearing sounds from its environment. She talks to the baby all the time, to familiarize it with her voice. Ross is a little intrigued and asks if she ever talks to the baby about him, she does.
At Monica's apartment, everyone is there except Rachel. Ross is telling the gang about Susan talking to the baby and now he feels left out. He wants "some belly time too." But he makes it a point to say he still doesn't believe in it.
Phoebe completely believes that fetuses can hear inside the womb. She tells the group if they put their head inside the turkey, listen and they will be able to hear all the conversations going on in the room.
Rachel enters the apartment, depressed. She didn't even come close to making the money to see her family in Vail. Monica gives Rachel her mail, and inside the envelope is the money she needs for the trip. She gets teary and thanks the group for chipping in.
Monica gives Chandler a bag she fixed for him for Thanksgiving; it has tomato soup, grilled cheese, & Funyuns.
Rachel can't believe this is what Chandler will eat for the holiday and asks him why he does this.
He tells her that when he was 9 years old, during Thanksgiving dinner while he was eating his pumpkin pie, his parents told him they were getting divorced. So it ruined it for him ever since.
Joey is at the subway and sees a gorgeous woman waiting for the train. He walks up to her and reminds her they used to work together at Macy's fragrance department. She was the Obsession girl, he was the Aramis guy. He compliments her spraying technique, which flatters her.
He asks her if she would like to get a drink and she accepts. But she gets up from her bench and notices something behind Joey and tells him "I just remembered, I have to do something." And she leaves. Joey turns around and sees his poster ad in the subway. It says "What Mario isn't telling you...V.D.; you never know who might have it." He's horrified while we see a variety of scenes showing the poster displayed all over NYC.
At Central Perk, when Joey enters, the gang tries to hold back their laughter but fail. They all saw his VD poster.
Joey enters Monica's apartment, upset. He tells her to set another place for dinner because his family thinks he has VD.
Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner while Chandler stands in the doorway, not wanting to participate. Monica notices Ross is depressed. He tells her it's not the same because Mom isn't cooking. Monica tells Ross to get out of the way and quit moping, which makes Ross feel more like being at home with Mom.
Rachel enters the apartment, excited. She got the tickets for Vail and will be leaving in 5 hours. Joey tells Chandler to stop protesting and come through the doorway. But he declines. Phoebe waves a piece of pumpkin pie in front of his face. Chandler gets upset and leaves.
Joey asks Monica why he doesn't see tater tots, his mother's staple for the Holiday. Monica relents and makes tots for Joey, trying to cheer him up and get him off her back.
Ross grabs some food & Monica slaps his hand away. He is off to go talk to his baby.
Phoebe stirs the mashed potatoes for a few seconds before saying they are ready. She whipped the potatoes instead of making them lumpy, the way Ross likes. Phoebe thought she would make it creamy so it would be easier to add peas & onions, her mom's Holiday tradition. So Monica decides to make 3 kinds of potatoes, one lumpy mashed, one tater tots, and one with peas & onions.
Rachel gives her good-byes & as she starts to leave, she hits everyone with her skis.
Chandler enters the apartment, running and excited. The Macy's Day Parade for Thanksgiving had an accident & their Underdog balloon got away. He tells the group he is going to the roof if any wants to follow. Rachel wants to, but she can't. But Chandler persuades her to come see it, after all it's not often that an 80 foot "inflatable dog" gets away. Everyone leaves the apartment.
Ross is over at Carol's apartment, getting ready to talk to her belly. He crouches down near her stomach, but wonders where he should aim his voice. He tries for one second before stopping because he feels stupid. Carol tells him it's alright to not do it because Susan takes care of it. Which is the spark that makes Ross become quite comfortable talking to Carol's bump.
The gang, minus Ross, are coming back from the roof. Phoebe complains that they didn't need to shoot him down, because "that was just mean."
Monica wonders why everyone is just standing outside her door. This leads to a mini version of "who has Monica's keys" Monica is panicking because her oven is on, with her turkey cooking in it. Rachel is panicking because her ticket is inside. Joey tells Monica he has a copy of her key and leaves to get it.
Back at Carol's, Ross is busy talking to her stomach as she reads a book. Ross is telling the baby about why he picked palaeontology as his major in college. Carol, irritated at Ross' incessant chatter, tells him he can sing too, he doesn't have to limit himself to talking.
Ross scoffs at the idea. Susan enters, prompting Ross to sing the theme song from The Monkey's. Right in the middle of the song, the baby kicked for the first time. All 3 are excited and Susan tells him to keep singing, which prompts the baby to kick.
Joey is outside Monica's apartment with a tray full of keys, taking each one and inserting it into her lock. Everyone is tired and irritated and complaining. Especially Rachel, she grabs Chandler by the shirt and blames him for her missing her flight. Which again prompts Monica & Rachel to fight over who had the keys.
Finally, Monica goes off on Rachel. She is stressed out enough trying to make Thanksgiving dinner perfect for each individual person, wanting their own different kinds of potatoes. She gets hysterical and begins to cry as her first Thanksgiving dinner is ruined.
Joey finally opens the door and they walk in. The place is filled with smoke. The turkey is burnt & the potatoes are ruined.
Ross enters, happily singing until he smells the burnt food. He asks why does it "not smell like Mom's?", and Monica goes off on him. Rachel is upset that she is "stuck" with the group instead of being in Vail. Joey complains that this wasn't his first choice either. All of this makes Monica pissed as she spent all day making the meal for each of them. All of them begin shouting at each other.
Time has gone by; everyone is upset and mad with each other. Phoebe is at the window. She sees the Ugly Naked Guy with Ugly Naked Gal eating Thanksgiving dinner. They all run to the window to watch.
More time has passed. The gang is sitting around the table, eating grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. Monica splits her sandwich with Joey, prompting Phoebe to tell them to make a wish, like it is a wishbone.
Chandler proposes a toast. He tells the group that this is the best Thanksgiving he has had in a long time because "it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting." He gets sentimental for a moment, thanking each for being together on this day by saying, "I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked."
Everyone ooh's & aah's. They are touched by Chandler's toast.