Season 7 Episode 9

The One with All the Candy

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Dec 07, 2000 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Continuity: In this episode, Phoebe is giving Joey a haircut using the bowl-on-the-head method. This is the way parents with very little money and no barbering skills cut their kid's hair. In Season 2's "The One with Ross's New Girlfriend", however, Phoebe gives Chandler and Joey professional-looking haircuts. She screws up Monica's hair, of course, but not for a lack of haircutting ability.

    • Goof: When Monica is leaving Joey's apartment she walks right past Phoebe's new bike in the hall without even noticing. She must have been really intent on making more candy to miss it, especially since it perfectly matched Phoebe's earlier description of her "dream bike".

    • Goof: When Phoebe is leaving Joey's apartment with the bike, set lights are visible in the bike's rear-view mirror.

    • Goof: When Chandler is talking to all the neighbors in the hall, Monica's hand is at her side. When the shot changes her hand is suddenly at her ear, and then the shot changes again and its at her side.

    • Goof: Throughout the episode, the mirror on Phoebe's bike is on the left handle and the bell is on the right. However, during the tag scene when she can finally ride, suddenly the mirror is on the right handle and the bell is on the left.

    • Goof: When Phoebe argues with Ross about why she has to learn to ride a bike and sits down on the swing, her scarf has one end over her left shoulder and the other down her left front. When the shot changes, her scarf has one end over her right shoulder and the other down her right front. When the shot changes again, her scarf switches back to her left shoulder.

    • Trivia:
      1st Candy Basket Sign:
      "Enjoy the Candy! Happy Holidays"
      2nd Candy Basket Sign:
      "Candy Served Between 5am and 6pm Only. No Exceptions! PS. Happy Holidays!"

    • Magna Doodle: A drawing of a dreidel

    • Goof: When Ross goes to Phoebe's room to try to convince her to ride her bike again, the bike is completely hidden by a white sheet. Later in the scene, part of the front tire is visible.

  • Quotes

    • Chandler: Okay... let me just straighten out your helmet there.
      Ben: (to Chandler) Thanks, Daddy...
      Ross: No-no... One daddy... two mommies...

    • Phoebe: His first big kid's bike. This is so exciting!
      Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Oh, it was my sixth birthday. My dad took me to the park. I got on it, and... it bent.

    • Phoebe: I never had a bike of my own.
      Ross: What?
      Phoebe: Well, we didn't have a lot of money, but the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink... and it had rainbow-colored tassels hanging off the handle grips... and, and, and a bell... and this big, white wicker-basket with those plastic daisies stuck on...
      Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (seeing them all look at him) ...My dad gave me his old one.

    • Monica: (about Phoebe's neighbor's bike) Did the girl ever let you ride it?
      Phoebe: No, but she gave me the box that it came in... It had a picture of the bike on the front, so I would sit on it and my stepdad would drag me around the backyard.
      Ross: That is so unfair.
      Phoebe: Not really... I got to drag him around, too!

    • Chandler: (coming into the kitchen and seeing Monica and Joey) Hey! What're you guys doin'?
      : (stirring a big bowl) Makin' holiday candy for the neighbors...
      Chandler: I'm sorry... Who?
      Monica: I'm gonna hang this basket on the door, and when the neighbors walk by, they can all take a piece.
      Chandler: But we don't know the neighbors.
      Joey: I do! There's, uh... (counting on his fingers) ...the guy with a mustache... "Smokes-A-Lot Lady"... some kids I've seen... and a red-haired guy who does not like to be called "Rusty".
      Monica: Oh, oh, I know that guy! He also doesn't like it when you say, "Back off Howdy Doody, I'm engaged!"
      Chandler: You got hit on by "Firebeard?!"

    • Monica: This is exactly why I'm making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
      Chandler: Wouldn't it be easier if we just... moved?

    • Rachel: (cheerfully) Good morning!
      Chandler: Ahh, somebody's in a good mood!
      Rachel: Well, why shouldn't I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job!
      Monica: ...where you can make out with your assistant!
      Rachel: C'mon, it's not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
      Monica: Oh yeah, what's the plan?
      Rachel: We... We are not... going to let it... be a problem.

    • Monica: (to Rachel about her night with Tag) Did you two...?
      : Oh, Monica, c'mon... You know I don't sleep with guys on the first date!
      Monica: Matt Wyre, Mark Lynn, Ben Wise...
      Rachel: ...anymore!!

    • Monica: Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!
      Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! It's like a crime wave!

    • Phoebe(after getting Ross's present) Oh, my God! My first bike! Thank-you for the best present I've ever gotten.
      Ross: (touched) You're welcome.
      Phoebe: (starts to leave, then stops) Oh, and Chandler's about to cry.
      Chandler: (tearfully) Am not!

    • (Someone's knocking on Monica's door at 4am. She and Chandler answer it)
      Gary: Hi!
      Monica: Hi. Do you know what time it is?
      Gary: It's candy time! ...My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
      Monica: Oh please! (to Chandler) Did you hear that? "Little drops of heaven".
      Chandler: (laughs desperately) Four A-M!

    • Gary: You live in this building?
      (Monica nods)
      Gary: Mm-mm!! Seems like I would have remembered you!
      Chandler: Mm-mm!! 'Night, Gar'!

    • Chandler(incredulous) Is there anybody in this building that does not hit on you?!
      Monica: "Smokes-a-Lot Lady". (thinks about it) Oh, wait... That is not true.

    • Rachel: So, did you read your evaluation yet?
      Tag: No... It was marked "Confidential". I just sent it down to Human Resources.
      Rachel: (panicked) Okay, please, you're kidding right? I wrote that one as a joke for you!
      Tag: A joke they would appreciate?
      Rachel: I'm thinkin', no.
      Tag: What did you say?
      Rachel: Um, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your teeny-tiny tushy.
      Tag: No, not my tushy.
      Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under "Problems with Performance" I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then, uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.

    • Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
      Joey: Almost cried, huh? Hear that Chandler? Almost cried!
      Chandler: Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic!
      Joey: (almost in tears) Those two only had each other!

    • Rachel: (about her evaluation of Tag) Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Y'know, maybe they didn't take it the way I meant it.
      Chandler: Absolutely! Y'know, because "tushy" can mean both "ass"... and "good worker".

    • Joey: (watching Monica talk to a neighbor) Hey, Chandler... do we know that lady?
      Chandler: Maybe... Isn't she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
      Monica: (about giving her candy) Alright, I'll do it just this once! But... you can't tell anybody!
      Woman: (excited) Yes! Yes! Please... just give it to me!
      Joey & Chandler: Yeah, that's her.

    • Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? that people would like you?
      Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you? ...huh, funny man?!

    • Ross: (to Monica, who is making candy) Need some help?
      Monica: No! You don't know the system! I don't need nobody messing with the system!
      Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding? may not see a lot of me.

    • (Ross has learned that Phoebe doesn't know how to ride the bike he gave her)
      : (to Phoebe in her room) Alright, y'know what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike, then I'm sorry. I'm just gonna have to take it back.
      Phoebe: What?! Why?!
      Ross: Because! Because, it's... It'd be like you having this guitar and never playing it, okay? This guitar wants to be played! ...and this bike wants to be ridden! ...and, and if you don't ride it you're killing its spirit! (dramatically) The bike... is dying.
      Phoebe: Alright... if you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
      Ross: Great! Great! You're making the bike very happy.
      Phoebe: (facetiously) Okay, Ross!
      (Ross leaves)
      Phoebe: (whispering to the bike) Please don't die!

    • Chandler: (to the crowd about Monica) She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you... and I'll bet that not one of you... can tell me her name. Am I right?
      Guy: (sheepishly) Candy Lady?
      Chandler: (mocking) Not "Candy Lady"!
      Joey: (elbowing into view) If we know it, can we have candy?!

    • Monica: Did you smoke?
      Chandler: No! "Smokes-A-Lot Lady" blew smoke directly into my mouth.

    • Chandler: Are you okay?
      Monica: I'm fine now, but it was really scary there for awhile... and someone slipped a threatening note under the door!
      Joey: (grabbing the note) Oh, yeah. Sorry about that... "mob mentality" or whatever...

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Monica: (about their red-haired neighbor) Oh, oh, I know that guy! He also doesn't like it when you say, "Back off Howdy Doody, I'm engaged!"
      Howdy Doody was a popular children's television program from the 50's. Howdy was red-haired and had freckles. Many of the characters, including Howdy, were marionettes.

    • Phoebe: Don't be so corny, Ross. It's not an After School Special.
      "After School Special" is a type of American programming by ABC, and copied by CBS, for adolescents to watch around 4pm, when they get home from school. The specials were known for attempting to teach morality.

    • Chandler: Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic!
      Joey: (almost in tears) Those two had only each other... 
      Titanic, written, produced and directed by James Cameron, is the 1997 Academy Award-winning historical romance/drama starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.