Season 5 Episode 2

The One with All the Kissing

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Oct 01, 1998 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Continuity: It's a good thing Ross wasn't around on the two occasions Chandler kissed Monica (along with the other girls) since Chandler had given Ross such a hard time about kissing his mother in "The One with Mrs. Bing". Not to mention that in "The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister" it was established that kissing a friend's sister was a definite no-no. Incidentally, Joey had apparently forgotten his own rule as well when asking Monica for "a little sugar".

    • Goof: When Monica shows a picture to Phoebe saying that it is everybody in front of the Tower of London, it is actually a picture of Westminster Abbey.

    • Goof: While submerged in the bathtub, Monica did not hear when Joey asked Chandler about getting chicken, yet she did hear when Chandler asked for a regular Coke instead of diet.

    • Goof: When Chandler and Monica are in the tub and Monica says that Chandler looks cute in bubbles, her hair is dry. However when Joey knocks on the door, her hair is suddenly wet.

    • Goof: In the Central Perk scene when they tell Phoebe they are taking her to Atlantic City, Phoebe's hair is over the front of her dress. In the very last shot, her hair is suddenly down her back, despite the fact she didn't move.

    • Goof: In Central Perk when Rachel is telling Ross she loves him, the cups on Ross's table keep moving around.

    • Goof: In Central Perk when Rachel confronts Chandler about all the kissing, she raises her hands up in front of her and tells Chandler to hold on. As he goes to sit back down, she lowers her hands to her lap. The camera angle changes and she is lowering her hands again.

  • Quotes

    • (Joey has left the bathroom and Monica pops up from under the bath water)
      Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry. He wouldn't leave. He kept asking me if I wanted chicken.
      Monica: Chicken? (thinks for a moment) ...I could eat some chicken.
      Chandler: Hey, Joe! (Monica ducks back under the water as Joey enters) Yeah, could I get a three-piece, some coleslaw, some beans and a Coke? (Monica pokes him underwater) Ah, ah! Ah!! Diet Coke.

    • Ross: (about Rachel) Oh, so you talked to her...? Did she sound mad?
      Monica: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
      Ross: Okay... I did not abandon Rachel, okay?! Emily showed up at the airport--I had to go after her... I mean, I did what I had to do. She's my wife. Rachel's my wife--Emily! Emily is my wife. Man, what is that?!

    • Phoebe: So, you still haven't heard from Emily?
      Ross: No, not since I lost her at the airport.
      Chandler: I can't believe she can outrun you, man.
      Ross (shouting): Hey! She's fast, okay?! Oh, you think you can beat me?! Let's go, outside! (calms down) I'm sorry, I'm just a little...
      Monica: Slow?
      Ross (shouting): Oh, you want some?! Get the shoes on! Let's go, man!!

    • (Rachel has just arrived home after being abandoned by Ross on a plane to Greece)
      : Rachel, I am so, so, sorry.
      Rachel: Aw, Ross, c'mon... You just did what you had to do.
      Ross: That's it? You're not mad? I mean... it must've been terrible.
      Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! There was a nice hotel, nice beach, met the nice people. Not too shabby for Rachel.
      Ross: So, what... that's it?
      Rachel: Oh, yeah. We're cool. Totally cool.
      Ross: Aw, thanks, Rach'. You're the best.
      Rachel: (hugging and patting him on the back) Oh, no, you're the best!

    • Monica: (after Ross leaves) Rach', I think it's good that you had such a good time in Greece.
      Rachel: (angry) What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me, okay? I couldn't get a plane out so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite! ...with people coming up to me going, (with accent) "Oh, Mrs. Geller. Why are you cry?" I mean, it was so humiliating! I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault. And y'know why? Because I make very bad decisions.
      Chandler: Oh, that's not true.
      Rachel: Yes, yes it is true. I went after Ross in stupid London!
      Phoebe: London is stupid... Stupid!
      Rachel: I put on a cheerleading outfit to seduce Joshua... then I lost him because I asked him to marry me after four dates! ...and then I went to Greece on somebody else's honeymoon. Okay... do those sound like very good decisions to you?
      Monica: (pointing at her pseudo-Grecian hairdo) I like your little braid...
      Rachel: Ah, y'know what? I just shouldn't be allowed to make decisions, anymore... Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London... and from now on, you make all on my decisions for me...
      Phoebe: Oh, no, I did that for someone once... I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
      Monica: (jumping at the chance) I'll do it!
      Rachel: Fine. So, Monica... you are now in charge of my love life.

    • Monica: (to Rachel about a cute guy in Central Perk) We made a deal and I say you're going to talk to him.
      Rachel: Alright, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me.
      Joey: (pointing to the cute guy) Say that to him and you're golden.

    • Monica: What took you so long?
      Chandler: I got caught up at work--but I'm quitting tomorrow...

    • (The gang catches Chandler kissing Monica, so he kisses the other girls to divert suspicion)
      Joey: What the hell was that?!
      Monica: It's probably some European good-bye thing he picked up in London.
      Rachel: That's not European!
      Phoebe: Well, it felt French...

    • Rachel: (about Ross's big cardboard box) What's that?
      Ross: It came in the mail today. It's, uh, seventy-two long-stemmed red roses, one for each day I've known and loved Emily... cut up into mulch!

    • Ross: I'm just going to wander around in the rain.
      Rachel: Uhh... it's not raining.
      Ross: I can't catch a break!

    • Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me you blew him off. Now, you listen to me, I'm calling the shots. I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave. I mean, what the hell are you trying to do?
      Rachel: Well, ultimately, I was trying... Well, I, I wanted to tell him that... that I'm still in love with him.
      Monica (gasps): What?! You cannot tell him that.
      Rachel: Why? Why not? People love to hear that! C'mon, I love you... There, wasn't that nice?
      Monica: No... I make the decisions and I say... no!
      Rachel: Well, y'know what? don't make my decisions, because... you're fired!
      Monica: You can't fire me! ...I make your decisions and I say I'm not fired! ...Ha!

    • Ross: I'm gonna use the phone, I've got to cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. My God, think of the massacre.

    • Rachel: I think I'm gonna do it.
      Monica: Rachel, I know you think I'm crazy, but please, before you tell him you love him, just try to find one person... who thinks it's a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
      Rachel: But I--
      Monica: Please.

    • Joey: Pheebs, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and you were kinda feeling left out...?
      Phoebe: Yah...
      Joey: Alright, well... we all felt really bad about that, so... we decided we should all take a little trip together.
      Phoebe: Oh, that's so nice. How great! Where, where's the trip?
      Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic... in Central Park!
      Phoebe: (excited) Central... (deflated) ...Park?
      Joey: Yeah, all of us--all day!
      Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park. What'll we high-five about at the stupid Central Park? Oh, it's right by my house! ...Alright!
      Chandler: Well... I'm going to go home and bask in the triumpth of my Central Park idea.

    • Rachel: (to Chandler who's getting up to leave) Hold on there a sec', Mr. Kissy... Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole new little European thing you've got goin' on... And I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable... and I just, y'know, just... stop it!
      Chandler: Well, I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
      Phoebe: That's fine--just don't bring it in my mouth.
      Monica: (joining in) It makes me wanna puke!

    • Monica: Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him.
      Rachel: Y'know what? ...that doesn't matter.
      Monica: Okay, Rachel... do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone you love them... and not have them say it back?
      Rachel: I don't care.
      Monica: Okay... I, I can't watch.

    • Rachel: (to Ross when they're alone in Central Perk) Um, okay, I think I'm, I'm just gonna, just gonna say it... Uh... I'm still in love with you, Ross.
      Ross: (taken aback) Wow. Um... Huh... I'm, I'm not sure what to do with that right now.
      (Rachel starts laughing hysterically)
      Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? ...'cause it's mean.
      Rachel: (still laughing) I'm so dead serious... I'm totally serious!
      Ross: Why are you laughing?
      Rachel: Because I just heard it... I heard it... and it's ridiculous! I mean... you're married. You're married, and it's just ridiculous. It's like when I said it I sort of floated up out my body. And then I heard myself say it, and then the floating Rachel was like... (laughs) "You're such an idiot!"
      Ross: Well, I am married... even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding...
      Rachel: (bursts out laughing again, but then composes herself) I'm sorry, that's not funny.
      Ross: Actually, it kind of is.

    • Rachel: Okay, y'know what? Could you just kinda forget that I told you this?
      Ross: Well, I kind of have to 'cause the thing is...
      Rachel: The thing is, y'know... you're married to Emily.
      Ross: That is what the thing is.
      Rachel: Oh, God. Oh, Ross, things won't be weird between us, right? I mean, was that just the stupidest thing? telling you that?
      Ross: No, no, I'm glad you did. If nothing else... It's always great when someone tells you they love you.
      Rachel: That's what I said! ...Thank-you for being so nice...

    • Rachel: Oh, God. I'm just glad I didn't give you the cassette I made you of all our songs.
      Ross: Wha... what songs?
      Rachel: Oh, you know... "With or Without you..."
      Ross: Oh, yeah.
      Rachel: "Everybody Hurts..."
      Ross: Oh, yeah.
      Rachel: "Rhiannon..."
      Ross: Why "Rhiannon"?
      Rachel: Oh, c'mon... you remember! ...In the living room? On Monica's laundry?
      Ross: Not me.
      Rachel: Really...?

    • Monica: So, what happened?
      Rachel: Well, it was really hard... but I'm glad I did it.
      Monica: So was I right or wrong?
      Rachel: Oh, c'mon, honey, does it really matter?
      Monica: No... Yes! I need it for my score book... Diary!!

    • Phoebe: (as the gang is about to leave for Atlantic City) Owww!
      Joey: (pointing towards the floor) Oh! ...Pheebs... you're leakin'...
      Monica: Oh, my God! ...your water broke!
      Joey: Ohhh!
      Phoebe: Alright... well don't worry--I call shotgun! (starts heading for the door)
      Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Pheebs! ...we have to take you to the hospital now...
      Phoebe: Okay... Well, there's probably one on the way to Atlantic City...
      Ross: Pheebs! Pheebs! The babies are coming... now!
      Rachel: (excited, with her hand raised) Honey! High five! ...the babies are coming!
      (The gang starts high-fiving one another)
      Phoebe: Hey! Hey! ...Remember when my water broke?!

    • Chandler: (as the last ones leaving for the hospital) I can't believe I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left the room... I mean, it's too bad they didn't see us having sex!
      Monica: Do you know anything about women?
      Chandler: No...
      Monica: It's alright.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Rachel: (describing a mix-tape she made of her and Ross's favorite songs) "With or Without you..."
      Ross: Oh yeah.
      Rachel: "Everybody Hurts..."
      Ross: Oh yeah.
      Rachel: "Rhiannon..."
      "With or Without You" is a song by U2 used in "The One with the List".
      "Everybody Hurts" is a song by R.E.M.
      "Rhiannon" is a song by Fleetwood Mac.