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Season 5 Episode 2

The One with All the Kissing

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Oct 01, 1998 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Continuity: When Chandler and Monica are in the tub and Monica says that Chandler looks cute in bubbles, her hair is dry. However when Joey knocks on the door, her hair is suddenly wet.

    • Goof: In the Central Perk scene when they tell Phoebe they are taking her to Atlantic City, Phoebe's hair is over the front of her dress. In the very last shot, her hair is suddenly down her back, despite the fact she didn't move.

    • Goof: In Central Perk when Rachel is telling Ross she loves him, the cups on Ross's table keep moving around.

    • Goof: In Central Perk when Rachel confronts Chandler about all the kissing, she raises her hands up in front of her and tells Chandler to hold on. As he goes to sit back down, she lowers her hands to her lap. The camera angle changes and she is lowering her hands again.

    • Goof: When Monica shows a picture to Phoebe saying that it is everybody in front of Tower of London, it is actually a picture of Westminster Abbey.

    • Goof: While submerged in the bathtub, Monica did not hear when Joey asked Chandler about getting chicken, yet she did hear when Chandler asked for a regular Coke instead of diet.

  • Quotes

    • (Joey has left the bathroom and Monica pops up from under the bath water)
      Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry. He wouldn't leave. He kept asking me if I wanted chicken.
      Monica: Chicken? I could eat some chicken.
      Chandler: Hey, Joe! (Monica ducks back under the water as Joey enters) Yeah, could I get a three-piece, some coleslaw, some beans and a Coke? (Monica kicks him underwater) Ah, ah! Ah!! Diet Coke.

    • Ross: (about Rachel) Oh so you talked to her. Did she sound mad?
      Monica: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
      Ross: Okay. I did not abandon Rachel. Okay. Emily showed up at the airport. I had to go after her, I mean, I did what I had to do. She's my wife. Rachel's my wife. Emily! Emily is my wife. Man, what is that?

    • Ross: (about abandoning Rachel on a plane to Greece) Rachel, I am so, so, sorry.
      Rachel: Aw, Ross, come on. You just did what you had to do.
      Ross: That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible.
      Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! There was a nice hotel, nice beach, met the nice people. Not too shabby for Rachel.
      Ross: So, what... that's it?
      Rachel: Oh, yeah. We're cool. Totally cool.
      Ross: Aw, thanks, Rach'. You're the best.
      Rachel: (hugging and patting him on the back) Oh, no, you're the best!

    • Monica: Rach, I think it's good that you had such a good time in Greece.
      Rachel (angry): What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece. Ross abandoned me! Okay? I couldn't get a plane out so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite! With people coming up to me going, (with accent) 'Oh, Mrs. Gellar. Why are you cry?' I mean, it was so humiliating! I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault. And you know why? Because I make very bad decisions.
      Chandler: Oh, that's not true.
      Rachel: Yes, yes it is true. I went after Ross in stupid London!
      Phoebe: London is stupid. Stupid!
      Rachel: I put on a cheerleading outfit to seduce Joshua. Then I lost him because I asked him to marry me after four dates. And then I went to Greece on somebody else's honeymoon. Okay? Do those sound like very good decisions to you?
      Monica: I like your little braid.
      Rachel: Ah, you know what? I just shouldn't be allowed to make decisions anymore. Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London. And from now on, you make all on my decisions for me.
      Phoebe: Oh, no, I did that for someone once, I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
      Monica: I'll do it!
      Rachel: Fine. So, Monica, you are now in charge of my love life.

    • (The gang catches Chandler and Monica kissing, so Chandler kisses the other girls good-bye)
      Joey: What the hell was that?!
      Monica: It's probably some European good-bye thing he picked up in London.
      Rachel: That's not European.
      Phoebe: Well, it felt French.

    • Monica: (about a cute guy in Central Perk) You're going to talk to him. You know what? We made a deal and I say you're going to talk to him.
      Rachel: Alright, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me.
      Joey: Say that to him and you're golden.

    • Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me you blew him off. Now, you listen to me, I'm calling the shots. I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave. I mean, what the hell are you trying to do?
      Rachel: Well, ultimately, I was trying... Well, I, I wanted to tell him that... that I'm still in love with him.
      Monica (gasps): What?! You cannot tell him that.
      Rachel: Why? Why not? People love to hear that. Come on, I love you. There, wasn't that nice?

    • Rachel: (to Monica) You're fired!
      Monica: You can't fire me! I'm in charge of your decisions and I say I'm not fired!

    • Ross: I'm just going to wander around in the rain.
      Rachel: Uhh... it's not raining.
      Ross: I can't catch a break!

    • Rachel: I think I'm gonna do it.
      Monica: Rachel, I know you think I'm crazy, but please, before you tell him you love him, just try to find one person... who thinks it's a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
      Rachel: But I--
      Monica: Please.

    • Monica: Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him.
      Rachel: You know what? That doesn't matter.
      Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone you love them... and not have them say it back?
      Rachel: I don't care.
      Monica: Okay. I, I can't watch.

    • Rachel: Um, okay, I think I'm, I'm just gonna, just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uh... I'm still in love with you Ross.
      Ross (shocked): Wow. Um... Huh... I'm, I'm not sure what to do with that right now. (Rachel starts laughing hysterically) What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
      Rachel (laughing): I'm so dead serious. I'm totally serious!
      Ross: Why are you laughing?
      Rachel: Because I just heard it. I heard it. And it's ridiculous! I mean... you're married. You're married, and it's just ridiculous. It's like when I said it I sort of floated up out my body. And then I heard myself say it, and then the floating Rachel... (laughs) I was like 'you're such an idiot.'
      Ross: Well, I am married even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding.
      Rachel (still laughing): I'm sorry, that's not funny.
      Ross: Actually, it kind of is.

    • Rachel: Okay, you know what? Could you just kinda forget that I told you this?
      Ross: Well, I kind of have to 'cause the thing is...
      Rachel: The thing is, you know, you're married to Emily.
      Ross: That is what the thing is.
      Rachel: Oh, God. Oh, Ross, things won't be weird between us, right? I mean, was that just the stupidest thing? Me telling you that?
      Ross: No, no, I'm glad you did. If nothing else... It's always great when someone tells you they love you.
      Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice.

    • Rachel: Oh, God. I'm just glad I didn't give you the cassette I made you of all our songs.
      Ross: Wha... what songs?
      Rachel: Oh, you know: "With or Without you..."
      Ross: Oh, yeah.
      Rachel: "...Everybody Hurts."
      Ross: Oh, yeah.
      Rachel: "Rhiannon."
      Ross: Why "Rhiannon"?
      Rachel: Oh, come on, you remember! In the living room? On Monica's laundry?
      Ross: Not me.
      Rachel: Really...

    • Rachel: (to Chandler who's getting up to leave) Hold on there a sec', Mr. Kissy... You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole new little European thing you've got going on. And I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable... and I just, you know, just stop it.
      Chandler: Well, I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
      Phoebe: That's fine. Just don't bring it in my mouth.
      Monica: (joining in) It makes me wanna puke.

    • Joey: Pheebs, you know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and you were kinda feeling left out? Alright, well, we all felt really bad about that... so we decided we should all take a little trip together.
      Phoebe: Oh, that's so nice. How great! Where, where's the trip?
      Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic in Central Park.
      Phoebe: Central Park?
      Joey: Yeah, all of us, all day.
      Phoebe: That sucks. That's not a trip! I just came from the park. What'll we high-five about at the stupid Central Park? Oh, it's right by my house. Alright!
      Chandler: Well, I'm going to go home and bask in the triumpth of my Central Park idea.

    • Phoebe: So, you still haven't heard from Emily?
      Ross: No, not since I lost her at the airport.
      Chandler: I can't believe she can outrun you, man.
      Ross (screaming): Hey! She's fast, okay?! Oh, you think you can beat me?! Let's go, outside! (calms down) I'm sorry, I'm just a little...
      Monica: Slow?
      Ross (screaming): Oh, you want some?! Get the shoes on, let's go, man!

    • Monica: What took you so long?
      Chandler: I got caught up at work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.

    • Rachel: (about Ross's box) What's that?
      Ross: It came in the mail today. It's, uh, seventy-two long-stemmed red roses, one for each day I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!

    • Ross: I'm gonna use the phone, I've got to cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. My God, think of the massacre.

    • Monica: So, what happened?
      Rachel: Well, it was really hard... but I'm glad I did it.
      Monica: So was I right or wrong?
      Rachel: Oh, come on, honey, does it really matter?
      Monica: No... Yes! I need it for my score book... Diary!

    • Chandler: I can't believe I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left the room. I mean, it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
      Monica: Do you know anything about women?
      Chandler: No.
      Monica: It's alright.

  • Notes

  • Allusions