Season 5 Episode 11

The One with All the Resolutions

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Jan 07, 1999 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Trivia: One of Ross' resolutions is to just have the one divorce in '99, but because of his marriage to Rachel in Vegas, his divorce from her makes two divorces in '99.

    • Goof: When Rachel and Joey are discussing if "they know," there is a silence and Joey's hands are by his sides. When the shot changes, his right arm is over the back of his chair.

    • Goof: When Ross first enters Elizabeth's bathroom, the lotion is first in line on the top shelf, then something else, and then the powder. Later, the powder is first in line on the top shelf.

    • Goof: When the New Year arrives and the camera is on Phoebe and Ross, Rachel goes to hug Joey in the background. When the shot changes to Rachel and Joey, Rachel goes to hug Joey again.

    • Goof: When the gang counts down to the New Year, the timing is not in sync with the TV.

    • Goof: Monica's resolution is to take more pictures of the friends. In the scene where Joey and Phoebe argue about Joey learning the real names of the guitar chords, she seems to walk out of the setting, reappears, stands between Joey and Phoebe and a picture is taken from the direction of one of the crew members. She smiles and walks away without saying anything to the photographer. The missing three friends are not in this scene!
      Note: It is possible that Monica set the timer on the camera.

    • Magna Doodle: A drawing of a coffee cup

    • Goof: In the scene where Ross is trying to get his leather pants up, the stain on his shirt keeps changing.

    • Goof: When Ross is on the phone with Joey about his leather pants, his hair moves from across his forehead to slicked up from scene to scene.

    • Trivia: The bottle of Motts apple juice is spelled OTTS.

    • Continuity: In this episode Phoebe says she does not know the real names of guitar chords, but in "The One with the Baby on the Bus" she refers to the chords D and A-Minor.

    • Goof: When Phoebe says she doesn't want to fly in the rain, if you look outside the window you can see it's not raining.

    • Goof: Rachel and Joey loudly shout to each other about Chandler and Monica while Ross is just a few feet away in the other room, yet Ross does not hear them discussing the secret.

    • Goof: When Rachel overhears Monica and Chandler on the phone, she yelps before clicking the phone off. You would think Monica or Chandler would have heard her through the phone.

  • Quotes

    • Joey: Ross! Ross, who you kissin' at midnight?
      Ross: What?
      Joey: Well, you gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss your sister.
      Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister?
      Joey: Chandler.
      Ross: Aw, man! (makes face)
      Joey: Dude, dude. Who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
      Ross: That's a good point.

    • Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
      Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?

    • Joey: Rach', Rach'... I'm gonna kiss you at midnight.
      Rachel: What?
      Joey: Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross because of the history.
      Rachel: So?
      Joey: So, who would you rather have kissing you, me or Chandler?
      Rachel: Oh, good point.

    • Ross: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99! (blows party horn)
      Rachel: But your divorce isn't final yet.
      Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! (blows party horn again)

    • Ross: Y'know what? I am gonna be happy this year... I am gonna make myself happy.
      Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room, or...?

    • Phoebe (about New Year's resolutions): Mine is to pilot a commercial jet plane.
      Chandler: That's a good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a plane load of people whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths!
      Phoebe: Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends--especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
      Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.

    • Monica: Hey, Rach', maybe your resolution should be to gossip less.
      Rachel: I don't gossip. (everyone laughs) Maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on, y'know... kind of like a public service. It doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Koppel a gossip?
      Monica: Well, if Ted Koppel talked about his coworker's botched boob job... yeah, I would!
      Rachel: Well, they were like this! (points her fingers in opposite directions)

    • Chandler: (about Phoebe's teaching methods) What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know, some might find it amusing... I myself find it regular.

    • Phoebe: Do you want to learn to play guitar?
      Joey: Yes.
      Phoebe: Then don't touch one!

    • Chandler: Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? ...Someone comment on the pants!
      (Everyone compliments Ross's pants)
      Chandler: That's not what I had in mind. See, people like Ross generally don't wear these types of pants... You see, they're very tight. Maybe there's something in that area...
      Joey: Where'd you get them?
      Ross: Oh, see, I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store I go by that always smells so good and I thought to myself, wow... (looking at Chandler) ...I've never owned a really good-smelling... pair of pants before.
      Chandler: Oh, come on!!

    • (Rachel goes to make a call but hears Monica's voice on the phone)
      Monica: I can't wait to be with you. I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple hours.
      Chandler: Laundry, huh? Is that my new nickname?
      Monica: Awww... You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big...
      (Rachel yelps and hangs up the phone)

    • Joey: (on the phone) Ross? You okay?
      Ross: They're still not coming on, man, and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
      Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
      Ross: What difference does that make?!
      Joey: Well, I'm just—if the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference!

    • Rachel: Okay, Joey, I have got to tell you something.
      Joey: What? What is it?
      Rachel: Oh, my God, it's so huge! ...but you have to promise me... you cannot tell anyone.
      Joey: Oh, no, no! I don't wanna know.
      Rachel: What? Oh, yes, you do wanna know! This is unbelievable!
      Joey: Well, I don't care, Rach'. Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone.
      Rachel: Wh-What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
      Joey: And you're not supposed to be gossiping.
      Rachel: No, I know, I know. I just can't keep this one in... So, I pick up the phone and...
      (Joey puts his hands over his ears and starts hollering to drown her out)

    • Joey: Hey, Pheebs?
      Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!

    • Chandler: Pheebs, you may know this. You know strange things. What is the boiling point of brain?
      Phoebe: I used to know this.

    • Monica: Okay, now that everything is done here, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
      Chandler: Oh, yeah, me too, y'know... if this shirt is dirty... (smells it) Yep.

    • Rachel: Hey, Joey, you remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about? (Joey covers his ears and starts to holler) I'm not gonna tell you. But if you found out on your own that would be okay, and then we could talk about it, right?
      Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret, so that would be okay, yeah... Yeah.
      Rachel: Hey, uh, Joe, would you mind going over in Chandler's bedroom and getting that book back that he borrowed from me?
      Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now, I... Do you know something?
      Rachel: Do you know something?
      Joey: I might know something.
      Rachel: I might know something, too.
      Joey: What's the thing you know?
      Rachel: Oh, no... I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
      Joey: I can't tell you what I know.
      Rachel: Okay, then I can't tell you what I know.
      Joey: Okay, fine. (studies her and then sneers) You don't know...
      Rachel: I'll go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see the thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know.
      Joey: (gasps) You know!
      Rachel: And you know!
      Joey: Yeah, I know!
      Rachel: Chandler and Monica? Oh this is unbelievable! How long have you known?
      Joey: Too long! Oh, my God, Rach', I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! But, listen, listen... you can't say anything to anybody--they're so weird about that!

    • Chandler: Oh, good, okay--I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore! So you win, okay? Here! (hands Ross a $50 bill) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! ...And Hornswoggle? What, are you dating a character from Fraggle Rock?! (collapses onto the couch and lets out a huge sigh of relief)

  • Notes

    • International Episode Titles:
      Czech Republic: Novoroční předsevzetí (New Year's Resolution)

    • This episode runs 24:10 on DVD (a typical sitcom runs about 22:00).There are extra scenes when Monica's original resolution was to be less obsessed with cleanliness but then Rachel dumps crumbs on the floor and where Monica checks Rachel's diary because her new year resolution was to write in the diary every day.

  • Allusions

    • When Ross and Elizabeth are watching television, the music coming from the TV is the theme from the 1966 movie A Man and a Woman.

    • Chandler: And Ross, phone call for you today. Tom Jones. He wants his pants back!
      Tom Jones is a Grammy Award-winning singer and Vegas headliner.

    • Joey: Okay, cut slits in the pants, right? Then put them back on, go out there and tell her you're The Incredible Hulk.
      The Hulk (Dr. Robert Bruce Banner), sometimes referred to as "The Incredible Hulk", is a fictional character appearing in the Marvel Comics Universe. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, thanks to a popular TV series, The Incredible Hulk, as well as appearances in numerous motion pictures including the 2012 blockbuster, Marvel's The Avengers, he has since become one of Marvel Comics' most recognized superheroes.

    • Phoebe: (to Joey) Fine! You go learn from your "qualified instructor." But don't come crying to me when everyone is sick and tired of hearing you play "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown"!
      "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" is a song by Jim Croce, about a gambler who is known for being tough and mean, but learns a hard lesson after flirting with someone else's wife.

    • Chandler: Hornswoggle? What're you, dating a character from Fraggle Rock?
      Fraggle Rock was a children's show created by Jim Henson's Workshop, the people who created The Muppets and Sesame Street. Fraggle Rock was pretty popular in the 1980s.

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